Should I let my husband spend a lot of time with another woman? Is he cheating?

V Welby	There is one way to be sure. There is every indication, even from an outsider's perspective, that he is unfaithful to you, but there is one way to be sure, to remove all doubt. Here's a website that will help: http://ziku.wordpress.com/common-problems/

anna34511	you know the answer to this. stop being ran over

Rebornie	Wake up... don't live in denial. He's cheating.

david c	God that's a lot of texts just to a friend. I wouldn't let my wife go out with another guy for an hour let alone all that time. So yes he must be cheating on you.Divorce him.

Shannon V	you two need to sit down and talk as dr phil would say get real i think deep down in your heart you know the answer to this question but don't want to admit it to yourself i would say just by your letter and description the boy is cheating !!! i think you need to move on you deserve so mucch better than this take care!!!

michelebaruch	You are not STUPID. You know the truth, you are in Denial. You love him so much, and you are letting him use you as a doormat. Get out of this so called marriage. It will end eventually anyway. Get emotional support before you do take the step, you will need it to stay the course. You will falter if you just do it on your own. You need someone their with you to keep reminding you not to let yourself be used, and abused emotionally.

chicadee13	That's really ridiculous,i mean the hours he's spending with her.IF they were "just friends" they should have no problem including you in their activities.This woman is married you say? Why can't your husband have a double date with his "bff's" husband.It DOES make sense.NOw the 1300 texts is just down right madness!!!What is he saying to his bff that he can't say out loud.If it was just a friendship goin on he probably wouldn't mind just talkin to her outloud,i feel that text messages are for when ur trying to have a private conversation but ur in the room with peeple u don't want to over hear you.Why did they have to leave the group?? With a group there really is no chance of funny buisness going on.With groups it feels like it's just friends gathering for a drink after work.But when you migrate to the whole "alone" thing it makes their friendship seen more intimate maybe beyond friends.If he really has nothing to hide he should INVITE you on his outtings!If you think that would be a bit awkward maybe this other chick should bring her "hubby" along.Well I wish you the best in your marriage.

lousy@love	He's cheating. Move on.

sli	You gave him an ultimatum and he totally dismissed it, leave the fool, he does not deserve you. He is cheating. You deserve better.

patricia	well i do think, personal experience

cowboydoc	You've gotta be kidding, you've just gotta be kidding? right? this is from a teen ager ? right. I'm sorry but, this is so hard to believe, I'm so sorry if I hurt you. Your trying to make us believe you give this rat time with another woman and you believe nothing is going on. Honey, they're laughing behind your back. They're making a fool out of you. I've had that happen to me. I didn't know it at the time. When it came out, that was the story I got. Then it was, "it only happen once" right, after all fall, winter, and spring, and summer" right, only once. Don't fall for that Honey, there is something going on all right and it's going on to their favor, not yours. Tell them to stop it right now or your going to see an attorney. And, then do it.

Brianna L	u should talk to him, talk to the women he be with, or think of some thing cause if that were me i would confrunt him or ask question

civic9497	Ok, first off, he told you that he would choose her over you? That says it all right there, whether he is "cheating" with her or not is not the issue at this point, the issue is that he is NOT respecting you at all. I went through something similar when I first got remarried to my husband, he had a friend who he spent WAY too much time with, but we talked about it and I even talked to her and they both told me that if I was uncomfortable even though there really was no reason to be, they would stop hanging out so much and they DID! Contrary to popular belief, I do believe that it IS possible for a man and a woman to be "just friends" but there is a line that should not be crossed and your hubby crossed it when you expressed your discomfort and he did what he wanted anyway and when you chose her over you. That is messed up and you need to follow through with your threat to leave him unless he stops seeing this woman. I wonder what her husband thinks of all this time that they are spending together. I feel for you, really. Hope it works out for you

jeopardy1	The answer is him choosing her over you and not a question of you being too controlling. I wonder how her husband feels?

anthony b	I think, ma bee there is a problem with you. have you become a boring person? no, HE IS CHEATING.

darknangelic77	I don't think your overreacting, or even being paranoid, this is a very drastic change in behavior. I mean how many female friends does your husband have that he spends this much time with? Not to mention that he chose her over your marriage. If your instincts tell you that he is cheating your probably right. However this doesn't mean that the relationship has to be over, alot of people recover from infidelty and so can you. It really depends on what your spouse is willing to commit to in order to continue to maintain the marriage. Maybe try counseling, but if he continues to refuse to stop seeing this woman, you definately have a problem, it will only work if both of you are willing to work at it...and you have to stand firm in your beliefs, and with how you feel. You shouldn't have to compromise in this situation, and if he can't stop seeing her then maybe it is time for you to leave. I know it's not easy, but I think alot of women tend to be too accomodating ( including myself) and compromise to make our spouses happy. You deserve better than this...stand your ground, because your worth it, and if he can't respect your feelings, then I would say you know where you stand...how you choose to handle it,no one can really say, you are the one invested emotionally and only you know what you can and can't handle. Not many women would have been as understanding and patient as you have been, now it's time for him to do the same...and he will if he truly wants to be with you, and you'll know it, if you don't already know.

usmchawkeye	if you suspect it most likely you are right.

Duckie	I hate to say it, but there are red flags popping up all over the place. I was seeing a guy who started spending time with a woman "friend"....next think I knew, he broke up with me and she left her husband for him. Your husband is not respecting you or your feelings by spending this much time with her. If it's true that they are only best friends, then he should have no problem with you being included whenever they get together.

sweetgranny06	it sounds like your husband is cheating its up to you what to do about it i wouldn't put up with it it would be her or me he'd have to choose

christina m	thats how it started with my ex, working late, working weekends, lunch "meetings" yeah its all BS. I m divorced now and he is living with her. believe me something is going on, she is stroking his ego in a way you don't, they are both talking about how un fulfilled they are and what their perfect relationships would be like. Yeah get your finances in line, have a plan, get some free divorce attorney advice (consultations) pay off any and all joint debt like credit cards. pay off your credit cards. get ready be prepared. then after your ready tell him to move out. watch how quick they become a couple. If she is still married go to lunch with her husband and see if he has the same fears, if so then you both can get ready, take it from me (get your finances in line and have a finacial plan, maybe take out an equity line on house with out your hubby knowing, so you'll have some cash, divoces can be expensive) good luck, and shhhhhhh prepare quietly, sorry this is happaning to you, it nearly killed me, but you will recover and be happier, no more going to bed alone wondering where you husband is, good luck

katiegirl	I would become best friends with her husband and screw his brains out. fair is fair.

å¥³æ€§ã‚¦ãƒ«ãƒãƒªãƒ³	I think he's cheating because there is no way they could be spending that much time together and nothing going on. If he trully loved you and wanted to stay together he would have respected your feelings about the situation. Before you think about trying to make it work you have to ask your self if you can forgive and if your not going to be able to let go then you need to let him go

willie taylor	no

Katie	do what he is doing to you... i would if i was married

Mike H	I don't think there is any way in hell that your husband is not cheating on you. I think it is time that you go and see an attorney and file those papers trying to get everything that you can. Sorry, this really is an unfortunate situation but the longer you allow this activity to continue the more your the one left looking like the fool here. He needs to go!

junkfoodjunkie1975	Well, if he wasn't already cheating, you can bet he is now. Maybe not with her, but maybe. I never cheated in my life until my first wife started constantly accusing me of it. same situation. I just always got along better with women than men, and once these women found out I was married, i was considered "safe", and heard a lot of things about what women do to men that I do not care to hear again. Make no mistake, you fouled up by nagging and especially by issuing an ultimatum. Start looking for a new husband. By the way, what is it with women and snooping?