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Why has my husband decided he hates Christmas? This started about 3 years ago.?
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Why has my husband decided he hates Christmas? This started about 3 years ago.?

It all starts just before Thanksgiving. When I start decorating for the holidays, he starts going out with friends and staying out late. Gives me no attention.... I ask for hugs and he ignores me. I say I Love You and he ignores me. I love the holidays, decorating, buying gifts, spending time with family and friends. He makes my life miserable every year at the holidays. We have separated 2 times during November.... Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with a man like this. I love him! Thank you for your responses. It isn't financial stress. He is self employed and I work fulltime. I pay all the household expenses, yes that's right. House payment, power, water, cable, internet, my credit cards, buy all the groceries, clean the house, clean the pool, rake the leaves, cook all the meals. And I buy all the Christmas presents for my children, he only has to buy for me. It is as simple as this, I asked for a hug and he just ignores me. I ask him to go to the Christmas parade to see my 16 year old son in the parade, he says no, I am going to have a drink with the guys. My holidays are turned in to misery. I just want to him to give a little. I get no appreciation for anything I do. No "Thank you" dinner was awesome. No the house looks great, no hugs, no kisses. He goes to the sports bar and flirts like crazy with the young bartenders and waitresses, but can't even give me a hug. Maybe it is jealousy or maybe he just doesn't care about me!

Is he having financial difficulties? It can be a big trigger of stress during Christmas, particularly if he feels his families expectations are high. Perhaps you should go about "your Christmas" and let him retreat into his cave. Don't nag or bother him and perhaps he will feel comfortable enough to open up to you and discuss it. Maybe even begin a discussion by saying you should budget this Christmas, if it is financial difficulties this will be like music to his ears and he'll start talking. You will know then. Otherwise, if all else fails, write him a letter. If he feels he has been given enough space to do it he can write down his feelings - some men don't respond well to unexpected conversations. Hope it all works out for you.

My ex claimed another religion so he wouldn't have to get Xmas gifts (but he ALWAYS looked for people to give him stuff). I think your husband is stressing but try to get thru this Christmas together and if he shows his azzzz, dump him for the New Year.

My brother has been like this for many years now. He always starts trouble around the holidays with the family. It starts with his wife, then spills over into the family. Before you know it, everyone in the family is upset and doesn't want to get together. You know what we did. He left for a few years so, we closed the door on him. We simply told him we're not available to his small minded problems he always starts on the holidays. My poor parents, bless their souls, suffered so much with him. Now he's turned it on us. While working with a large police department in the Southwest we didn't look forward to the holiday season. There were so many people like this, it was like waiting for the full moon. A real quirk. It seemed like the holidays spurred something in people that nothing else did. It usually started with drinking. And they holler about Mariwanna, then it was in the immediate family, then it spread over the entire family and sometimes ended up in a shooting or a beating. It happens. I haven't seen my brother in 17 years now and I can wait. Isn't that sad ?

I used to love Christmas until I started having to pay for it, now I dread it. it seems that buying expensive gifts is more important than the real meaning of Christmas perhaps he is stressed out over having to finance it.

Nita h
geez, well how much are you spending? Are you putting yourselves in debt with all the decorating and gifting? I know that my husb. did not like Christmas AT ALL when I thought it was MY job to make Christmas Magic by spending every cent we had, would have, and maxing all cards out. One time he FINALLY explained he watched his parents do this, and then they went hungry the rest of the yr. That isn't MAGIC it's scary for a kid. I pruned by Magic back into reality, and now HE LOVES CHRISTMAS, and I hate shopping, so worked in his favor....lol *smart man though, we ended up with 15 gkids,,,,man we would have been living under the trees with all that bunch by now....LOL Much good luck, but do have an honest talk and see WHAT DOES CHRISTMAS MEAN TO HIM and WHY...

Strange... And this only happened 3 years ago? Well... What happened around Thanksgiving/Christmas time 3 years ago? That might be a good place to start. Did someone die? And he doesn't give you the cold-shoulder the rest of the year? Are you religious and maybe he's not? There's definitely something missing here... Just ask what his problem is with the holidays. Don't be accusatory or try to start an argument. Ask him questions about his feelings rather than his actions. Like "why do the holidays bother you so much?" rather than "why do you act like such an ass towards me during the holidays?"

Well are you more attentive to him during this time of the year and not others? Does the social butterfly that is you not surface until November hits? Have you tried to ask him why he is becoming distant around this time of the year? It seems rash to contemplate divorce over something so minor....it would be different if he did this year round, but something is causing him to shut down this time of the year and it might be worth investigating instead of questioning your marriage..especially you say that you love him.

Katy Workman
HI CONNIE,,honey,i no you love him,,but u need to ask that question ,,do i really want to spend the rest of my life with a man like this,honey,if he wont set down and tell you why,he gets like that around christmas,you write him a note,and put it were he will get it,and try not to b around win he reads it,tell him how u really feel,sometimes win a guy reads,it sticks in there head,and i would put in there,would you rather not have me around ? good luck,,,peace

Stop being demanding. Something in your behavior is irritating him. Every year around thanksgiving he is like this. May be a little bit of introspection help you. Talk it out. Best of luck.

Some people drink alcohol with their friends around holiday time, such as Christmas. And alcohol can change the guy's personality in a bad kind of way. You didn't mention alcohol, but this could be the cause of his problem.

Have you even bothered to ask him WHY he's like this every time December tries to peak it's head out?

You're better off divorced.

The holidays can be stressful and he may be feeling a lot of pressure due to that. I used to love the holidays, now, I dread them. Even Halloween.

Duke Bawkes
We don't know. Ask him.

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