Should I leave my great boyfriend of 5yrs since he's not ready for marriage, but I am?

Kitty	I agree with you. What is it that he wants to "accomplish" that marriage would prevent him from accomplishing? I would be very curious to hear the answer. To me it sounds like a lame excuse. He's leading you on. It's up to you what you want to do; I would let him know that if we don't have a wedding date set within a couple of months, I would be moving on and looking for someone who is serious about marrying me. You've already given him more time than I ever would. Good luck.

smecky809042003	Never leave a good man who loves you and who you love in return. I don't care if he won't marry you. It's likely you'll be past childbearing years when you find another decent guy or you'll marry and get pregnant by a boozing beast. Stay with him.

sissyd	It seems to me that if you have been together 5 years that one or two more wouldn't matter. If he loves you and wants to marry you, the he should be able to make the commitment and at least get engaged. Tha way you could set a date and start planning you wedding. If you want a big wedding, the time would be good since big weddings take a lot of time and planning.

reddevilbloodymary	Once you FINALLY get married, how long is he going to make you wait till you have children? What logistically can't he do/accomplish with a wife that he could with a girlfriend? Why can't you compromise, get married soon, and wait the two years to start making babies? Theoretically, you could be waiting forever, what if in two years he says he still has a couple things he'd like to get done before you get married?

M B	5 years is a long time and now he wants to wait more and his excuse isn't a good one like you said you could accomplish his goals together which would make them sweeter.... If it has been good for 5 years who am I to tell you that you should move on but maybe you need to have a serious conversation where you are straight up with him and lay down your own goals to be accomplished including marriage to the man you love and to start having those children he wants with you. Be straight forward and tell him how you really feel, lay it all the way out for him so he understands how important this is to YOU...

Camelgirl	You have waited too long! Do you have 5 more years to waste??? It's not like either one of you is in their early 20's anymore.

fantizis	Leave him??? Of course NOT!!! If you leave him, you have to find a new one and you will hope to be like the other one (as you said he is great) and then after 2-3 years married him... but wait... after 2-3 years???? this is the time that the good guy wanted... are you sure that if you leave him you will find a better one an married him in a year? and what if the new one wants a couple of years to prepare...??? Thing clear... Can you leave away from him??? if you can answer that, then u have your main answer... i thing you cant cause otherwise you wouldn't even thing of marriage Don't leave him... just wait and organized it from now on!

Miss G. H. Etto	Girl, .........I posted a question up here not too long ago simular to this and the best response I got was " Tell him to sh*t or get off the pot!" Your time and your dreams are too important to be waiting around on him. Move on!!! It's his lost.

jeff	Read these sites on mar=== an there problems when not ready??? It's not just something to do if he isn't ready Pushing him into something he isn't ready for.Will lead to disaster, Your call ??Just my thought.??

Rose	well i think u should give him time im a gurl n boyfriend once wanted that but i wasnt ready..i had school..job so it was too much n besides i would have kids n would all b too much then so i didnt n we broke up n i could careless becus he only thought about himself..to me....so jus give him a chance n wait you'll luv life n he wont have ta worry or nag bout that ...marriage is 4ever..but those things he wants to do is better for him to do now so jus wait u already waited so it wouldnt hurt a yr or 2

Izetriyen	he's doing it on his own? those 'things'? you are right..two heads are better than one. he's looking for someone else. he may be right about only 'thinking of you as he wife, you having his kids' but 5 years is long enough to wait...unless youre living in two different countries and cant combine your resources. your ages are a good enough indication that he will always do things on his own, without you. seems to me anyway. peace

doanel	More things he wants to accomplish? Well, that could last forever. I like your thought that you could accomplish more together. Doesn't sound good to me. Maybe tell him politely that this "more to accomplish" isn't getting it and you need to move on with him or without him. Good Luck.

amanda r	Would he consider engagement...and a wedding to be planned in a year or so? If you truly think this is the person you are meant to be with...I wouldn't push or threaten. It will put a strain on your relationship. Not only that, but if you do, and in 6months from now he asks you to marry him, will you think it is because that is what he wants, or will it be because you have pushed?

A W	My cousin wasted some of her best years on a guy who said he wanted to marry her but was just waiting for the right time. Unfortunately for her, she believed him and waited and waited and waited, until she finally realized he never planned on making the committment. Yes he loved her and wanted to be with her, but he just wouldn't commit. She wants to get married and have kids, and now that she's 32, she's wishing she hadn't let him string her on for so long.

â™¥Pug Loverâ™¥	if hes a great guy give him time because its hard to find one.and if you love him you should understand that and when hes done with what he needs to do it will probaly work out better because when you are married that just might just only put more stress on him

suzimizzi	Your getting the itch. You want commitment!! He is probably a bit scared about finances etc. Give him time and if you really love him you will wait. Marraige is a constitution and is easy to get into but hard to get out of. I know where you are coming from though.

eyedoc999	He's afraid of something-- But of what? (you can tell me better than I can). He might just need reassurance that things won't change if you were to get married. I know what you SHOULDN'T do: give him an ultimatum. Would you REALLY want to be married to a guy who only married you because you gave him an ultimatum? Good luck!

rallyk420	trust me guys get scared when they hear the word marriage but if hes a great bf dont let him go just give him time 5 years together is a long time to just give up

Raspberry	If he is the one then you need to wait it out. Ask him if he is willing to do a long engagement and perhaps that will give you both what you are looking for. Good luck!

bodinibold	Dump him. If you want marriage and he doesn't, that's a big gap to fill. Unless your willing to wait for whatever thing he wants to accomplish, go your own way and tell him if you haven't met someone new in two years he can try again. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. I wasn't ready to get hooked up for good with a particular woman, she got tired of it and told me it was over and now it's the biggest mistake I ever made in my life. I regret it every morning and it's been more than a year now. If he's smart he'll jump when he has the chance. and telling him you want to get married is not pressuring him. No one is putting a gun to his head. You have ever right to have your life be exactly how you want and if he wants to go along for the ride, fine. If not, move on. Why put your life on hold for him? Why does he get to set the timetable?

secondhand serende	i think you should call a counsler and talk over it. but i think you should not leave him because he said he does not want to get married. you guys are adults you will find a way to work it out

Louis	If you love him a lot and trust what he says, do not leave him. You might not find an other person that loves you as much as he does ..let him finish what he wants then when he does mention it again

Orleanslady	Dont push him. Whats the rush? It's been 5 years a few more wont hurt. Hopefully he will be true to his word. Good Luck!

hindergirl17	No if you really love him you will wait till he is ready.

ladrhiana	wow marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper if he wants you to wait a year or two what's the big deal? what's your hurry? there is no status to marriage my hubby and i were together for a long time before we got married... when we did it, nothing changed at all... if anything, we argue more now than we ever did before we got married... think... the grass isn't always greener on the other side. if you push him into marriage... he may grow to resent you and over time, that will poison the good thing you've got going

armygirl613	Well if your going to leave him because he doesnt want to marry you yet, doesnt that kinda defeat the object of wanting to marry him at all? Im sure if you support him, and help him achieve his dreams then give it time-you will be married soon!

123	i think he should b readi to get married, tell him u want to start a family before u get old and try a little more, tell him how much u wanna get married or say letz get engaged and slowly start planning the wedding...ask him wat color the flowers should b and stuff

Private P	Five years? He is never going to marry you, hon, I am sorry. Move on.

duvalicious	one or two years isn't that long to wait. If he said he never wanted to marry you, then leave. If you break up and start dating someone else, you're still going to be waiting 1 or 2 years to get married...if you meet someone right away. And he might change his mind. My fiance said he wanted to wait a few years to have a baby but now he wants to have one right away. Anything can happen!