Why do husband cheat and then blame it on their wives?

callmed1964	DO YOU HAVE CHILDREN TOGETHER? How was your relationship before? How old is he? There is a thing that men go thru called a midlife crisis and they feel like that they have to prove their manhood. There is also the possibility that he feels insecure or inadequate with you for some reason or maybe there is not enough intimacy for you both. I would suggest counseling for you and maybe suggest marriage counseling to him. Love doesnt just dissipate; it will take time to recover; but stay strong stay positive and ra affirm your attributes on a daily basis and when it is time to move on you will know in your heart.

peanuthead	Always easier to blame someone else than to take responsibility for your own actions. You have been betrayed.....it hurts......it will get better....and hopefully you'll find someone worthy of you.

billieray	Of course you are having a hard time letting him go. You feel humiliated, and let down. Your life has disintegrated in front of your eyes. It is not your fault. It is his. If he was unhappy in the marriage he should have spoken to you about it, not indulged himself in an affair. Not that knowing that makes it any easier. Men are so childish.Hold you head up and try to get on with life. I am not saying this will be easy. It is all so unfair. I am so sorry, I really am.

Lana	I am so sorry for you. However, if he can easily walk away from 7 years how true and genuine was his love for you? I was in his position but me and my hubby split for a couple of months. I began seeing someone but couldn't bring myself to sleep with this guy. He was a new touch, smell, person. Ask yourself if you could just do to him what he did to you....No you couldn't could you? So now, you know how much he really loved you. Sweetie as hard as this may sound he was going to leave you eventually anyway he never really loved you like you loved him. Understand that his highschool friend isn't getting much of a man and honey he will reap what he has sown and it the story will get back to you no matter how far you go....I would surround myself around people who truly love me and try to heal so that when you meet your next husband you will be prepared for him....If you are still struggling, get into some counseling or try to relocate. Do whatever is best for YOU.Do what you need to do for YOU. Because right now, its about YOU.

Summer F	I am so sorry this happened to you-no one deserves for that to happen to them. Do not blame yourself. If he was unhappy, he should have gotten out of the marriage instead of cheating on you. He is not good enough for you. When some men (I am not saying all guys) cheat or hurt you, their way of trying to make themselves feel better or justify the wrong that they have done is to turn it around on you. I suggest that you try your best to pick up where you left of in life, be positive and know that there is someone out there who will love you and treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. Let that girl have him, he is going to do the same thing to her. Try your best to stay focused on YOU-spend time with family, friends and enjoy doing things that you haven't done in a while for yourself! Best wishes! :*) I know that this is rough~

kalypsokitty	Because they are too weak to go to their wives and admit something has changed. Often cheating on either part is caused by this and can be avoided by communication. Talking about a change in feelings for your significant other or a change in the something within in yourself can prevent a lot of problems.

Tha Jane	Because some men think because their missing something from home or your not satisfying in a certain way, its okay to go out there and be unfaithful. The funny pary is is that they dont inform you how they feel in case the problem can be worked out first. Its very hard when your married because you made an official commitment, if he refuses to talk to you or seek counseling its best that you learn to adjust to the next steps, wether its separation or divorce. Do you have children? I havent been married but I can relate to how you feel? Try to invest your time into something else so as to not cause so much stress on you. Remember, you did nothing wrong!!!!!!! He did. So dont feel guilty..Of course you still love him, you had no idea what was going on so its hard to revert your feelings for him instantly. It will take time, but you will be okay...Do you really want to stay married to someone who would treat you like that, blame you, and refuse to talk to you? You are much better than that and you dont need that kind of person in your life..

Belen	Husbands cheat and turn around blaming their wives using that scheme to make her feel guilty for not being good enough to be his wife. A strong woman will not fall for that trick, but I can see how someone like you still profess to love him despite being hurt and betrayed by him.

csiders30	I'm sorry. Cheating and betrayal is the worst. Why do women cheat and blame their husbands? Its a convenient excuse to cover up their own inadequecies. Best way to get over a man is getting under another one. Time to re-think your dating techniques. Go after someone different.

Kika	im sorry, i dont know why men sometimes stray and i do know that it hurts when someone u love and have been with for so long to just leave and make u feel that you did something wrong, and then all it makes u do is go crazy and wish u could go back and change things, but u cant. sometimes its easier to blame someone then to look inside yourself, what you need to do is not blame yourself for his behavior, no matter what he should have never cheated on you. eventually he will feel shameful and regret what hes done but for now you need to try to move on as hard as it is. and just know that it will take a long time but eventually u will be able to look back with a better perspective, and new eyes. its ok to go through the ups and downs, frustration, anger, sadness, loneliness and even still loving him... but you have to love yourself, and pray to Jesus who also love u and will never leave u, ask him for strength.

Joseph T	I am a male, let him go. If a man cheats on you once, have it in the back of your mind, he is capable of doing it again, trust me I've been there.

i_am_a_god_4_u	Alright, this is a question that has been answered time and time again. He doesn't want to feel like he done anything wrong by spreading his manliness. He probably thinks that since you two aren't knocking boots enough then he should find it elsewhere.

Spindrift	Of course you are; you just lost a very important part of your life in a very cruel, sudden way. His behavior is typical; when men cheat they feel bad but don't want to talk about it or admit they are losers so they handle it by saying nothing at all. Inside you may think you still love him, because this is so sudden, but when you have had time to digest it more you will not feel so bereft. Like when someone has an arm or a leg amputated they still feel the limb and phantom pain...it's the suddenness.

mikamar1	Because they are losers. Let him go, he does not deserve to be with you. Do not let him come back.

john	sorry

ROBEAR	letting go of someone especially your husband im sure will not be easy at all and im very sorry to hear of your loss he blames you or someone else, beacuse just like any other guy he cant admit to being wrong, he has to come up with some excuse to make himself feel better about his assanine decision so he blames you, thus trying to make himself believe that what hes doing/did is ok again very sorry, but keep your head up high, be strong, it will all work out, everything always does

dontknow	Hey, women do it too. We can't put all the blame on them. You guys were together for a long time. Just give yourself time to heal. It gets easier. Good luck and from the bottom of my heart I am so sorry this is happening to you!

dreamweaver	you have been together for a while and love him but its time to get a divorce or get marriage counseling its his fault for not communicating to you what he needs you stayed faithful he didn't it is always easier on the other person to put the blame on someone else but you didn't do anything wrong

animal_mother	From what I've heard, people cheat becuase of the way the person makes them feel. So, although I'm not saying it's your fault he cheated, but maybe you should evaluate how you treat him.

Lady Louisa	Most guys are pigs. My husband is a pig, and so is my father. My brothers are also pigs. Sorry sister, that is just the way it is.

tallmadgeavon	Let go of the loser....why would you give him a second chance when he never gave your marriage a chance. You a better off without this man. You deserve a better man - a man that honors marriage. Good luck - don't look back - YOU DESERVE BETTER!

serena d	i hate people like that there big jurks there idoits well they have to blame it on someone else cuz its never there falt!!! there perfect and every thing else bull crap

19G30	Trust me. You don't want him back. You can find someone better. Just wait and see.

Rob	It's because he is a bad person.Get a councillor or ditch/annul him

moni_crazy06	BcUZ dey FeEL guiLty N NEED sUm1 2 BlAme it ON

s0ulja_b0y46	they do that cuz they r retarded my dad did that ******

Asiana	that's only in movies!