Should I marry my best friend?

Kind of a long story. I have known my best friend for eight years. He has always told me he loved me and has always been there when my heart has been broken or when the chips were down for me or if I ever needed anything. He's like a perfect gentleman. Never tried to put moves on me or anything although he has always wanted me. We can talk to each other about anything in the world, we have met each others families, we have gone on trips together, went to comedy shows and other fun events, and I genuinely enjoy spending time with him. I always did. We have a great relationship. The only thing is that I am not physically attracted to him. He's a gorgeous guy but I was never physically attracted to him.

I dated a guy for many years who I was madly in love with. I gave up everything for him, I lost everything for him, he treated me poorly, and he ended up leaving me for another woman and marrying her. Needless to say I was heart broken. Crushed is more like it as I had dreams of marrying this person and raising our family together.

Once again my best friend was there to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart and with time, patience, and his support, I started feeling a little better. My best friend asked me to marry him several times since I have been apart from my ex boyfriend. We don't make love but I am still considering this and so is he. I mean, I do love him as my very best friend, but I'm not physically attracted to him like a lover. He is in his late twenties and I know he is not going to be happy without his wife making love to him. They say you should always marry your best friend though so I dont' know what to do. I keep thinking maybe I can be happy and make it work. Maybe I will become physically attracted to him. I know I can be faithful and I would love to be married, but I don't want to do this just because my ex broke my heart and robbed me of my dreams either. But then again, I don't want to miss the opportunity of spending my life with someone whom I do know loves me and I am good friends with and so forth and so on. I'm so confused. We have been talking about doing it and he seems so excited. I have to say that it feels great to be wanted in such a way and to have this person actually want to spend the rest of his life with me. But is this wrong to do because of the lack of physical attraction?

just julie	Well I tried that and it didn't work. I would not recommend it. Keep him as a good friend. It sounds like you need one. If you break his heart you might lose him forever. Plus not being attracted to him after knowing him so long is an indicator that it would not work out.

salientknight	There is a chance you could become attracted to him over time, but if you are talking about the rest you better be sure that the compromises you are making now wont be something you resent in the future. I am sure that he is great and feels safe, but don't marry him just because its an option. That wont be fair to either of you. If he is really the one for you, try dating first and see how that works out.

Tiny	There is an old saying that for a marriage to work you have to be friends first. This is important because many marriages fail when one partner wants the other to change, even just a little bit, and think that because the other person did not change for them that things will not work out. Friends tend to give the other the benefit here, and can make a relationship work in situations where other tend to become critical. Marrying your best friend is just a simple way of broadening the relationship you have with them. It's the next logical step, and something that you yourself should decide to act on.

Thallie	Wow. What a tough position to be in. The only thing I can do is share an anecdote of my own to see if it will help you. I met my best friend when I was thirteen at my friend's birthday party, and we hit it off right away. Soon, he, I, and my other dearest friend were spending all of our time together. Our parents joked that we were like the Three Musketeers. He and I grew very close. For a long time, I thought I might be in love with him. He made me smile a lot, after all, and I enjoyed being around him. He was always there if I needed a pick-me-up and always knew just how to surprise me. I toyed with the idea of dating him as we got older, but decided to let him make the first move. I didn't want to mess up our friendship. I think I knew, deep down, that he loved me as more than a friend. But at the same time, I didn't want to take that risk. And then, I saw my current fiance. I can only describe it as getting hit in the face with a pillowcase of bricks. I was at a figure skating competition, sizing up some of the other skaters, when I looked across the ice and there he was. My other dearest friend, the one I mentioned earlier, was there, and still laughs about how dazed I was. It was like someone had shone a spotlight and blinded me to everyone but him. It didn't occur to me then, but I instantly knew what love was, and had no doubts that I had ever been in love with anyone else. I started to talk to the amazing skater boy, and we very quickly fell in love. I was, of course, thrilled to call my best friend and tell him all about it. My best friend, on the other hand, was not so happy. He told me I was being stupid, that my new boyfriend would break my heart. I told him this over coffee, and he took my hands in his and told me he loved me with tears in his eyes. I've never been so heartbroken in my life as I was in that moment, because I realized that, no matter how much he loved me, I couldn't love him back in that way, and I wouldn't ever be able to. We didn't speak for months after that. I told him he could either be happy that I was happy, or leave me alone, so he did. After that long time, we finally reconciled. I think he still loves me, but he was brave enough to let me go, and I'll never be able to thank him enough for that. The point of the story is... it's your choice, really. Your friend sounds amazing, and I hold no doubt that he will treat you like a princess and make you very, very happy. I feel that he would take care of you, and that you could always count on him. But I would fear that you would always have those what if moments, and that you might even find Mr. Perfect after you've already been married. I also worry that your friend would always feel inadequate, and that you had settled for him. That wouldn't be fair to either of you, nor to any children you might bring into the world. I'm so sorry you're in such a hard place. I wish you all the best and I'm sure you'll be able to get through this.

notyochic	i married my bff a n we have been married for 7 years:)

Katie H	think about it it might b a fling

Andrea =)	yea no dont do it

BrianaW	you should marry him

Absolute	why not

Lucie D	yes. no doubt in my mind.

Luis	only marry him if you love him

Nita R	I married my best friend! We've been friends since junior high. We started dating in college and have been married for 6 months. We had the attraction in college and ever since. If there's no attraction, don't do it. You'll regret it in the end. Maybe you should wait longer to see if this evolves into something more. When my husband and I first dated, I wasn't sure if I was attracted to him romantically or because he is a great person. It developed quickly and I'm thankful that we did not rush anything.

haileysheckler	yes but if u guys r dating and breakup it will ruin your best friend relationship

Meg B	You should! It's so romantic!!

u no u wanna	Of Course If You Love Him As Much As You Say You Do Then Get Married!!! ;) Good Luck xxx

naomi b	if it goes two wyas then heck yeh!

DrowsyJay	That's a long one. i didn't read but, i will say.....Your partner in life should be your best friend.

john a	You should try Xanax

madi_sangre	no no no dont do that!

answer my question	ooohohohohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Josh K	I really don't know I guess he loves you, depends on how you put physical attraction.

.	If you're not in that place then don't get married. Don't just marry somebody because it is convenient. You'll regret it later

greg m	depends how good her bjs are. if she gives half asses bjs then i'd say no. if they are consistenly about the 50 percentile then go for it.

kad1190	If you're on Yahoo! Answers asking if you should marry someone, chances are you probably shouldn't marry them. It sounds like you may regret it later.

Mrs Libra	If your not physically attracted to him then dont marry him cause physical attraction is important in a marriage.

Drill ANWR	If you marry him, you will be settling. He is your friend. Don't settle. You will just divorce in the future and you won't have a husband or a friend.

Loved	He seems like a great friend, and a good person, it's not right to mary him if you don't love him that way, it just can't end well.

brandon k	Do not marry somebody to whom you are not physically attracted. Would you want to be married to someone who didn't find you attractive? He deserves better and so do you.