Why do I stay with a man who verbally and sometimes pysically abuses me?

laughter_every_day	What you describe, walking on egg-shells and beginning to believe that there is some fault in you that makes him do it, is quite common among those who have been abused. It is part of the cycle that allows the abuser to continue, but convincing the victim that she cannot leave, has nowhere to go and will never be loved by anyone. Ask yourself this, if it is about your faults, about you making him angry, how can he manage to get through the day at work without physically assaulting anyone there? It is not about you. You are not at fault for making him abusive. He chose that method of controlling you. It will not get better. Even if you could get him into counseling, he would use that as a reason to assert greater control over you. There is nothing you can do but to leave. There are shelters you can go to while you get a restraining order, and where you can get help. Get out now, today.

Arthur W	You keephoping that things will someday return to normal, the way they were once. Whether your fault or not he has no right to take it out on you verbally or physically. It sounds like he has something bothering him deep inside and any little thing sets him off. Until that something is uncovered, he will never change. I seriousily doubt if professionalhelp will do any good because I doubt if he will ever admit a problem and doubt if hed ever go to a counselor anyway. So it all comes down to you and just exactly how much youre willing to put up with here before youve had enough and decide to move on. But you do not have to put up with his abuse whatsoever any more especially the physical abuse. Good luck

maryann c	To the answerer chocalat Dont answer questions you know nothing about,your an insensitive idiot and your probably an abuser youself whatcha doin trying to get 2 points. No your dum learn how to spell!!!!

presleygirl	don't stay if he hurts you, it's not only morally wrong but it is against the law. you've got to have more self respect.

hotchickk77	if i was you i would not stay with a man that hit me. an old flame of mine got drunk an he went to hit me that was the first an last time he ever did, i got rid have some self respect will you for yourself you deserve better, think of any kids u have now or future what happens when he does it too them hey get rid b4 its too late its an excuse he doesnt remember, he more than likely will he just feels a burke for doing so

Lady Hewitt	He has a memory of it He is just in denial and is acting like he does not remember. NO you should not stay with him you need to get out NOW and go to a friend or families house or even a shelter for battered women and get to safety and never look back or go back to him for that matter and you need to file for divorce ASAP and dont think twice about it. Also when you do leave him do not ever contact him again or let him know where you are at. He does not need to know where you are at at all. You are NOT to blame for how he acts or treats you. You are not over reacting either. GET OUT NOW! Make a plan pack your stuff and leave when he is not at home. I also suggest you go to http://www.drphil.com and email him for help and advice in this situation as well. I sure hope you choose to do the right thing and that you get out soon and seek the help and counseling you need to heal and get past this. I am so proud of you for taking the first step here and reaching out and asking us for help.

Special K	If you are with someone and they are treating you badly, what could you be doing to make them treat you that way-nothing. We are responsible for how we treat others, not how others treat us. You should have been gone, especially if this is a pattern of behavior for him. I know love sometimes makes us have more patience than normal, but that patience can easily turn into stupidity!

Andrew G	You feel like you are better with him than alone. You are afraid what he may do to you if you leave. You justify his hitting you as a temporary insanity which makes it ok. You need to get out of this relationship. I think you know that or you wouldn't have submitted this question. I will speak for men. A large majority of us have never hit a woman or physically or emotionally abused one. I myself have never considered doing so and think men who do should be given their own little island somewhere. You should probably seek some counseling and find a way for you to get away from this sorry excuse for a man.

Moon Crystal	Pack up and leave. NOW. You do not need to put up with that. It's bad for your health.

Ash	Honey, please get out of the relationship. Anyone who verbally or physically abuses you doesn't love you. They only want to hurt you. Someone else is out there to treat you with the respect you deserve.

nursecracker	is there alcohol involved in his behavior? YOU are NOT to blame... and it's a crime to assult another person... you are a VICTIM of this man's anger and abusive ways. he needs help. you have a lot to think about... he has to get help. i wouldn't stay in that situation, even if i had to live under a rock somewhere... perhaps talk with a minister or counselor... someone who is experienced in these matters will have good advice and help you to do what is best for YOU... You are important... others have no right to harm you or even touch you, in any way. hugz

Carol H	Get out from one who has been there done that! It only gets worse and more humilating to yourself and your friends and family. Don`t put the guilt on yourself. He will like that!!! Just remember if you don`t like your life change it because in your situation it never gets better!!!!!!

stevieglenwright	i am in the same boat (not good, huh?) we tell ourselves it's not that bad. but we do love them (well i do) I can't give u a good answer coz i'm asking the same question.....

Sherrill	because you feel that he is engine in your car he keeps you moving. its like he's the vessels connected to your heart that keeps your heart pumping. once you find you can live without him you'll leave him.

Chase Smith	tell a friend, so they can be on the lookout for you, if he is physically abusing you then you might have proof in the form of bruises, simply call the police...point blanc is that YOU SHOULD NOT STILL BE WITH HIM!!

d h	leave. now.

Big E	Listen I have been like this before and I stayed because I loved them more than anything in the world and still do but then we broke up... And no you are never to blame...

Bubba13	battered wife syndrome, look it up.

B E C C A A A	back away from the dude and go out there and get a hunk!

Gerry	You deserve better, you stay with this abuser because you don't think much of yourself! Leave this person, before it gets worse!

Shredded Cottage Cheese	why do some women think it is ok for their men to abuse them? it is never ok for someone to beat on you. I dont care how much you think you "love" him, leave and find the guy who will treat you like you want him to

brian77tx@sbcglobal.net	GET AWAY ASAP!!!!!!!!!

chocolate_lover	cause your dum

devil_wid_attitude13	its because you might be scred tht u might not find somebody else. if someone treats you like tht you should leave no matter what, even ifyou do something wrong you should never be abused in any way.

Tyen Fier	If you don't like the way he treats you, then leave him. You don't need to keep up with this. Start over with somebody else.

alexmom	you should seek help some quick

I luv me some chris breezy	GET AWAY FROM HIM NOW, BEFORE ITS TOO LATE

bronzebabekentucky	we dont know--- WHY do you stay??? get out go now...