Whats a good argument for not getting married?

Add Man	The only party who benifits from marriage is the female. The benifit only comes if the marriage ends in divorce.

free_angel	Tell her a good thing about not getting married is that your b/f doesn't nag you about it like some people that you know do.

Underground Man	Married people are boring. The best for argument is along what your mom was saying. Because of the wave of anti-gay marriage legislation, I don't know what rights you would have in your state by just living together.

justwondering	for, is something happends to one of you the other has no legal rights to anything. against it why fight with your mother, just tell her marrage is not for you and this is your life

grievetomorrow	Well, to answer your second question, I think a good reason to get married, your mother might say, is because it means, you're, well, married. I know that seems stupid but if you want to be together forever then at some point one of you is going to get sick. And what if one of you ends up in the hospital? As his girlfriend, you have no legal right to stay with him and take care of him. As his wife you do. It's true, you save money on taxes, but what if you two want to buy a house. Or even an apartment. [If you're going to be together for that long it's going to come up.] It's much easier to get a house and things like that when you are legally bound to someone. The same goes for children, if you have a child he has no legal right to care for it if something happens to you. Do you want that? The other thing, if you are only not getting married to prove to others you love each other, that is the wrong reason to do it. I mean, you know you love each other, who cares if I don't? Your side: Getting married takes away your idividual rights. You don't always save on taxes, or money. If you two are happy living where you are, or have even worked out a system of being together there is no problem. Look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. They've been a couple for many, many years and they don't need to get married. They know they love each other, and the pressure of marriage can end up hurting the relationship. Marriage isn't always for everyone. Ask your mother if getting married, and then divorced, is better than just staying content and dating for now?

?asker	Before "married" you expect a lot less.

Rachel M	I don't know a good reason not to get married. After being married for 17 years, I can't think of anything more romantic than a life-long public commitment to each other with the added tax benefit and improved credit score. Do you not want to be married, or just not want a wedding? You also may want to investigate your anti-marital bias from a rebellious standpoint. Perhaps you are shunning marriage only because your mom is pressuring you? If you love your boyfriend and plan to be together forever, there's no reason you can't run down to the courthouse and make it legal.

Q&A	Our situation sounds very similar! My mom always tells me she is worried he will wake up one morning 10 yrs down the road and trade me in for a younger model. I told her what kind of faith is that? I have faith in our love and our relationship, I don't need to get married simply to "assure he stays with me" People get divorced all the time. I think you are perfectly justified in what you think!

LIL Mama	Babe it's your life, you have to know for sure what you want and don't want...if you are of age just tell her to say the H(*** out of you life, and you let her know when you need her to be in it. Then on the other foot...mother do know best. if you going to put all your life in one man you might as well be married. (smile)

S.F	ya know what...I am with you 100%!!!!! Me and my Man have been together almost 11 YEARS! Everything is great! I tell people..."If it isn't broken, why fix it!?" WE are happy the way we are and that's that. I don't live my life to make OTHER people happy! Sorry, but that's just the reality of it. And there are lots of people that WANT to get married and do all that, but there are people that don't and do fine... I say don't worry about making up excuses ...Live your life how you want! and tell them, "we'll get married when we want and you'll get an invitation when we do...so quit bugging me about it!" PERIOD!

Georgie	Just tell her your never going to get married. Tell her it a waste of time!

Blue Sky	You are looking at the difference in being involved with someone and being commited to someone. Just living with someone is involved - getting married is commited. What's the difference? Think about ham and eggs for breakfast. The chicken is involved - but the pig is commited.

lola15	Da Balistic made a lot of good points. Another one would be to keep in mind is that if anything ever happened to either one of you, you wouldn't be able to make any legal decisions regarding health, etc. You would not be each others next of kin. God forbid you should ever put in a situation you would need to make those kinds of decisions.

Triskelion	I have this same problem with my family especially now that my sister has been married and had twins they want me to get married and have kids. Tell them it's your life and your happiness is what they should be most concerned in life and stop judging you by your decisions even though they dont aggree with it. Tell them you're happy the way you are and don't need to change it. Other than that there is nothing much you can do except to repeat this to them. Theyre never going to change. Some people are just old fashioned like that.

Da Balistic-T36	First, no matter what you think when living together, your relationship with your significant other changes the moment you marry. You have now made a commitment to each other as husband and wife in front of almost everyone significant in your life. You now see each other in a different and more serious light. Second, words matter. They deeply affect us and others. Living with your "boyfriend" is not the same as living with your "husband." And living with your "girlfriend" or any other title you give her is not the same as making a home with your "wife." Likewise when you introduce that person as your wife or husband to people, you are making a far more important statement of that person's role in your life than you are with any other title. Third, legality matters. Being legally bound to and responsible for another person matters. It is an announcement to him/her and to yourself that you take this relationship with the utmost seriousness. No words of affection or promises of commitment, no matter how sincere, can match the seriousness of legal commitment. Fourth, to better appreciate just how important marriage is to the vast majority of people in your life, consider this: There is no event, no occasion, no moment in your life when so many of the people who matter to you will convene in one place as they will at your wedding. Not the birth of any of your children, not any milestone birthday you may celebrate, not your child's bar-mitzvah or confirmation. The only other time so many of those you care about and who care about you will gather in one place is at your funeral. But by then, unless you die young, nearly all those you love who are older than you will have already died. So this is it. Your wedding will be the greatest gathering of loved ones in your life. There is a reason. It is the biggest moment of your life. No such event will ever happen if you do not have a wedding. Fifth, only with marriage will your man's or your woman's family ever become your family. The two weddings transformed the woman in my son's life into my daughter-in-law and transformed the man in my daughter's life into my son-in-law. And I was instantly transformed from the father of their boyfriend or girlfriend into their father-in-law. This was the most dramatic new realization for me. I was now related to my children's partners. Their siblings and parents became family. Nothing comparable happens when two people live together without getting married.

physandchemteach	You mom is right. Married couples get discounted taxes, health insurance, car insurance, etc. You don't need to marry, but these things may make you think twice. It is hard to get insurance for cohabitation. Some people may need to marry to "look better" for their jobs. A preacher would need to marry to conform to the ideals of his church. A politician would need to marry to please his constituents.

The Doctor Is In.	What you save on taxes you will spend in divorce court and on lawyers. believe me, my friend is in this position right now and it is going to bankrupt him for sure. You and your partner know what you want, Our parents want the best for us, and cheaper tax returns maybe part of it, but I think your mother's real motivation is that she wants her daughter to be a "respectable lawful wife" rather then a "live-in girlfriend". You will not change her mind, so this is what you do. You lie. it's a white lie but for now it will do. You tell her that for now you are not putting a legal marriage out of the equation, but the situation you and your partner are in at the moment is ideal for you both and if she loves you she should stay out of it and that is that. Tell her that life has no grantees and you just want to protect yourself and save yourself from divorce court should this relationship does not work out, tell her you may have your doubts regarding this very serious commitment (without putting down your boyfriend, just in general terms) and tell her that when and if you set the date she can plan and PAY for the whole thing, and you would want a Donald Trump style wedding, So there. Good luck

mrcarl92807	I will answer with a joke. What desert puts the most weight on a woman?????? Wedding cake. That should be enough reason right there.

his temptress	You have already said it all. I would politely, firmly and with love tell her that you appreciate her concern but you have decided not to get married and the subject is no longer up for discussion. You dont need a good argument, you already have one. You are grown up and can make your own decisions. Getting married or not getting married is one of those decisions you get to make, regardless if it is what she wants for you or not. Good Luck

orpheus	You will be effectively signing an enforced government contract. Yes, you do get benefits, but if you happen to get a divorce getting OUT of the contract will be messy and painful. You can at least tell your mother that you want to see if you can be together for several years (perhaps five, ten, whatever) before you want to think about marriage.

Pgybnks	You could argue the divorce rate? Just don't have kids...your mom will flip.

Shello	Then you don't love him. If you wont even make the commitment to be with each other. Your moms right just she's not doing much good getting her point. Psh taxes?

winterblues	You dont wanna and neither does your man. Its your life...she will still love you if you arent married....

Number 3	You've argued your case well her, make sure you as as clear and concise as this with your mother. Let her know that you appreciate her help and value her opinion, but you feel that right now, that not getting married is the right thing for you to do. Before she has time to answer, give her a hug and say thanks for understanding, and walk off :)

Avery	you could try and talk to her and tell her what you feel and if that doesn't work out then you could tell her that nothing she says is going to make you and your bf want to get married

Larry	divorce rates............

tirebiter	depending where u live - i think the tax thing is in the past? - not sure , but - - there is no arguement to me - i totally agree w/ you. it's just a piece of paper. make urself happy - do what feels right to you. your ma just may be old-fashioned give her a little slack - but stick to ur guns! happy co-habitating!!!

kennerkitty812	You will not have to worry about going through a messy divorce. If you ever decided to break up, that's all that it will be is just a break up. No lawyer will get rich off of you :-)

Deez	tell her u both are just fine without getting married and need some more time with each-other. also ur not ready for family and kids and getting married brings a lot of responaibilty.

Haiti Cherie	I know this is not easy, but try to stand your ground and don't let your mother ruin your relationship. I know some people here have made great arguments as to why you should get married, and I, too, am all about marriage. However, it ultimately comes down to what makes you and your man happy, and it is YOUR decision. Eventually, your mom will come around b/c her love for you is stronger than this situation, I hope. Who knows? Maybe you and your man might decide to get married someday, but for the time being, just let the relationship flow naturally.