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What do you guys think about ultimatums?
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What do you guys think about ultimatums?

I have some friends that have been dating for 2 years. She wants to get married but he doesn't. She recently told him that of they aren't married within the next year it's over. Do you think this is the right thing to do in her situation? I personally think that a marriage will never work if one person has to be forced into it by an ultimatum. What do you really have then except a spouse who really doesn't want to be married to you anyway? What do you guys think?

Ultimatums for marriage are never good ideas. Either way women end up losing the man. He either leaves on the spot or he gives in to the ultimatum but is miserable and they end up getting a divorce later on. Women have to realize the men don't rush into getting married. We don't dream about it our whole lives. We have to slowing prepare ourselves for it. If we are rushed, it won't work out. Women need to stop comparing themselves with their friends and not worrying so much about their biological clocks. Let some things happen naturally in it's own time.

kim h
I would never give one. Why does she want to marry someone that does not want to marry her? She cannot force him to.

I think..when you give an ultimatum..you should be prepared to lose..what you bring to the table..because although she is not forcing him ..to marry her..she is ..forcing him to make a choice..she may not be the choice ..he makes.

the girl has to re-evaluate if she wants a man that she has to force to marry her. i've seen the ultimatum work, some guys need a lil push. but some freak out and run. if he's a man and in love with her, he'll do it soon enough. but tell her not to keep bringing it up. tell him once, let it go, if 1 year is her timeline and he doesn't do it, then leave. it'll be hard but why wait around if thats truly what u want. some women are ok waiting forever.

James C
They are not compatible . Move on There is always another streetcar to come for her to catch

ask ur female friend to walk away from him. he just timepassin her. no ultimatum will work. its nonsense. if he wanted to marry her she neednot have given an ultimatum. ultimatums are given after repeated requests fall on deaf ears... that means he has been avoidin gettin married to her. ask her to just move with life. otherwise she waste one more year of her precious life on goodfornothings

Julie C
She's with the wrong man. One should never, ever give someone an ultimatum like that, it never works out. She needs to let him go and find someone else who has the same dreams of marriage.

Ultimatums are always tricky, and rarely work. The main thing with an ultimatum is that one must be absolutely sure that one means it. In other words; are you actually prepared to follow through with whatever you have threatened as an alternative?Perhaps your friend needs to think very carefully about what she will do if her bluff is called; because that is what it will come down to. Just remember that friends don't always respond well to "advice", no matter how well meaning it may be.

If she wants to get married and he doesnt then it doesnt sound like there is a future for them and they should end the relationship now.

as a guy, if given the same choice, I'd run away as fast as my feet would carry me!

I am with you I do not think an ultamatum is fear.. and think it is a control act.... as the old saying goes ...patience is a virtue..... and the guy is probably a very careful type ? and wants to be sure 100%

Me personally, I would want the man to marry me because he wanted to..not because he was pressured into it. Even if he gives in, it wont last long.

Jason R
Um..I have heard differing things on this... Ultimatums work - but only if the woman isnt bluffing...she is ready to carry through with walking out on him and takes steps to do so if he cant "man up." If a woman makes idle threats, and shows no sign of going anywhere...we dudes can see that sh** a mile away, and neither will we. You women have to be ready to WALK if they guy doesnt budge, or we will have lost respect for you (something that happens after 3 years anyway if the women doesnt try and get the ring).

You can't force someone to marry you. Love is a mutual thing... If someone give me an ultimatum whether to get married or it's over? My answer will always be I will walk away. I don't take no crap. Plain and simple! ♫♥♫

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