alcoholic husband?

â™«â™ªâ™¥Beautifulâ™¥â™«â™ª	I think you should ask the same question you asked him.. do you care about your child? if so then you need to get the balls and get out. he already told you the answer. YOU can not rely on a drunk. they are moodie and dangerous. Please think about your health and your babies health. hes not thinking about his so you dont worry about it. just make sure that you and your child are good. the only way he is going to change is if he wants to. I hope everything works out for you.

Gregory B	All I can say to you is that if his drinking is more important then you and you soon to be baby. Then he must not really care that much for you or your soon to be baby. You should leave him. I know that's not what you want to hear but he probably will not give up his acohol for you then he don't deserve to be with you and your baby.

Mean Carleen	I would NOT raise a child with him. You and the baby will always be second rate up against his drinking.

mimiamours	Give him an ultimatium. Join AA and make a committment to his family.

Hallie S	give it time. if you leave him little notes like 'i love you have a good day' just to show him you care he might turn around. once the baby is born it is a whole diffrent feeling and by that time maybe he will realize. and little by little start taking the beer out of your house. not quickly but as time goes by and he askes where it is just say he drank it beacuse he drinks so much. show him you care and keep talking to him. if it gets really bad confide in a close friend or relative. or even his mom or someone related to him. hope i could help.

dancing11freak	He won't change. Pretty soon he'll go out drinking and leave you for the night for another woman than completely forget he did it and come home to you. Get out now.

sissybombay	well he has to be the one to admit he has a problem in the mean time I want to suggest Al-anon, they will help you deal with your issues. remember these are his issues not yours. You will need to re-group and focus on you and the baby. Remember when he says hurtful things it is the alcohol talking not him. I am not making excuses for him but that is how it is. He may need a intervention and Al-anon will help you find out if you do. I work in this field and know for a fact you need to get a support group and get phone numbers and work on yourself.. the rest will fall in its place.. good luck sweety and I will say a prayer for you..

Jasmine Lily	He sounds very immature about the whole thing. I know that alcoholics have to want to quit on their own. Forcing them to stop will only make matters worse. If you can't count on him to be there for you and the baby, then use the door and leave. Stay with your parents, or see if he'll go get help. (together) If you love him and he loves you, just tell him how you feel. Explain to him that you're worried, and that you don't want your baby to grow up with an alcoholic parent, as you say he did. Tell him your child will need his daddy in his right mind!!!

Li	you know where the door is...

cakelady53	RUN, RUN, RUN!!! I spent 12 miseraable years with an alcoholic husband, thinking I didn't want to tear my daughter away from her father. Finally could not take any more of it and left, taking my daughter with me. She and I have never been happier. Doesn't sound like he's willing to even entertain the idea of sobriety. Cut your losses!!!

roseannetb@verizon.net	What a thing to tell your wife, you know where the door is. Now from that statement, you know what to do. You know what you have to do, so you have to work on doing it. I know it is not going to be easy, but it can be done. and you are going to need to do it for peace of mind, for you and your child! He has to want to get help, and you cannot do it for him. And you are the only one who can make a better life for your child!

psyco	i drank for for 35 years and lost 4 or 5 good women and now im in bad health from drinking . if you dont want a lot of problems in your life for a long time . do what he told you and hit the door

vanessa	LEAVE AND HE WILL REALIZE HE WAS WRONG. MY FRIENDS HUSBAND STARTED OFF LIKE THAT DRINKING EVERY NIGHT THEN HE STARTED USING THEIR MONEY ON IT TO THEN HE STARTED GETTING ABUSIVE THEN WHEN HE WASN'T GETTING DRUNK ANYMORE HE STARTED USING DRUGS YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE IT STOPS A.S.A.P. EVEN IF IT MEANS YOU HAVE TO LEAVE UNTIL HE GETS HIS PRIORITIES STRAIGHT GOOD LUCK DONT BECOME A VICTIM OF ABUSE DO IT FOR YOUR CHILD.

Justin H	I would say get out now. Raising a baby on your own may be hard, but trying to raise a baby around an alcoholic could be ever harder. Besides, you never know when he might turn violent and try to hurt you or the baby. The fact that he basically showed you the door means he doesn't really care. If you do leave and then he tries to win you back, you can make sobriety a condition. There's nothing that says you can't love him and even take him back if he cleans up, but at the same time, you owe it to you and your baby to be in a healthy and stable environment. Furthermore, if you husband is an alcoholic (and it sounds like he is), nothing you can do will make him stop until he decides for himself that it's time to stop and get help.

Nasubi	He is in denial and he won't change until he WANTS to change. Do you love him so much that you would subject your child to that lifestyle? If you child grows up with that influence he will most likely be an alcoholic as well. I think at this point, you have to do what's best for the baby. And if he would blatantly choose alcohol over you and your child then obviously you and the baby are not that important to him. You deserve someone who really loves you and so does your baby. In the meantime, attend some Al-Anon meetings...it's for families of alcoholics, to help you deal with their alcoholism and to realize that it's not your fault and there's nothing you can do until they want to do for theirself.

Kristal E	Run like the wind!! He has already said that he will not change, so the question you need to ask yourself is are you willing to put up with the behavior or not. You need to think about you child and if this is the kind of person you want your child to model their behavior after.

Just A Stranger	You should get out.I know its going to be insanely hard but you should.My dad and grandpa are both alchoholics.I kinda of wish sometimes that my dad would stop because not only is he hirting himself he's hurting my mom, me, my sister and my brothers [not physically].I cant stand him when he's drinking.He's really annoying then.I'm 15 by the way.I love my dad but I hate it when he drinks.You should really leave your husband.I know you probably dont want to and I know you love him but you should.My parents love each other but its so hard growing up with my dad around.I remember when i was little they were constantly fighting.I say try and leave.You dont need him.Good luck and congrats on the baby.

Smarty Pantsâ„¢	You got yourself into a mess, now you gotta get yourself out. If you dont want your child to be exposed to this. You need to either get him professional help or end the marriage. What other options are at your disposal?

onelight	Wondering how long you've been married and how long you two knew each other before you married. Any losses in his life recently. . . person, job, money, sense of self . . . ? Sounds like he is drinking to cover for fears, sense of losses or sadness in his life. Discover the REASON for the drinking...which is something he really has to do . . . and with that discovery of the REASON for drinking...the path can than be taken to end the drinking. I've never dealt with an alcoholic person that has been close in my life...yet that is what comes to mind when I read your question. He has to come to these answers himself...yet you can help by guiding him to the persons who will help him discover those answers. I'm sure you are well aware of alcoholic treatment centers...contact them for guidance. And, as far as your baby...keep yourself peaceful as much as you can...the baby needs that. And...only you will know if as your husband says " you know where the door is "...hurtful moment to hear that and hard moment to decide what to do...Yet...you WILL know what to do. Be careful that you don't fall into the catagory of ' holding yourself emotional hostage '. You DO have choices and decisions to make...Surround yourself with those who will help you achieve your goal...in the case the ' goal ' is not living with a drunken husband and helping him stop drinking. You can't do it on your own...especially with a baby needing you...see out outside help. If your husband will not open himself to any help...Release yourself and your baby from his environment. Seek out help. Strength to you and your husband. .

hah	Hey bump......you may not like her, or you may, but I think Laura Bush said it best when she said to George W.....it's either jim Beam or me...........guess she won.....you don't need this and I don't need to tell you that he will most likey become violent..he should be an asssett to you not a liability....it will be like having 2 children and you can't trust a drunk with your baby...try alanon...it helps.

fourcolor4u2	Sounds like your husband is only doing what he knows, and thats how to be an alcoholic. I recommend that you actually go towards the door and don't let it hit you on the way out. You do not deserve this type of treatment from your husband. Maybe if you are gone and busy taking care of the baby, he will realize what he has lost and think enough of himself to get the help he needs and become a better man. Good luck to you.

auntya	Have you suggested counseling or AA meetings for him? I believe there are AA meetings for spouses to hlep you deal with his problem. The best thing I can tell you is to get on your knees and pray! You do not want your child coming up in a home with an alcoholic father and one that may become abusive. I will keep you in my prayers...

HuniBuniBee	Your husband is showing you who he is. If you do not like that and do not think he will be a good role model, you have to do something about it now. Things will not get any easier. You should suggest he go the alcoholics anonymous; marriage counseling; or figure out why he is drinking so much.

Gasman	Get out now. He's a weak loser. Love can only take you so far with an alcoholic. Do your baby and you a favor and get out.

DrPepper	he will have to accept his addiction and get help, otherwise if he won't accept it, you need to do the right thing to help your children! And you know what to do is right! DO IT!!!!

Lisa	that is your decision....it is tough but you should leave him for awhile and see how he likes that....his alcohol or a family he is the one who mush chose....complaining about it will only make things worse..you need to just step out of the pic until he straitens himself out

Baby Jack born 4/5/09	You know the answer to That. You need to leave him. is this how you want to live your life for the next 10 20 years? Howe boua tyour unborn child. Is this the life you want for them? They WILL pick up on it trust me. SAVE YOURSLEF YEARS OF WASTE.

timo_10	man, things to get bad if he doesn't quit or get it under control. I know first hand. UDPATE: some the answers here show that people don't understand your problem. they just say "get out" it's not that easy. he can be a better man if he gets help. he may need tough love. try not to be an enabler.

1chunx4u	RUN!! FOR YOUR ON GOOD RUN!! WOMEN!!

Majority	GET OUT NOW.