Should a wife have the password to her husband's email if he is still in contact with his former mistress?

thegnomeofwrath	No, the wife should leave the husband, plain and simple. I'm sorry for what you're going through, it must be awful. Still, having the password to his email, and being able to check on him will only serve as a painful reminder that the man you love can no longer be trusted. If he really wanted to make things work, he'd have cut ties with the mistress from the get go. He didn't, so it doesn't sound like he's willing to put in his part to make amends.

Euphoria*	I really don't think the husband should be in contact with the former mistress in the first place, unless the wife knows about it. If she doesn't, it just shows that the husband might have something still going on with the former mistress or has something to hide and I'm guessing that giving her the password would definitely result in a huge blow out. If the husband gives the wife the password at all, the wife should know that the husband is still in contact with the former mistress. Honesty is key to any relationship if you value it...

billies35	I had to jump in and answer this one as well. I am in total agreement with most everyone else here. Honey he is still seeing this woman. He still meets with her only difference now is he has your permission to cheat. I do not buy for one second they are "only" friends. He cheated. You must have forgiven him fully, but he is still hiding plenty from you. Its time you give the ulimate choice for him. Its either me or her and the two of you seek marriage counseling. If it were me.. I would kick him out of the house or leave. If its a money issue go home. Do something, but do not sleep with your husband knowing full well he is still sleeping around on you.

makeloans2	Screw the email access, you should be telling him to stop seeing his ex-mistress or whatever she is because it's impacting your marriage!!!! Why should he have this luxury??? I'd tell him to drop her, friends or not, if he wanted to keep ME. And then stick to it. Email, my a** !!!

Cheri >^.^<	@@@ You don't need to access his e-mail, you already know the answers to your questions. You are a very understanding and forgiving person to begin with, your husband is taking advantage of that! He thinks his behavior is acceptable and that you are gullible to believe anything to keep him. He will not stop, there are many reasons a person cheats on a spouse. You deserve better. Sometimes divorce isn't always the answer, especially if you have children. Demand that he stop seeing her completely, if he refuses then you KNOW and you need to get out!!

Readytomoveon	LOL y is he still in contact w/ his former mistress if he's married? Does this mean he is unhappy and wishes he wasn't married?? Why sneak around? Sorry I answered ur question with a question....stop talkin to the former mistress...that's my answer

Debbie	Marriage is hard enough without added burdens. If you and your husband are to stay together then he has to realize that you are his best friend. You are there when all the crap is going down in life, the good times and the bad. This is a real hard one cause you have to be tough this time or it will just go on and on. His friendship with this girl will have to end if you are to get your marriage back on track. Trust is very hard to get back once it is broken. If he wants you and this marriage then he is just going to have to understand. If you give in this time he will just do it again. I'm really sad for you as this is all very hurtful. Especially when you want to love and trust someone. He should not have a problem giving you his password if he is genuine about working things with you. Don't become a door mat to him. Definitely seek counselling if you want this marriage to work.

mzaun	I see several problems... 1) If he is still in contact with a mistress that would seem to be an issue. 2) If there is no trust in the marriage then that is an issue. Sounds like the two should go to counseling....

Princess_Baby_Bird	wow, if this "Friendship" is so important, and deeply rooted, you would think they would both recognize that they need to step back for a while until you two get your marriage back in track, if that is what he wants to do. it sounds like he has his cake and is eating it too. If they are that good of friends, then they should know that stepping back would not ruin their friendship. I was best friends with a guy years ago. I met him while he and his wife were actively seeking a divorce, and his wife was living with her new boyfriend. We met, became friends, and began dating. Eventually they wanted to work things out, and try their marriage again. After several difficult years of he and I attempting to remain friends, she did not trust him with us, and he eventually had to make a choice. He chose his family over our friendship, and I respect that. I respected that then, and now. I miss my friend, but I know it was the right decision. And in time I found my "one", and I know things worked out for the best, even though it was hard on all of us. Really, bowing out was the only "right" thing to do when you're talking about the bonds of marriage versus a male and female friendship involving a dating relationship. And if he won't give you the password to his email, then he is hiding something....good radar on that one. He needs to EARN his privacy...he has lied and cheated. Good luck.

Debbie mom	Screw email.....leave.

WORKING OLDER SMARTER BLONDE	he will not give you his email and you know why. he is a cheat and he is now cheating on you and will always cheat on you in the future. why do you set there and take it. go see a laywer and get a divorce. you should have more self respect for yourself. do not live another day suffering this kind of emotional abuse. go get legal help and counseling for a better self concept. you are behaving like a mat to wipe his feet on. why sweetie are you going along with this? where is your own self respect. hubby knows he can continue doing this and you set there and cry.

Sassy Cassie	You absolutely have a right to know his password to his email in a marriage there should not be any secrets and no hiding. Being from a broken marriage myself (spouse was cheating with a girl he met online) I would say he doesn't need to be friends with her either

mrs legend	I don't think that's what you really want. I know it's not what I would want. I'm not a jealous person but I'm no dummy either. I would want that friendship to be a done deal.You should be your husband's really close friend.

kystarlyte_kystarlight	Why are you still there? Once a cheater always a cheater. He's lying to you. You don't need his password, you need a lawyer! Get out and get a divorce! Let her have him. He'll do her the same way. You lose them like you get them.

kunamom	YES, sweetie, are you crazy or what why are you letting this go on in front of you. and basically saying to him go ahead you got my blessing.come on your not that naive, he hasn't changed this affair at all, and he wont,not as long as your letting him get away with it, meet her, talk to her, etc... wake up baby, i know my husband dd the same thing alot, don't be stupid and fall for this trick...if you need to talk email me. good luck. cindy

IloveMaryKay	What are you doing girl??! Get the hell away from that loser! He obviously thinks he can play the field because you let him do it! You can whine and cry about it, demand he stop, but you don't leave him so why should he? He's having too much fun! You need to work on your self esteem.

verazue	if he keeps this thing going with his supposedly best friend, then you should ask yourself how much does this man actually love you... he can't just go on hurting you! So far he has done more for this other woman than for you! I know it can be painful to end a marriage, but it is more painful to keep living a lie... ah, and if he doesn't want you to have his password it's because there's still something fishy going on!!!

mayrad	He shouldnt be talking to her atleast over you. He should respect your feelings they are justified that was his mistress, I think he is still cheating on you why else would he not want you to meet.

.	First of all, no you shouldn't have his password. Email, like a cell phone, is private. Secondly, I'd smash his head in with a frying pan if he were talking to old girlfriends through email.

lwheavenlyangel	What the H*** are you still doing there? Why haven't you left him? Why are you allowing this type of behavior from your husband? Just because they were good friends before the affair doesn't mean that they should remain friends after. It would be awkward for them to remain friends. I know for a fact that the relationship between the two of them is not over. I wouldn't wait for him to allow me to go on one of their meetings because I would sit in his car, and if he got in to go, I wouldn't budge. You are the wife, she is the mistress, why are you allowing this to happen to you. It's sort of if you are fine with it because he still sees her and you know about it. Get your self-esteem back and put your foot down and clean house. Don't let him get away with this type of behavior.

lol_des	Why would you want to be his wife if he is in contact with his mistress.....BTW he should cancel his email and you should get a new joint one... My moral is if he can't be trusted he can't b trusted.

mjbcmomma	WHY cant you demand that he doesn't see her anymore????? If he really means what he said then yeah you should have it. As for her being his best friend>> Tell him to find a new one.

Jo-Jo	sounds like you should have dropped him (sorry)

david	The best thing to do is to tell him its only fair that you have each others passwords. That way whats good for the goose is good for the gander. Sounds like you have more problems than an email password here. Wake up and smell the coffee

anthentherwasi	no you using the contact with a former mistress as an excuse to spy i you dont trust him leave

bountyhunter	hey ! sweetheart he's doing the ex ......so ! send me and email will get Evan .

Matt	Yes, if you want more problems