Should I call off my wedding?

ABBYsMom	You could if you wanted to feel this out more just postpone the wedding...Date for a while and see where this goes...Dont get married unless you truly can say you love this guy with all your heart, mind, body and soul...or it will end up in divorce court.

justpeachy	Dont marry him if you dont truly love him and believe he is the one. Trust me it only gets harder after your married. If he is not someone you are madly in love with you will end up divorced.

Aiden	If you cannot overlook the fact that he is miles away, then you probably don't deserve him. What would happen if he were sent overseas and you were married? Would you sit around and think, "Wow, since he isn't here to hold my hand, I guess I just don't love him anymore"? What if he got cancer and had to go to the hospital for months at a time. Would you leave him then? The problem isn't with him, and the problem isn't with the distance. It's with you. I feel sorry for this man. He's got himself another uncommitted woman. If you can't handle a little distance, then you don't deserve him.

cathy h	YOU REALLY NEED TO BE SURE! If you have any doubts, then re-think this decision! Will you live together when/if you get married? Sometimes long distance relationships DO work, but I do believe the take a lot of work and committment. You need to sit down and talk, I mean really talk, this isn't just some "what will I wear today?" kind of decision. This is serious, takes some intense thought, consideration and "what-ifs". I've been married 40 years, and even we have things we should have hashed out, long ago. Sometimes when you are young all you can think about is how much you are in love (which is good, but not the only factor) , but their are other things to consider. Especially in a relationship where two people live so far apart. If you only love him as a friend, I don't think that's good enough. You need to let him know that's how you feel. Good luck, you sound like you are adult enough to make the right decision!

Toffy	If you dont feel romantic with him and he is only a best friend so to speak....I would think no marriage. However, bzillions of marriages in and over lengths of time become less romantic, and more compatiblity, comfortable, partnerships. Many long lasting marriages are built upon deep and trusting friendships. Some start that way and develop into romance and true intimacy. My suggestion would be to postpone the marriage date until you have given yourself time to complete what ever it is you need to complete within yourself. If you are sure you don't want this guy as your partner then let him down easy as apparently he cares for you very deeply. Remember, not all women are the marrying kind and since you have the problem with relationships long distance or otherwise, I would do some deep searching to find the reasons behind your innerself. Good Luck in what ever you do.

Prof F	Once you have DOUBT, even the slightest feeling of DOUBT, CALL OF THE WEDDING! Getting married is not like taking a piece of hot meal and when you don't like it, you just have to throw it out. Don't risk both your future just because you want to get married. Take care.

gabluesmanxlt	Move on. Find someone to be with. Right now you've got someone to NOT be with. That's not right. Move on.

Crookedlettaman	Marriage holds different meanings depending on your cultural background and values. For much of history, people married for social purposes and to rear children, not for romantic love. The idea of marrying primarily for romantic love is, in the context of human history, are fairly recent one. You'll have to decide which concept of marriage best fits your value set, because ultimately that is what will make you happy. Hope this helps.

Witchy	OK...1st "romantic feelings"...come and go even in a good marriage. 2nd why couldn't you be honest and tell him ALL your feelings? I suggest you at least postpone this....have a heart to heart with him...be TOTALLY Honest this time. Maybe it will work its way thru...maybe it wont. But EVERYTHING happens for a reason...life is about learning and improving...the best for both of you is be honest with each other and yourself. You say you love him...but not romantically...is this because your bored of him? Love ..even true love doesn't burn hot 100% of the time...and all relationships have ups and downs...maybe your missing the feelings of NEW love..this is normal...it doesnt stay giddy and blissfull for ever....but grows into new directions. Hold off...if its meant to be..it will be. Good luck and Happy New Year

H	Give it time. Talk with him often and explore your feelings and his. Don't rush anything. All relationships "settle" after a while and that first strong rush becomes either a loving partnership or loses it's appeal completely. It would appear that he is confused by his feelings as well. Talk together and see where it leads.

jacketbacker1	1/ If you have no romantic feelings for this guy, why are you wanting to marry him in the first place? 2/ The best husband in the world is your best friend, now and forever. BUT you do have to commit to remaining with him always, and that will mean being romantic with him, most likely, a lot! CAN YOU DO THAT? 3/ You said you did not tell him all your feelings. WHY? What are you hiding or withholding from him? 4/ Why did he ask if you are going to work? It appears you have answered your own question. You are 'so distanced from him'. There is a reason for that. Look within and answer that question for yourself. You know that answer already, but maybe do not want to admit it yet. 5/ GOOD LUCK, and Happy 2008!

Anne C	Pre-wedding jitters are normal, but this is not what I consider normal. The relationship is not being given the opportunity for healthy growth. You don't say why the two of you are apart. I don't see this as building a marriage on stable ground. I would postpone it until you can be together to see if it will work. Why be another statistic?

...girly...	love if feel you would be loved forever...

conim2002	You said it in one sentence. "You don't have romantic feelings for him". Marriage is difficult enough to try and make it fly without without marrying someone that you are not in love with.

fghcdeab	u should not marry some1 who u are not in love with !! m,arriage is about love !!

likeminded	when your confused about whether to do something or not do it ... always just do it anyway .. life is a journey

CALI PRETTY GIRL 916 BABY	girl ive been there before wow, if you love him enough, and you feel it could work, than try, but if not...... than dont marriage is taken way to lightly now days and once you marry this guy there id no just gettin up and leavin. im in the same boat and i think about this stuff all the time!!! like wow if i marry this guy im stuck... are we going to last??,,but in other countries they get married really young and dont even know the ppl and them and theyre famlies come out great!! that little doubt your having is going to get worse watch,

Smartypants	Talk it out with him. Explain your feelings. If you are not in love you definitly should not marry him. This will cause more problems for you. I really hope everything works out! Good Luck and Best Wishes!!

cheeky_lil_pixiegirl	I think you should keep at it. Perhaps once you are able to spend more time together the chemistry will rekindle. When we are away from people we love we lose those romantic feelings to protect our fragile hearts. If you are really worried postpone the wedding until you have both been able to spend some time together, that way you will know what to do when the time comes.

Jane	this may not sound very romantic, but if you already love him as a friend and feel comfortable with him, than the missing chemistry might be still hidden somewhere there as it was before you got on that long-distance thing. The initial head-over-feet always eases out eventually, what stays and grows is based on things you go through together over the time.If you're not sure yet, try to stay close by till you figure things out

S. Elizabeth	Love comes softly, as the book would state. Love is not a feeling, it is a decision. I would give it a few months, perhaps the attraction you used to have to this man will spring up in you again. On the other hand, if you feel it would be unwise to marry him, then don't.

John M	Honey, marriage is forever. You can't just "get back into the swing of things before marriage". Where are you two going to live when you get married? Different cities? Get together now or call it off.

jackie_jabar	Marriage is a very serious committment and you do want to be sure that this is something that you really want to do. For me it would be easier to call it off even for a few months while you give yourself time to see if this is really what you want to do. Marriage can be tough enough even if you are madly in love with the person and it would be impossible with someone that you only consider a friend. Don't cheat yourself or him by going through with it when you are not sure.

lickthisup69	Don't do it. You don't love him to the point of marriage. If that's the case, save yourself the agony and save him the embarrassment.

windybreeze	Definitely!!!!!! When in doubt, step back, evaluate, discuss, and exit the romance. OH, and be honest!

J.A.K. <3	well i think you should spend time with him just to feel that romantic feeling again but if it isn't there after a few weeks try to let him down easy

iron-man	do you want to marry for love or security? i would hope both. tell him the truth

mike_alegend	No need to marry someone whom you are not in love with. If you do you will be asking for problems down the road.