Should I tell my spouse I am thinking about cheating on him?

Green Eyed Angel	why sink to his level? either be faithful or leave...this getting him back crap is childish

Elizabeth G	ever heard of two wrongs don't make a right?? if u still can't get over it then leave him.. i know it hurts belive me i'm going though it but i wouldn't go that low...

Sondra	Did he check with you first before he cheated? Did I hear NO? hmmm. ok then.

dunno321321	nothing good comes out of cheating cause it hurts relationships and if you have kids don't get me started

scootypuff	not unless you want to further compromise your relationship tell him your feeling instead and talk about it

stanleys_2001	I think you're square. If he accused you of cheating, and you haven't... Go ahead - then you're square.

gapeaches1982	Don't stoop to his level...if you want to be with someone else go be with them and don't cheat..it's so wrong even if you only want to be with someone once!

Stephanie S	So cheating is OK as long as you're doing it? Two wrongs make one right? Sounds like you are made for each other.

Fergy	Just cheat and tell him later. Then you both can be considered CHEATERS. Cool huh? By the way: It won't take away your hurt I don't think.

joan g	why do people do that effing tit for tat ** ugh its annoying just because he cheated doesnt mean you do the same dumb *!

Puma	Cheating is grounds for divorce. You should have divorced him. That way, you would have saved yourself alot of pain. Now you are living with him knowing what he did.

genetomas82	wow... if he cheated on you, you should divorce him or go to marriage counseling. not cheat back.... idk.. if you want to cheat you best not tell him because he might get an insane moment and kill you in your sleep. just a thought good luck ;)

Piper	If you are really thinking that then leave. You were hurt when he did it but now you want to do it back? Makes it just as wrong, if not worse, if you do it now.

cyn	why would u want to do a thing like that?? what would u get out of being with another for one night?? instead of thinking of getting back on ur busband or w.e u should think of ways to get over it and fix it together/

mimzy	Sorry, but two wrongs don't make a right. Just because he cheated, why bring yourself down to that level? You are hurt by what he did and doesn't sound like you are trying to work through this. It only gets worse.

letterstoheather	Maybe you could rethink this. If you don't trust him and can't get over his cheating, cheating on him isn't going to change things. It might just make you more of an emotional mess. Have you ever considered therapy or marriage counseling.

Bernieg	ok leave him if its to hard but don't let yourself down by cheating it not going to mount to a hill of beans 2 wrongs do not make it right it only hurt you more leave with a clean slate really consider what your doing regrets i have but a few

Jane	No don't tell him, just finish it and then see where you go from there. His cheating was wrong, but so would you be if you did it too. No point in using this as an excuse to get back at him. Just go if your so hurt.

bandaid_46	You should grow up and stop acting like an idiot. Tit for tat never solves anything - only makes it worse. If you don't want to leave you husband, then stop this nonsense and work things out with him. OR - just divorce him and go have your other guys. I hope that when you read your question online, you will see how silly you are being.

Kiana	why would you tell him you are going to cheat on him. If you are thinking about it you obviously don't like this guy or he doesn't treat you well, so either separate or divorce from him or sit down with him and tell him that he is about to lose you if he doesn't shape up.

Rosa J	You must forgive and forget. Obviously, you haven't....so why don't you just break up with him...hon? Be the bigger person. Don't cheat. Men can do this and it's seen as sewing his oats. Women do this and it is seen as being a sleezy slimy sl... Well you know. Just break up and spend some time apart and see if he's really the one for you.

Lora	kay, clearly you're not happy..you can't move on from something thats stttill bothering you..it's probably going to bother you continuously so, really - just "take a break" if you guys still are interested and miss eachother ect after, go for it and try again but as it is now, it's not working for you

Mean Mommy	What would you hope to accomplish by telling him? Do you want him to beg you not to do it? Do you want him to get angry and beat you up or kill you? Are you trying to punish him? If things are that far gone, you need to get out of the relationship. Then you can be with other guys and have a clear conscience.

RACHEL D	i don't think you should cheat on him. you said you a still hurt so I dont think you are thinking straight about this. You need to give yourself more time to think about what he has done and if you can forgive him and if you can trust him again. If you can't trust him again you need to end the relationship before thinking of being with anyone else. You don't need to tell him anything yet just think some more and give yourself time.

I love my family!	You need to take some responsibility because you decided to stay in the marriage and work things out. Two wrongs don't make anyone right or even. So you think that if you cheat on him you will be sqaure or even. It would make you no better than him then you could not be mad at him for any reason because you would be just as bad as him. If you decide to stay and work at it then you must get over this. Forgive him, not forget and move on with your marriage. When you had the chance to move on you chose not too. How can you say he hurt you and that you love him but want to be with another man for once. Don't you see the hypocracy in that statement alone? Work at your marriage and communicate with your husband before this goes any further my dear. Don't harbor pain it makes you do stupid and unforgiveable things. Talk to him and clear the air and work on your marriage.

ckbrown867	Yes, but i think you should probably look into getting an divorce if you have to cheat. Just because your spouse cheated on you does not mean you should cheat on him. I think you should sit down and talk to your spouse let him know how you feel and that you been thinking about cheating on him. If there is a chance that you too can work this out then don't cheat its only going to hurt you more. Being with another guy is not going to solve your problems its only going to make it worse. listen to your heart but don't let your heart control your mind.

Brittani B	I've been there =( Right now, you are probably feeling as though someone has dug your heart out with a spoon, punched you in the stomach, stabbed you in the back, or even all three. Finding out your spouse has cheated makes you feel so many strong emotions all at the same time, anger, denial, grief, devastation, shock, sadness, helpless, depression, resentment, disgust, maybe even panic, and yes REVENGE... IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT I mean sure, you have done some things wrong in your relationship, but you didn't force your spouse to cheat, HE CHOSE IT. Wanting to "Settle the score" is a natural reaction that only leads to regret. It may feel great at the time, but when your emotions are under control and you look back on it, you'll realize that by "settling the score" makes you just as horrible of a spouse as he is... You're better then that!!! If you can't forgive him, it's not wrong on your part, nothing matters except your happiness... Leave him, find someone that you trust and makes you happy... Don't stoop to his level, he's not worth committing adultery... Have you tried marriage counseling? Sometimes that helps... I wasn't able to trust again, I had to leave my husband. Now three years later, I'm with my prince charming... That's right, I MARRIED AGAIN! I can TRUST! I'm HAPPY! I LOVE MY LIFE! I hope you can find your answers so you can also be happy again... Good luck and best wishes...

Doug Steponin	First of all what do you want as an OUTCOME? Most people focus on acting and reacting without any thought about what result they would like? What result would you like from your cheating? Do you really want to be with another guy just once? Are you trying to "get back" at him? Your anger over his affair is justified. What you DO with your anger is up to you. Many people use it as an excuse to run away, divorce and not even broach the subject of why the affair happened in the first place. There is always deep seated reasons and plenty of communication break downs that are the root cause of the affair. An affair isn't the reason people divorce....an affair is the RESULT of a lack of Communication that causes a person to go outside their marriage in order to feel love, connection, lust, power, or intimacy. What do you want? If you want a fulfilling relationship, check resources listed. If you want the excitement of an affair, go have one. If you want the excitement of an affair WITHOUT the consequences of guilt, disease, shame and pain, have an affair WITH your husband!

Kristy	I think you should tell him that you are thinking about cheating. Not to hurt him, but just letting him know that you are so unsatisfied with him that you feel you need to go elsewhere. This will give him the message that you are not happy and that he needs to step up his game if he wants to keep you. Also, 2 wrongs don't make a right and could back fire on you in divorce court, if it comes to that. You would want to appear to be an angel in court and that you have done nothing wrong so that you can get the best deal possible if your marriage ends up that way. Good luck to you !!