am i over reacting or not?

alicia	my husband is deployed. if i can be faithful so can he. u r obviously alot stronger woman than me cuz i cant forgive cheating. u either have to get over it or get over him. u can always try counseling.

Hydey	Dump his ***.

Proud Mother of 3.	youre not overeacting ...he deserve to stay ...hey by the way what are you doing with this guy ?? he flirting and kissing girls and you still with him??? leave his a$$!

pica858	Geeeez. get over it. Be happy and forget it.

rosabearr ")	Both of you need to seek counseling

Lily	Yep, you are over reacting big time. However I would cut out the booze for him. He doesn't need to go oout without you or get drunk.

African Goddess	Cheating is cheating, it doesnt matter if he told you. So what, does that make it ok? Can I go have a few cold ones and kiss another man in my "moment of weakness"? As long as I tell my husband that makes it all fine right? I dont buy the whole drunk story thats just an excuse people use when they want to do something wrong and be forgiven for it. Sure you feel bad, thats the game some of these men play, they mess up, when you dont trust them, YOU feel bad. Dont feel bad your feelings are right on.

coldrain	If you trust him before this incident, then you should continue to trust him. If you think he did more than just kissing a girl, but believe that he will not do it again, then you should trust him and let him out. You cannot keep an eye on him 24/7 anyway. You may have heard this before that marriage is based on trust. Without it, you should simply get a divorce and stop wasting your time.

Chrissy	He did tell you but it would take me a long while to trust him again (being drunk is no excuse)

Rays Bride	Your feelings are completely normal and it will take a lot of time for you to heal and regain trust. He needs to understand this. You will need to make a decision to forgive him if you are going to stay with him, this doesn't mean everything will be ok after you forgive, most certainly not, but you need to be willing to work through this. I would suggest you see a marriage counselor.

ourotheremailaccount	Whenever you have to ask "am I over reacting", then yes, yes you are. He was mature enough to come forward and confess. So now it's time for you to grow up and stop acting like a child. If he's not going to cheat on you, trapping him in the house and making him miserable is only going to push him away. If he's going to cheat on you, trapping him in the house and making him miserable is only going to push him away quicker. So what's the point? Jealously helps no one.

JadeyOz	He cheated on you plain and simple it doesnt matter if it stopped at the kiss or went further or not he still did it and now what your feeling is the victim's residual guilt . You have been the faithful partner and yet you feel bad for making him feel bad it just comes with the territory and is hard to stop that guilt feeling being there , but until he appologises and shows his remorse and starts making it up to you that feeling isnt going to leave you . Affair rates are higher in the forces then mainstream society because they are away for long period's of time but its no excuse they can practice self restraint . I feel for you because once the trust is gone you can NOT get it back no matter what people tell you or what you try to tell yourself . Good luck your in a weird territory now and you wont walk out unscathed .

kirbdog15	Ok one thing can have you relaxing you told him not go with his buds and he didn't. That means he trust and respects you. As far as the kiss, well that's touchy. Maybe it was. If so I would relax again. He was probaley under pressure from his military crew. The question I would ask myself is has he ever giving you reason in the past to doubt him? Is so then react. If not be glad he is in your arms again.

rinaldo	put him on antabuse so he cant drink and get irresponsible around women

China Doll 3	Trust is everything in a marriage if you don't have that it will not work.

sky	I would have the same reaction as you, because I was taught that if you really love someone you would never hurt them, and that's what he did, hurt you! He needs to know that you're hurt and shocked, and that it's going to take time to heal.

anythingwilldo	I don't want to make things worse but it probably wasn't just kissing. He probably started with that to see your reaction and then stopped the confession when he saw your reaction. He was a long way away - do you really think he is going to stop at kissing when you would never find out - unlikely? He has probably told you a half truth to get it off his chest and now he doesn't want to lose with the whole truth. You will never find out exactly what went down so you have to make a decision - to live with it or give up your marriage.

Mrs. G	I think I would have some trust issues as well. I was in a similar situation once many years ago except that my fiance came home with pictures and letters from the other woman in his sea bag. (how stupid, right?), I stayed with him for another year, only for it to happen again when he was on sea duty. This time he actually went to see the other woman before he came home to me! That was the end of that relationship. Go with your gut.

mimzy	Calm down and don't run him off. At least he told you what happened. He didn't have to. If that's the worst thing he'll ever do, don't worry about it. Give him a break and forget it.

alanabrazil	i'd forgive him. my boyfriend did the same thing and came clean also. you just have to keep in mind that he came clean even though you probably wouldn't have ever found out. that shows he wants to be honest with you because he wants there to be trust between you too. its totally 100% normal for you to have these trust issues now. and trust me, from a girl whos been in your position, you will get over these feelings with time and with his understanding and support. i hope i helped!

j	He was honest, if you love him , forgive him do you want him to keep secrets?

acedelux	He wanted to come clean, he trusted you, and now you repay him by being a *****? Not very many people knows what goes on when they are deployed. Chances are he went through hell and needed some sort of comfort. He respected you enough by not doing the wild thing with the woman, and confessed to you in order to come clean with his conscience. Yes, you have a right to be concerned, even upset. Keep in mind he his human, and probably what he saw out there, he needed a little human reassurance. Forgive and move on.

Alisha	Well he told you and he was drunk. He came out clean, so you should trust him. And when people are drunk well things like that happen sometimes. You should just forget about it and tell him that you trust him completely and mean it. It is sorta hard to do that because you don't want it to happen again, but that is something that goes with marriage - a lot of trust.

Mrs. J	im sure that really hurt and confused you but he told you the truth when he didn't have to and a drunken kiss really isn't the worst thing in the world you have to try and let it go before he feels he can't talk to you any more. and once your Communication is gone so is your marriage. tell him how you feel and reflect your relationship yourself

J K (Semper Fi) Beer is good!!!	You two need to sit down and have a looong talk with each other about this, while being on deployment is hard on him, you need to remind him it is hard on you too and that both of you need to be trustable and faithful to each other while apart from each other, at least he was honest with you about it, so that is a start.

Joe F	You have EVERY RIGHT NOT to trust him because he has proved to you that he can NOT be trusted especially when he drinks.Tell him he can go out, but no more drinking,because it leads him to kissing other girls. Tell him it is going to be LONG time before you will trust him again and to not be mad at you, but he did this to himself and to you.

Lucy H	that's a tough one, becuase i would do the same, if he did it once when he was drunk he can do it again, but maybe you should trust him until he really gives you a reason not to , maybe that was a rare thing and obviously he knew he was wrong, hopefully he will never do it again. you dont want to pressure him too much either then he will just run away from you and go to someone else for comfort. hope that makes sense, becuase i am not sure iu explained it right.

blessed mom	He gave you a reason to not trust him. You should talk to him about how you feel and maybe seek a professional for help. At least he was honest and that is a good thing. I really dont know if I could get over it or not. I am for doing everything possible to save your marriage though.

Jaime M	You know what you need to do. And GET OVER IT! You keep going like this and if ANYTHING EVER happens like that again, You will NEVER know!