What is the safest way to leave an abusive relationship? This is a person who has PTSD.?

bill l	years?..sounds like your the one that needs help.

pinksparkles321	I am very sorry,that you are going through this. I know you probably want to work this out,but can't take the mental and emotional abuse that comes with it. You need to suggest to him that you guys should go to counseling. what do you think he will say about that? You need to start thinking about your self. you sound very stress and that can hurt you in the long run. You have to tell him that this is really ruining your relationship. suggest therapy. if he doesn't want to then tell him you are to hurt to stay with him. Maybe you should write him letter if you don't know he will act if you are in front of him. i wish you the best. Please keep your head up.

janiegirl	Get out , Get out and go now! Go anywhere you can. Don't worry about him (even though I know that this is easier said than done.) Just leave without any warning to him. You will be helping yourself and him. I know this is really hard but it will all work out in the end result. Please do this and be very careful. Help will come to him if he WANTS it. But you must help yourself too. GOOD LUCK and God Speed.

peggin_beast	If you don't want to involve family and friends, then go to your county domestic violence shelter. They can be of great use on helping you find houseing, jobs, and be safe at the same time.

GoldenButterflyKisses	Is there a women's shelter in your area. They can help you get out and find a new safe place to live. They will help you find a job and help keep you safe after moving. Here are some links that may help: http://mentalhelp.net/poc/center_index.php?id=2 http://www.helpabusedwomen.org/ http://www.heartsandminds.org/self/links/abuseincestfamilyviolence.htm

Ù‡ÙƒÙ‘Blood Princess	wow, u stil worry and care about him, and that's alot of years...........sorry i have no idea for this one, the only thing i can really think of is getting agrresive back, but that might lead to more bad things.

ga.peach67	I assume he works and is not home all the time? Do you work out of the house? If so, tell your boss you need a few days of personal time. While he's a work, get all your stuff and move out. Move somewhere that he cannot find you. Don't go some place obvious like your parents' house or best girlfriend. You could even go to a women's shelter temporarily. He obviously knows where you work so leave a note telling him you can't take it any more and if he tries to track you down, you will call the police. Don't worry about him getting locked up. If he deserves it, it should happen. He needs professional help. It's up to him to get it. Later on, call him and talk about the next steps. Hon, this is going to be hard but you have your own life to live, and to live safely. All my best to you.

mt75689	Have it put on your headstone... Here lies Dee. She was too afraid to involve anyone, so she made the ultimate sacrifice. Your best option is to involve the police. They can safely escort you out of the house, and if he loses it and gets himself arrested, so be it. It could be that the experience will lead to the help that he needs.

smart E	If he won't get counseling, leave him. Call the police because if he flips out, your worst nightmare may come true.

Tesorito	I have no idea what PTSD is.. In any case, he is your husband.. put yourself in his place.. before considering leaving him.. I think you should go see the psychiatrist with him.. be there for him.. If you feel he is a threat to your life, then get away for a while but meanwhile let him know that you will be there to help him.. You don't have any kids with him? Call his doctor...

Mrs. Jack Sparrow â™¥	I think you should pack your stuff and leave without him knowing and when he's not home. Tell him untill he gets help that you will not even consider coming home.

Lisa	You need to find a safe haven like a womens shelter. I've been there, its not going to get better unless he wants to get help. You are in real danger. I would contact a domestic violence hotline or talk to the police and find services and support in your area. Be CAREFUL.Never underestimate him. Dont forget stressors like money problems can really set people off.

deepikawds	is good you help him.

Kiki B	Contact your local Calvary Chapel or other church in your area, they will be able to find you shelter and help you with what you need. My prayers are with you. I know your pain.

CHEESY â™¥	Can you move in with a family member or close friend? Maybe your absence will make him see that he needs you and should treat you better.

queen bee respect me	get out of that relationship b4 you get hurt...it's not safe he has a chemical imbalance

loving life	its going to be hard to let him go cuz its be 25 yrs....theres really no easy answer for this, what you need to do is get the police involved...i understand you care about him but he's not going to care about you when he's in one of his outburst and try to hurt you. If you have money get out ASAP, i know from experience, trust me. If you dont think of yourelf and take care of yourself and just think of him, then stay in the relationship. I think a person who stays in an abusive relationship and doesnt get out is as crazy as the abuser. Good luck, get help and get out before its to late.

Phurface	Have you thought of having him committed to a mental facility where he can get the help he AND YOU both need? Talk to his doctor, most likely, he can guide you on how to proceed with filing the necessary paperwork and he can probably also recommend a counselor. Is he on any kind of medication? Is he taking it as prescribed? I'm sorry to say that you may have to involve the local police in the matter. Yes, your husband may be carried away in cuffs, but not just for your protection, but for his as well. Please disregard the other answers on here from insensitive idiots that think it's your fault. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, but neither is it your husband's. He's suffering and needs help.

Kelly S	I'm no expert, but this is what I would suggest: When you're pretty confident he's in his controlled mood and seems stable (if you can judge that) then show him your love and concern, and present a good idea, whether its to seek professional help or work out a financial plan. If that thought terrifies you then its clear that he's beyond a helthy mental state and you need to get out, whether its temporarily or permanently. Don't be too worried about hurting a family member at this point, you absolutely need to protect yourself. The bigger the support group, the better. I honestly think you're only way out of this situation is through a lot of support, literally having a team of people, family friends, whomever... to help you move out or address the situation in whatever way you think is best. What if 7 people were confronting him together, expressing love support and concern, how do you think he would react?

Allison P	You can't worry about him when it's your life and wellbeing at risk. I would try to leave when he isn't there and for the time being not leave forwarding information. When you are ready, meet him in a public place to discuss your separation unless you think he can't control himself even in public. You can't worry about his loneliness becasue you need to worry about your sanity. Seek help from your local battered women's shelter. They will be able to help you if the above is not an option. Also, he's abusive, and no matter what disorder you place on him, that does not change. You need to call the authorities.

kj	It sounds to me like you DO want to work things out. But you can't do it alone. Is he on any medication for this problem? If he is, is he taking it? Maybe he needs a wake-up call. If you do leave he may realize how much he could loose. It sounds like a dose of "tough love" may be required here. Along with a few doses of a good medication prescribed by a professional. Talk to someone in your family you trust. That's why God gave us families, after all......to help us through this life we have together.

lpogue2005	The best thing you could do is just leave and dont give him any clue as to where you have gone. There are shelters and places you could go. You could call the police to escort you as you are packing all your things. You deserve better.

willy wom bat	i think you should have him sectioned. he need serious medical treatment fast. he might end up killing you. so start thinking positive. good luck.

wellbeing	Leave when he's not there and then let him know that you want things to work out, but that he needs to get help for himself. Let him know you do not deserve to live in fear of his anger. PTSD is not an excuse to mistreat others, I know, I had it. You can get help for it and you can control yourself. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself, and, if you truly love him, leaving him will be the only thing that might motivate him to get the help he needs. If things are meant to work out, they will, if not, then you will know you took care of yourself and that's the most loving thing you can do for either one of you.

baby shasharasha	wow! memories. i used to be the same way. im an iraq vet. the reason hes like this is because his mind is stuck in stress mode. he needs to get help and or medication. i had to go to the doctor and talk to him after messing up two relationships. he has to do the work. he has to get help himself. you cant really do anything because to him, your just nagging him and making it worse. i recently ended a 3 yr relationship because of my problem. im a little better but still need some work. they put me on ant depressants. im sure hes depressed and moody. give him his space. i know its hard and you want to help but give him space. the main thing is that he needs to get help and fast! its a very serious thing and if its not fixed, could lead to self destruction. good luck! i mean that! i feel your pain.

Kel	Find your local chapter of Women In Crisis...they can help you every step of the way, and even get you to a safe-house, if necessary.

Chante Bby.	You need to involve the police no matter what, You always should when someone is getting hurt. There is no safe way to leave an abusive relationship, Try moving away. No man should ever EVER evER Hit a woman.

Xena	I would suggest you call a local womans shelter.......they will help you, and keep you safe. In the mean time......pretend everything is ok.and normal...give no sign that you are leaving....then when he is not home......get out, take only what you need, and can gather in a few moments. you can deal with the rest at a later time. good luck

micfo.com	I don't think you should leave him at this stage after living with him 25 years, I think he require proper medical treatment and attention, however I am not sure how you will manage it.