Should my wife keep pictures of her ex husband?

867-5309 "Jenny"	Are you the man of the house or a mouse? Have her box the crap up and send it to the kids dad. is he even still in the little girls life? If not throw that crap out if so give it to him to keep for the kid...

RSJ	I'm sorry that you have a problem with that- But that person is a part of her life since they share a child. I donâ€™t see anything wrong with her keeping the pictures. More than likely, the daughter will really appreciate those. I doubt that your wife will be poring over those on a regular basis. Theyâ€™ll just go in a box and be out of sight. Try to not take it personally.

I Bent My Wookie	Don't make her try to erase or deny her past. It's still a part of her and her daughter lives. It's best to let it be what it is. Just be there for her and your new daughter.

Nikki	Since she has a child with him, I can understand why she would want to keep them for the child. I see how this could make you uncomfortable or jealous but really it's for the child. I am divorced and have two children, although I am not in a relationship, I am keeping our photos regardless. Once your relationship is over, it's over, but it's nice for the kids to see "where they came from" so to speak. I would say as long as she keeps them put up (or is sharing them with her daughter), don't make a big deal about it. When her daughter gets much older and responsible ,she can give them to her.

blueridgeliving	I still have pictures of the guy I was with 20 years ago and I wouldn't spit on him if he was on fire. Women are like that. Don't make a problem where there isn't a problem. And she's right, the child deserves to see them.

Phurface	Was she truly happy with him? She was with him how long? 9 months of the child's life? How long were they together before the child came along? To want her to only have pictures of you and her is selfish. Have you been married before? Girlfriends? Do you still have any old pictures showing old g/f's?

ea1825	I too have an ex husband. We were married for 3yrs and had a daughter together. After the divorce, I did keep the pictures. Not for me but for our daughter to have. Its a part of her life even though her dad and I are no longer together. I remarried over a year ago and my husband agreed that they should be kept for her. Set your feelings aside. Its your soon to be step daughters life and it will always be her life. Put them all in a box and place them in her bed room closet. You'll never see them but they are there for her. Start a new box or portfolio with you and your soon to be new family. This too will be just as important to her. Again, its her life in those pictures. Good luck

kj	She's with you, she's not with him. They have a child together, who might want those things one of these days. I've been married to my husband for 27 years. I still have a few pictures of my ex around.......they are stuck back in old photo albums. He was part of my life at one time.

*____ //_ \\_____*	Don't be so sensitive about it... it is not right BUT keep it in mind that he was her HUBBY not just one of her boyfriend.. she has to have these pictures to show them to her daughter if her daughter asks her who is my father, where is ur wedding pictures ...just undrestand it and don't ruin the relationship becoz of a very small issue :) wish u and you wife the best of luck

charlesjerrell	NOooooooooooooooooo

Meryl	Let it go. This boils down to self confidence, realize she's with you for a reason. she's marrying you for a reason,and she divorced him for a reason. It's fine to voice your feelings but you have to understand they have a child together and those pictures will mean something to her child...and keeping these pictures for the child is nice. It means she wants to share that with the child. It means she doesn't loath the man and that is extremely important nothing screws up a kid faster than their parents trying to divide the child between the two. They were together 9 months so you knew when you got into this she had a child, it's part of the territory. I can see where it might be hard but you'll eventually get over it, do you really want to be the reason when the kid starts asking for photos of their dad that mom had to get rid of them. that sounds as bad as it is. just let it be.

Thomas	these pictures are for her daughter and you should respect that move on. Let put this shoes on your foot for a minute, would you keep pictures of your ex wife for your child? If you have a problem with her keeping picture for her daughter, then you shouldn't be marring this woman. These pictures of her past make you feel that insecure you have a choice here, grow up or break up. That is your only option!

Jodie B	To be honest, a picture is worth a million words. You could never go back in time to take those moments and re-live them. She doesn't keep those pictures just because of feelings she keeps them for "what if's" For instance: What if something happened to him and he moved away or somethiing and they would never see one another again. A picture would still be there to remind them of what he looked like. I still keep pictures of X-b/f and other things, but I keep them in a box hidden away. More then likely I wont ever search for those pictures but it's always too look back on your past and know how happy you are in the future with the one you've got. She doesn't keep those pictures for any reason at all she keeps them as memories.

Latefortea	That man was very important in her life and even if she has moved on, it is okay to keep his pictures. Her child would be deprived if she didn't know who Daddy was, and that her mom and him were happy at one point. The decision for her to keep those pictures is a very mature, wonderful, caring motherly thing to do. Keeping pictures doesn't mean she still cares for him, but it means that she respects and loves her daughter, and respects her past. You can't change her past, and it would be wrong of you to hurt her daughter by making her get rid of those pictures. It also shows insecurity on your part, for not wanting her to have them, and that's a big turn off for women, unless you want to be divorced too, I suggest you let the woman do what she feels is right for her and her daughter.

happygirl	Yeah, everyone is being pretty hard on you, but I have to agree with most of the population, let her keep the photos. I have all of my ex-husbands photos, yes, for my daughter. She even has an 8X10 of her Dad in her room on her night stand. It was there before my new man came along and I am not going to ask her to remove it. It will be okay, just let it be.

LadyAmerican	That was her past and her memories. she should be allowed to keep them. Don't be jealous or over protective. That was her life before she met you. She has to right to keep them for herself aswell as her child. If she didn't want to spend her life with you know she would still be with her ex. So chill out and don't drown her and tell her what she can or can't have.

Poppet	You need to get over it. They have a child and that child deserves to see what the pictures contain.

Paula D	Yes. Its a memory. sometimes when you look at a pic.. it can take you back to what it used to be. he is the dad of her FIRST child && he is her first love. yes she needs to have the picutres. if shes with YOU now though... who really won? plus. ever hear the saying:: "Pictures never change, even if the PEOPLE <<inside>> them DO" it means that you want to keep the picture as a reminder. her ex obviously changed for the worst. but it doesnt mean she doesnt still love him. she loves you!

sunflower	i think your right that she should put them away and show her daughter them from time to time or she should put some pictures in her room so were is she going to put your wedding photes i dont think she would like it if the shoe was on the other foot or is she over her ex good luck

jackielafemme	DonÂ´t go ahead with that marriage without trusting her. She is right,,,Maybe in some more years she is going to throw all those pics..away. At the moment she is thinking in their baby,, You (sorry to tell you) have not much to do with that. You have to respect her life and everything that comes with it. She is not ofending you, If you love her let that pass and show her you are there to support, care and love, not to judge, threat or fear. Marriage is not a picture, itÂ´s much more!...If the fact bothers you just try to avoid it..But donÂ´t make her get rid of stuff she wants to keep...is just not fair!...You love her then trust her...or your marriage is not going to last..(IÂ´m married for 20 yrs. I know why IÂ´m telling you this)

zipper	Why not he was a part of her life. Would you expect her to throw out her kids if she had had any with him. I hope not! The time will come when she will no longer want them around. And why are you so insecure that some pictures bug you that much? After all she will be sleeping with you not him.

ladybug_78	yeah...grow up!!! she wants to keep the pictures for their child. what is wrong with that? nothing. i myself am divorced with 2 kids and recently remarried. i also have pics of me and my ex that i kept for my kids. my husband has no problem with this. and if he did well he would just have to get over it just like you should.

Maria A.	Ask her if she can just put them in a box some where private and not have them every where in plain view.Tell her the child will need to have new pictures of her parents, and the old ones only a select few, you don't need to save every single last picture that was ever taken for the kids, that is obsessive to me. I agree with you, as to the kid, what do those old photos really mean, what are you trying to prove, 'once upon a time long ago mommy and daddy loved each other, so?' it is more important that the child gets to know each parent individual and makes his own memories and perceptions. I am sure I will get the thumbs down on this one, but it does make sense to me.

gypsy g	You should seek counseling. You can't deny her or her child the fact that they had a life before you. That is very possessive and human beings are not possessions. If she were to ask this, I'd tell her she was a fool for even considering marrying you.

green_clovers66	I have been divorced for 19 years and I have my complete wedding album. Those pictures represent a time in my life that no matter what will always be special. Those are pictures that my 21 year old son enjoys seeing. What is the big deal? If you asked me to part with my past I would send you packing!!! How can you be so childish?!

Î‘Î©	The answer you might not want to hear is 'yes', if she wants to. I believe the best way of doing this is to put them in a box and then place the box on back of a top shelf a little used closet in your house or appartment. When she is ready to toss the pictures, she will. HOWEVER, if these pictures are out somewhere and easy for her to look at, that's a problem you need help with. This is true...I married a man about 20 years ago who I knew from church. Before we married, he gave a testimony to the church saying how God had brought us together~made his life more meaningful~and worked a few miracles to make us meet each other. This testimony was on tape. About 2 weeks later I was given the tape by the Pastor. The marriage ended in divorce within a year. Two years later I married the man I am with today. I kept the tape of my first husband because it was a part of my life I couldn't toss away at the time. Then one day, at work, I took the tape and tossed it in the trash in the mailroom. I never thought twice. It was a decision I had to reach on my own. In closing, I have to add I never listened to it after marrying my present husband; and hope your wife isn't looking at the pictures either.

enaronia	I most certainly can. Don't think you can give your fiance orders about what she's allowed to own, especially pictures of her own past. And the child's parents? Yeah, those should be kept.