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Why are some men so mean to women?
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Why are some men so mean to women?

...or some women so mean to men?

That is a good philosophical question. Here is my abbreviated version. :) Men and women are mean to each other for many reasons. Some of it is innate- the desire or need to be in control and have power. By having power over another person one gets validation, respect and their sense of independence is preserved. The need to be independent, to do exactly what pleases self and to choose what we want to do by having control and power over others is not just evident in man/woman relationships. We see it in the playground bully, the work place and on a larger scale, the country dictator. It has everything to do with power and control. It is human nature for us to think of our own needs and our own comforts first. Most people always place their own interests at the head of the queue. We are wired to want to be loved (or at least liked) to be respected, to be admired, to be independent. People often try to control others and exercise what power they have to gain and hold onto these once we have them. Some are able to accomplish this through money. Some through force. However, it is accomplished, following instruction and taking someone else’s lead is not in a man or a woman's nature. There are other factors as well. How men and women were raised, and what kind of modeling they had as children and young adults can affect their behavior in adult life. Adults who were abused as children will usually mimic the same kind of behavior in adult life. They will do so unless they break the cycle. Men by nature are more aggressive which likely accounts for a man taking the lion’s share of “meanness” in a relationship. By instinct they are competitive. When he was a hunter and gatherer his competitive instincts kicked in. It was himself against his environment. Today you don’t have to look far to see this aggressive and competitive instinctive nature come out. Just look at the wrestling programs on TV and what they promote. Look at the video games of destruction that kids revel in. Take a look at violence in sport. This is not to say that women are not competitive or aggressive. My wife would love to see the opposing quarterback's head taken off in a football game! Simply look at road rage on our highways and you will see that women are no different than men. But generally a women’s nature is to be a nurturer, a caregiver. That is innate in her. So, she is often the peace maker in a relationship. Evidence of or lack of security and self-worth in an individual I believe is at the core of how one views the world and how one will relate to others.

I think maybe because that is what they saw growing up.... I know that my boyfriend was treating me like i was a piece of dirt for about a year and then i got fed up with it and split up with him and told him that i couldn't take bein treated like that anymore he always said that he didn't treat me bad i just made things up and blammed him for things then i told him " you know it as well as i do that your father treats your mother like crap and just because he doesn't see it doesn't mean that is doesn't happen" so since then he has really stepped back and changed alot. So i think it has something to do with how you watched your parents act around you growing up.

Kim W
a selfish child will become a selfish mean partner. They will soon get over the romantic beginning and show themselves for the view they take on the world----MEMEME. They do not know humility, or how to be grafeful, or even respectful. In my case I see I did fail miserably to teach a son and daughter those characteristics, they are spoiled, they treat their families poorly and act out. Rehab has been part of their lives and the good examble I presented wasn't enough. I know i SPOILED THEM.

Some people hate themselves, and take anger out on other people to feel powerful and better about themselves when they see the control they can have over people's feelings.

rock of ages
I wish I knew the answer, I wonder myself!

Low self esteem, make yourself feel better by tearing other people down..

Why not me
It's a choice that one makes. You can't be forced to be mean to another. What some hate in themselves, they take out on others.

Most of the time it will have something to do with insecurity. For one reason or another it makes them feel better by controlling/bullying a partner.

Emmanuel M
It is true that some men are very mean to women,but behind this there is a reason,and that what did the women done to their men for the men to be so mean.

I ask myself the same question. In my opinion some people are supposed to be mean so that we can know and appreciate the people that are nice. :)

Nobody realises what they have until it's gone! The grass is always greener on the other side. Adults are stupid!

Because some men feel like the only way to get a girl is to convince her that she's worthless and only he would ever love someone like her. The fact that this works sometimes is gut-wrenching.

lily s
some people are just mean because that's what is in their genes. men being mean to women? some men are just mean and abusive.

Well as a women who used to be mean to mean - It's a cycle. One guys is mean to a girl - then the girl is mean to a guy and so on. I had an abusive bf - and after him I was angry at men. I know it's a lame excuse but men & women hold resentments towards ech other from past experiences. Men who are mean to women for no reason are losers. Period. Women who are mean to men - might have gotten that way from past abuse. People are socially retarded and don't know how to treat each other

their moms didn't love them and now they don't know how to show love

Emilio T
they just want some one to over power and feel like they r like a god......lol


honestly i think that men are mean to women because they think there better then them and that they own them,(which they dont) and then i think that women are mean to men becasue some other man was mean to them. just a guess though hope it helped

Little Miss Tubby Boop Boop
because the person that there being mean to (male or feamale) lets them be mean to them.

A way to show who is the ``higher one `` .It`s a gender thing.

Electric Dazeys
Because people stay together in relationships for the wrong reasons and end up resenting the other person.

the world is full of idiots

Get Your Dose Of Mickateen
Generally because they have self esteem issues.

cuz there d*cks

sometimes the other person deserved it

"You always hurt the one you love....."

Ralph M
low self esteem

Rough childhoods contribute to the way they act when they grow up and treat their spouses.

Yousif (Joe) R
People are "mean" to each other... thats just the way we are... Its screw or be screwed...

some people are just mean in general. idk.

because people are stupid

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