What do I do?????????????

Just Some Girl	As much as we want to go back to who we were once upon a time, being in a long term relationship means that you're going to change and so is he. There's nothing wrong with that unless you promised to be this nice girl and then went over to the punk side. Even then, sometimes the changes that we see in ourselves we didn't see coming. It would be nice if he were able to adjust to who you are today, but if that's not possible, then just do your best to show him what he needs to see. That might not mean being the exact same person as you were 14 years ago, it just might mean exhibiting some of those same old characteristics. Also, the love that you feel for each other after 14 years is NOT going to be the same. It's going to be much deeper, but also much less like butterflies. If butterflies is what he's looking for, then he needs to learn that he can probably only really find that with a new person...but then he misses out on having all of the aspects of you that he loves so much. At least it seems like there is hope for you guys!

Penny A	Begging and pleading will get you nowhere fast. I know they are very difficult impulses to control, but by doing that you are saying to him 'I am desperate, needy, have no confidence, low self esteem and can't stand on my own two feet' Don't contact him for the time being and give him some space. Silence speaks volumes. By doing this you are saying to him 'yes I have a broken heart, and I am not contacting you because I am too busy taking care of myself and getting back on my feet.' You are also telling him you are not going to waste your precious time pursuing someone who said they didnt want to be with you anymore. I read this in the book 'it's a breakup because it's broken' by Greg Behrendt. What he says is very true, and it was very true in my case too. Not only that, it will give him time to think about what he has lost and give him a dose of what life is like without you. No contact also gives you the opportunity to grieve, get over it and get your confidence back if he decides not to come back to you. Even though you have a broken heart, salvage your dignity and stand up - he will respect you for it, and more importantly you will respect yourself in the long run. Best wishes xxx

lois d	the actions takes two not one.

kathyw	Trty to relax and realize that you have a lot to learn from this situation. You have time to think about what it is that brought you two to the point of separation. If you did not do anything wrong and your husband hasn't communicated his reasons to you, then maybe the relationship is really over. You can try to remain really good friends; that will take all of your strength but it will be worthwhile in the long run. If you know that you did something to cause the breakup, then you two can work on 'mending bridges' and maybe get something even stronger. You are not the girl from 14 years ago. He's not that guy, either! You took the break up badly? Break ups are hard. If you didn't really do anything and he just wants to keep you in line with promises that it might still work, think long and hard about whether you want back in. It might just be easier to accept that it is over and try to be the 'gracious loser' in this conflict. 'It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken' by Greg Behrendt is a good book about this kind of thing. Read it and see if you still feel the same about staying in the marriage.

Rose girl	Well, he didn't say no so go for it. Change all the behavior that caused your break up.Men just want their wives to be nice. No games, whining, pouting, yelling, etc. That's what a male friend of ours told me. Choose to be sweet and happy and I bet it will be so attractive to him. I hope things turn around for you in this new year.

LoveStratton	Take the chance. It is seldom that you get second chances in this world. You said you really love him so do everything you can to make him fall in love with you.

Tired of life	Don't ever give up on marriage! Don't listen to people of the world telling you to end your sacred vow. If you love him never stop fighting for him. Remember that most people telling you to end it fall into the category of a statistic (50% of all marriages fail). Marriages are not and will never be disposable. Love never fails.

m g	Lady I know where you are standing and is a tough situation. I would sit and calm down think really how you used to talk to this man years ago what you did and how you did it. Then see what has changed? Sometimes the stress of everyday living is to much. the bills and moneys are a pain. Just relax take some time look at all see if you can bring some of that stuff back? wish you the best of luck!

abdullah11117	GIVE THINGS TIME ..................YOU TAKE IT EASY ,BEHAVE NORMAL AND NICE AS YOU ARE ..... IAM SURE HE WILL COME BACK AND CHANGE AND REMEMBER THE OLD DAYS . TRY TO DO THINGS REMIND HIM OF THE GOOD DAYS YOU HAD TOGETHER . INVITE HIM TO PLACES YOU HAD GOOD MEMORIES . TRY TO CUT ARGUMENTS MAKE HIM ANGRY .............AND MOSTLY BE YOUR SELF ....THE GIRL HE FILL IN LOVE WITH

mambo	Honey - any guy that will not love you for who you truly are, is not worth any time of yours! He sounds like he is stringing you along, and seeing what you will do for him. I know you are looking through rose coloured glasses, but from where i sit, you should move on.

Reid	I think he is seeing someone else.

kay405	If you love him and he is giving you a chance...take it. Straighten up and prove to him what you need to prove.