Should I marry a man and believe that he will change for the better?

smile	he will never change just because he has a ring on his finger, why should he, if he cant change now when you are not married then he will never change

Beckers	Sorry, honey, but they don't change - unless it's for the worse. He is feeding you a line. Don't fall for it. Even if he "changes" temporarily to get you to marry him, it is rarely a lasting change. He is what he is. Think more of yourself and your children than that.

Girliegirl	His behavior will get worse after the marriage not better. Like you said, right now he knows he can only push so far before you will pack up and leave or kick him out, but after the marriage it would be a lot harder to leave or get him out. I would say stick to your guns and take it one step further and kick him to the curb. You can do better than a street bum into illegal activities.

Lone Papa	Lets get this straight - you live with a guy (wrong #1) with whom you have had two children (wrongs #2 & 3) who does illegal things (wrong#4) and is just a street person(wrong #5) who lies that he will change when married (wrong #6). That would certainly be enough wrongs for me to correct my ways, get this man out of your house where he has the ability to influence your children, and think about the many changes needed in your life. Having a man around just for the sake of having a mna around, is hardly wrth the price you are paying. Think about eternity and before whom you will one day stand.

Clueless???	i've never been in this situation but you can never teach anold dog new tricks.

noodle	do not marry this man!!!!! no one changes, and don't listen to his manipulative ways of saying if you marry him he will change!!! think of the poor role modelling he is providing for the children with this kind of behaviour. he is not bringing any positives into your life (is he?), do you and your kids a favour and end things now. you're right, marriage will only complicate things - and you are already imagining leaving him after marraige, so don't do it at all! i'm sorry you feel obligated to stay with him, i'm guessing he has been good at manipulating many situations, including how incapable you feel about leaving. good luck, and prayers your way.

doclakewrite	You said it.. he will not change.... even if you marry him. He wants to trap you..... I would go off on my own and let him be a good father if he can. Doing illegal things isn't okay and you sound like it is normal!!!!!! he will teach this bad behaviour to the children and also this will eventually affect your morals and standards...... I don't see what has to be figured out. this is a dead end relationship as far as I can see. You can hope till the cows come home, but this boy is not changing for anyone. He is set in his life and if you want to get in the gutter with him, remember you take your children with you and then you would deny them of a normal childhood. This behaviour can only lead to bad things and maybe jail for him(hopefully).. He is a criminal in his mind, heart and soul.... You are not..... simple decision here. What the heck are you staying around for... get moving girl and get your children away from him. You all deserve a good normal life.. you won't find it here.

hobo	People don't change because you want them to. Change comes from within

Flagger	WHA, WHA, WHAT ? ? ? ? ? You won't marry him but have two kids with him? He will change if you marry him? He's not the ideal mate, does drugs an is a street person, and yet he is the father of your children? Honey get married. You deserve each other.

an88mikewife	If he isnt willing to change NOW for you and your children, what makes you think he will change suddenly because of a ring on his finger and a piece of paper? He wont change. So I suggest either you accept him for who is he right now, or get out now. It is best to not try to change a man to suit your needs, but rather find a man who already does. They arent children, they arent pets that need to be trained.

Brandie J	If he is doing illegal things now he is putting you and your two children at risk. Being married will not change things and may make him less inclined to give up what he is doing because legally it will make it more difficult for you to walk away. You should reconsider your relationship with him period .

Lisa M.	He is not going to change because of marriage. Infact, no man changes after marriage. If he was serious about your relationship and about changing his ways, you would have seen a change in him already. Tell him you need to see him change now. If he refuses then move on with your life. Good luck.

sherry	No never thing that he is going to change after u r married.Wid 2 kids he didnt change ,do u really thinking he is going to change 4 better?? After marriage gud ppl change to bad n he is allready a junk!Take care of ur kids. U r d only support.Let time pass n c ,may b when he will grow more older he will understand his defecencies.

â™¥DRVâ™¥	No! Don't marry him! He'll get worse!

stephen k	No, for this is as good as it gets

misse	you need to walk away from this relationship. tell him you love and support him but until he straightens up his life you are not willing to marry him. its called tough love. why should he change when your putting up with it now. it is not a good idea to start a family with someone who is unstable and not committed to you. he obviously loves his street life or he would be able to walk away from it. you can not change people they have to want to change. be a mom and start over. one day you will meet someone who will be good to you and the children.

chelseylauren2007	Tell him to show you he can change and then you will marry him. He has to prove himself to you.

michelle	Trust me things wont get better they will only get worse. If he does illegal things he will most likely end up in jail. I understand that you have kids together but, you have to think about your kids and what is best for them.

satin3904	Move on.

shdwtalker2002	Women marry men expecting them to change and they never do. Men marry women expecting them not to change and they always do. My wife hates it when I quote that old saying to her, but we've been married for 20 years.

DTap	guys dont change

idontloveyoufup	Never marry a project. Don't marry for the man you want him to be. Marry him for who he already is. If he is not that person, decide how long you will give him to be that person.

daljack -a girl	Is he the same person he was when you met him? If so he's not going to change and what he's doing can put you and your children in danger. Let him be a father if he wants but I would never marry him or continue the relationship. Also I would be careful when the children were with him......just a thought.

Ashley_Nicole	NEVER MARRY A MAN IF YOU HOPE HE WILL CHANGE LATER..... Because he won't change. I promise you, he will never change, if you can't accept someone flaws and all, you don't need to be married!

madsmaha55	THAT WOULD BE A NO!!!!!

bluelitttt	tell him to change first then you will marry him after you see the change

Samantha	You are not even married and have kids.I bet you wont choose mine as a best answer.If you do i'l accept i lost.