What would you do if your marriage was threatened by an affair?

Wisen Smart	You cannot force your husband to be with you, just be grateful that he still provides for you and your children. What you can do is get a hold of your dignity and face the truth. You try to do your life also and find someone who loves and respects you. As for divorce, its not making any difference to him, he is still with the other woman, as for you, its stopping you from moving on.

Angie	You can only change you. You are enabling him to keep this relationship with her if he can have the cake and eat it too so to speak. but you can change what you are doing it seems you must first decide what you really want and if its feasible. OBVIOUSLY your self esteem is waning. Take your pride back and make some tough decisions. If your unwilling to go through divorce what do you want? Does he live with you and the kids? if so and you make believe its all ok why would he want to change anything? He is taking advantage of you and you need to get some help for yourself to decide what you want. what if the shoe was on the other foot and you started to fill your needs with another man would he keep the "marriage" front up? If he is not home with you and lives with her yet is still paying child support you may need to see the reality and move on. in the end you must do whats right for you and the kids. What is really right for them is for both thier father and mother to respect each other and have healthy self esteem one not using or taking advantage of the other. The way it is now is NOT whats best for the kids. Good luck to you and I hope you can retake control of your life.

oh_jo123	well in my book once a cheater always a cheater and if he ever cheats on me he is OUT THE DOOR regardless

diana3000	sorry this had to happen to you it all depends on what you believe if you think cheating is wrong divorce him but in the meantime stay with him physically but remove yourself mentally privately stash cash aside asap have a long talk with himake him to counseling if he refuses you go seek the guidance yourself go without him cheating is bad but forgivable if done once(and he is remorseful) but an affair says he doesnt care about you or your familys feelings and that is just wrong what you can do is focus on the kids and you improve yourself in terms of health finances and emotionsand mental strength your a strong woman go make friends find a new friend including a male who will be attracted to you to get even you dont have to sleep with him to make a point if your comfortable doing so develop an emotional affair if thats not for you talk to him and tell him even if you dont mean it that you are a wonderful daughter mother wife etc and that you love your family and thats its a shame that you would deal with his crap and that your emotionally strong and can do without him let him know that you wont ever accept him stepping out of your marriage he made vows and he broke them and that your kids will know what he did and that they will be raised not to be influenced or inspired by him you never deserved any of the pain he put you through also talk tothe mistress let her know how you feel and that karma is a *** if he stepped out of a legal matter knowing the consequences and through his family away hell do it to her even faster but know your worth more life goes on its better to be without him trully alone than without him while your together take him on national television divorce court and embaress his * but know that you lived happily without him before you got married and you can do it again things take time the sooner you leave the quicker you can have the hurt leave get some counseling though and get your health finaces and emotions in order before you go through the divorce good luck! :)

JeNnn	You need to start seriously thinking about divorce. Your husband married you for better or worse until death do you part. Not until the next woman comes along that he wants to hook up with If you have given him the altimatum and he refuses to end his affair with her you need to honestly get as much proof of this affair as possible and get him in a court room. Trust me! You think he's a good provider now, wait until the judge slaps that alimony and child support on his A**. I know this sounds cruel. And not the advise you want to hear. But trust me, you can't MAKE him be with you and JUST you no matter how bad you want it. And it sounds to me like you truly deserve better. You need to find someone truly deserving of your love and attention. Your husband obviously isn't. Good luck, I know this has to be hard for you. If I were in your shoes I'd probably be in jail by now.

Darrell	just show him all the reasons he fell in love with you in the first place. maybe try to have a romantic dinner and really discuss your relationship. if he seems like he's not interested anymore move on. someone else will love to be with you.

Q & A King is Back!	You can do all those things that she's willing to do and you aren't/weren't. Maybe invite her over for a threesome so you can get some pointers from her.

HBIC	Is he really worth aging you with all this stress? If he makes alot of money, get divorced and collect alimony. If you have kids, would you want them to see that it's ok for 'daddy' to put you through everything and disrespect you like that??? If you have a daughter that would be teaching her that it's ok for men to lie, cheat and treat her the way he's treating you, which is horrible. If you have a son, that will teach him that women have no value and he will become a womanizer. If it's just you, with no kids, then you have absolutely NO tie to this fool. Take him for what he's worth - nothing except possibly money. Please have enough respect for yourself to get out now. Trust me, it will be hard, but after a year or two you will be glad you're out of the drama and will be much better off.

Scot	you've sat on this for 2 years & still don't know what to do? If you get the right lawyer, he can still be a great provider for your family. You ain't getting any younger, act now. Kick his *** out. He'll NEVER make this right.

silver	did you ever hear of the farmer that was getting his milk with out buying the cow well yuor husband must have the farmer in him because if that were me she would be welcome to him and let them gert on with it because people like that get it back in return but just twice as bad i woulnt even try and get him bsck because then he will think its alright and he will finish with her to be with some other eye candy

Mark H	There is no "other than divorce". That is the choice you have. Stay in a relationship with a man that is not committed to you because he is a good provider, or leave. Accept the relationship as is, or reject it as is. You have no ability to change him. Also, she is not "intruding" on your family...he has invited her in. He is more to blame than she is, don't fool yourself. He is the one that is married to you and that made commitments to you that he is breaking...not her. She just likes being provided for, too.

dot	Well if your allowin this ??? What do you expect

melouofs	He has chosen a mistress, and despite you knowing about it, he continues seeing her. He is making a fool of you, and is not repentent. He has no intention of coming back, and despite you not wanting to end the marriage, its already over other than the formalities.

LorenaBob-It!	she is not the intruder, he is the a - hole. 2 years ago, and it's still going on? If you don't want to end your relationship maybe it's time for you to take on a lover and have an open relationship.

lauren	you should take a lover too. you probably wouldn't mind him having a mistress if you had your own guy on the side. find a nice young man who can give you the attention that your husband doesn't give you. your husband doesn't love you anymore and you don't want to leave him so get a boyfriend for the love and keep the husband as a provider. if your husband doesn't like you having a boyfriend then tell him as soon as he stops seeing someone else you will too.

Happy-2	Inform your husband that this situation is intolerable to you, and that the time has come for him to choose, you or her. Pack him a suit case and tell him that he needs to get out until he is prepared to commit fully to you.

yeah	ok, if you stayed with him after finding out he has a mistress and will not leave her, then you have a problem. and if you still plan on not leaving him (probably because of money, i'm guessing since you mentioned he is a great provide to you and the kids) then go and get yourself a boyfriend. maybe it will make him jealous that you are getting some on the side too and possibly make him feel bad for what he's doing. but really, i don't know how someone can keep a man around that she loves when he refuses to give up his relationship with his mistress. he is a loser and doesn't deserve a family at that point.

cavie	why would you want to be with a man that wants to be with other woman ???? don't sound fair to you find someone better he sounds like he did you just don't get it yet

monie	Why would you want him back home? He is not going to wake up until you file for divorce and follow through with it.

MrsRed	Why the hell would you want to hold onto a pig who does not love you at all or your children? If he gave even one little bit of a damn about you, he would have never cheated. A great provider? Of what? STDs? You and your children deserve better than that pig. Kick him to the curb.

Jumper12	Have you asked him to go to marriage counseling? Maybe if you both went together you can work it out. You would be surprised at what comes out in counseling that you didn't know about each other. It can make you and your relationship stronger. But he has to be willing to go and be open and honest.

Sss	Once a cheater always a cheater... Your going to have to file for divorce and step up to the plate... Good Luck!

Common sense isn't anymore..	"Chose a mistress" Seriously? He woud be my ex the second I got wind of that.

Prometheus	live with it then, he can have his cake and eat it too