Should I permit my ex-wife who had cheated me before to see our son?

blondecarpenter@sbcglobal.net	The sad fact is no matter how hurt and angry you are she is still the boy's mother.You have to do what is best for HIM putting your hurt feelings aside.That is the hardest part of being a Dad.Try to work something out with her so that they spend some time together. Kids know who loves them,and he knows that you will always be there for him,spending time with HER will show him that it wasn't his fault that she left.And KNOWING that it wasn't something he did,but something wrong with her will make him feel better about himself. Like it or not she dose have rights and you really DO NOT want a judge and laweres getting involved.

shonnie	That's still your son's mom, but if it were me i would not let her into my home to see my son. We would have to meet some place else for her to visit with my son.

tallerfella	Not allowing her to see her son will only hurt him. Be an adult and allow the visitation. If you are worried that she may cause some harm to the boy, petition the court's for supervised visits. Good Luck

jeter2	I wouldn't even think about getting back with her. But yes I would let her see her son. Not along of course! After what she has done I would be scared she would take off with him. Let her see him but with supervision. I you try to keep your son away from her now (that is if he wants to see her) your son will hate you for it in the future. some people can be the crappiest parents but some times small children do not know, see or understand that. They just know that they are there parents and they love them. You have to let your son figure that out for himself. Good luck!

New Rider of the purple sage	well, he is her kid as well as yours, so she does have some right to see him. Just remember, most women cheat and lie, so don't take it personally.

aangie781	just because you and her are not on good terms dosent give you the right to keep her son away from her.Are you trying to hurt him more than he already has been.She has a right to be with her son she carried him 9 months gave birth to him and cared for him all these years.I do agree that cheating on you was very wrong and im sorry for that but the question is about your son.She has the right to see him.And i think a visitation or custody agreement needs to be made up.That child has a right to a mother and a father.

Deb	Yes, it is important for her to be in contact with your son. It is important for his well being and while he is growing up. He might hold it against you when he gets older if he finds out you did not let her be involved in his life. If you need to feel secure about it, go to the courts and work something out legally so she can not take him from you, good luck

spirited	I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's a tough thing and you feel honest resentments. That's understandable. Sounds like she made a mistake... but that doesn't necessarily make her bad person and certainly not a bad mother... just a flawed human being like most of us. I think you should try to rise above your anger and do the right thing... allow her to see her son. Not for her, but for him. Your heart will heal in time, but not if you hold tight to your resentment.

hopscothchbunnies	i know this is painful for you. i'm sorry. however, she did not cheat on her son. she is still his mother. your son will be a better person if he has a relationship w/his mother and receives support from both parents. i'm sorry that your wife disrespected herself & her marriage, but you do not have to stoop down to her level! the only reason the relationship should be ruptured between a parent & child, is if that parent puts the child in danger. you must not use your son to punish her. he will one day resent you!

Drackule@yahoo.com	Na it would be wrong to your son to keep him away from his mother, why punish him? he didnt do anything wrong. Let him be with his mother.

Stacy K	Your relationship with your ex has nothing to do with the mother/child relationship. Stop being bitter and grow up your son still needs his Mom. Sorry to be so harsh but you need to face the truth without the candy coating. Hope you two work can be at least friends for your son's sake, best of luck!

not racing	She sounds like a moron! but she is still the mother of your son. What do the divorce papers say? Joint custody or do you have sole custody? Then go from there. I'd let her see your son as long as its supervised with you or another family member. DO NOT inflict your opinions of your ex wife unto your child! He doesn't deserve that. Good luck!

Purrr	She should be b ***h smacked for cheating on you, but keeping her child from her is not the solution to that. If you have proof that she's an unfit mother, then you have viable cause for keeping your son away from her. If not, then No.

jiminycricket	Unless the non-custodial parent is a physical danger to the child, one should never prevent them from seeing the child. The child will grow up with resentment towards the custodial parent. And never talk negative about the non-custodial parent. Same reason. Start off with limited visits. Maybe a few hours every other Saturday. See how that goes and then work from there. This will benefit your son and later your relationship with him. As he gets older, he will figure out for himself what kind of person his mom is on his own and will be better for having that opportunity. It is very hard, but try not to let your personal hang-ups with your ex affect your son's relationship with his mom. This will only come back to bite you in the butt later on.

BUBBLES	Yes, it's important for you son to have contact with his mother, even if she is an evil *****. He needs to learn some of his social behaviors like gender and role from her. It's important in a child development to have both parents in their lives to form a complete personality and social structure. I know it's hard because you have to worry about his moral development as well, but in today's age divorce is very common and he doesn't need to know the details.

rachael	PUT your FEELINGS aside! It's not about you... it's about your son. Be honest..... was she a good mother? Chances are, apart from the adultry, she was...... DO NOT take her son away from her. Alienating your son from her will only make things worse, I know you're hurting, but you should never punish anyone (guy or girl) for something they did to you by not letting them see their child. Oh, and If you are worried or think she could take your son and move, then make sure you get a custody order in place first.

?	That is still his mother. I understand that she's has made a bad decision, but don't let your feelings judge her for life... Just be an adult about the situation, because she will eventually learn what she's lost. Remember that the child is the the only one who will suffer.

Ithinkiknow	it is her right to see her son

Ray	Try a supervised visit and see if that works out. If not, at least no harm was done.

hsarora47	yes, plz b generous 2 a girl u once loved. forgiveness is ur biggest reward, amd think of ur child. he will admire u this and love u all the more. and dont forget love is in GIVING only without asking for anything in return.

hbennett76	Depending on the state you live in, it won't really matter whether you want her to or not. She is the parent and therefore has rights to her child. I would allow it only because at least if you start now you can have more control over it than if she takes you to court. Just my opinion, tho.

sue66	no u shouldnt!!where is she for the past 3 mos??y now then she realize she had a son???

mm W	his cheating has nothing to do with you son

bchboy_998	Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo man, never let that woman near ur kid, she's so immoral, after 7 yrs, she's disgusting!!

Ruban	she aint worth a second chnace ...dump her

dorazioyoman6	depends on custody agreement

Big B	no, hide him in your closet.