can my marriage work out?

Mystic M	Does your wife still have feelings for the other guy? Does she want to get back with you? If you don't feel you can trust her then it probably won't work out.

nursetech	I'm sorry that happen to you but when a wife cheats on her husband it's because she is not happy with him and as for the trust issue your always going to have it in the back of your mine {IS SHE CHEATING ON ME} you have to be a very strong person to stay with a cheater I never was.

confront	IT CAN WORK WITH A LITTLE WORK IF IT IS HARD FOR YOU RIGHT NOW THAN GO SEEK SOME OUT SIDE HELP. I DO KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T-GET THROUGH SOMETHING IF YOU ARE LIVING IN THE PROBLEM YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN THE SOLUTION AND FORGIVE FROM THE HEART TRUST IS GONNA TAKE SOME TIME AND IF SHE IS WORTH IT THAN GO FOR IT THING CAN GET BETTER FOR YOU, YOU HAVE TO WANT THEM TO AND IT IS REAL IMPORTANT TO BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES.

dazed&confused	Trust is the major building block in the foundations of every successful marriage.There is an old saying "it is easier to get a camel thru the eye of a needle than it is to heal a wounded heart" this spoke of violated trust.That does not mean trust cannot be re-established, just that it is a difficult task especially concerning the sanctity of the marriage bed.Only you know if you can work it out, your the one who has to be open to trust being re-established, and she is the one who must do whatever it takes to make that happen.I wish you the best, I personally having been in that situation, in spite of all efforts could not, but I know married friends that have, so again its all about you and her.Good Luck, its decent of you to make the effort,just don't end up a doormat, or get caught up in thinking if you love her enough she will be appreciative and return that love and loyalty, she may not, there is another old saying "screw me once shame on you, screw me twice shame on me"

mindofachild7	yes it can work. Loves can make it happen. Why did she cheat? Does she loves your? If she loves you and with the love you have for her, it can work. Seek counseling.

sharonna	THE ONLY WAY THIS WILL WORK IS IF YOU ASK YOURSELF, "CAN I TRULY FORGIVE HER" IF YOU CAN'T, FORGET IT. IT WILL ALWAYS BE IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND AND YOU WILL CONSTANTLY QUESTION EVERYTHING SHE DOES. SHE SCREWED UP - GO FIND SOMEONE WHO IS TRULY WORTH HAVING YOU!

lance_tollifson	sounds like my situation i tried every possible way to make the marriage work and i still think it might but i am just lying to myself because i have never loved anyone like that i wanted to believe her so bad every time i did it just got worse so just go with your heart and gut at the same time impossible as it seems good luck

nutnut1957	Go to couples counseling. They help a lot so you can work your issues out, and move on with your life

sumant_shera11	you have real sense of fumier. when you are trust with, then result is come out.

jen	Try and work it out. If she wants to as well you can. Does she regret it?

pmcharles123	It can work out if you want it to.Your gonna have to look past her mistake and realize she is only human.I know that doesn't ease the pain,but if you love her and want to be with her it will be worth it in the end.

brandijolove	trust me it will happen again, get out before its too late! You will always be wondering if you can trust her in the back of your mind and life is too short to live that way.

jessy	hI i Hope your pain gets better tht u must feel! My husband cheated on me after a year and half of marriage,I forgave and went along 14 yrs and he did it again! No get out now .Ive watched my girfriends tht cheated on there husbands do it again many yrs later and dump the husbands after the kids are gone for another man.I truly beleive tht your wife will again and u will have invested so much time and it will be wasted ,Some people are just no good .She hurt you and didnt care ,she thought of herself and she will again.I divorced after the second affair after 20 yrs.So much happier after u get thru thr pain .U will see who she really is once u go thru the pain and look back .Your in rose colored galsses right now.I know its hard but dont waste your life on her move on! Take care Bev

sparkling_apple	Yes you can still save your marriage. it is hard for one to learn to trust another once that trust has been broken. Sometimes marriages loose there course and It is up to you to get it back on track. Try communicating with her.It sounds as though the communication between you two has not been so good. You may find that all she needed was a little more attention. If you truly love your wife and want to make it work find a counselor and start talking. But make sure YOU make the best decision for you.

cutecorrectgirl	Talk about it and possibly get a neutral party involved like a marriage counselor in the situation to help you out. I wish you all the best.

bluffmike	No. Once a cheat, always a cheat. Throw her stuff out in the yard.

Goofy2006	Well if you love her than give her another chance.If she does it again than divorce her.

jaimestar64cross	Try and see if the two of you really have what it takes to deal with this affair and repair your own marriage --- trust is earned... is she willing? are you willing to really forgive her? Sat down and you both lay all the issues on the table and deal with each one... Listening is a major part of working through this ---communciate your real feelings to each other--- if you both need help with this try marriage counseling...work together--- keeping romance alive is something you work at --- each day.

germanchik413	If you want to try to keep your relationship, look at it from every perspective. How do you think it would affect her and you? But if it was me, and I loved that person the way you say you do, I would go back to them, but eventually, their actions would rip my heart apart and drive me crazy, because I was foolish enough to trust them, only to have my heart stomped on even more. So in my opinion, if you think she could change, see a marriage counslor, or just sit down and have a talk with her and see what she thinks about the situation. that's about all I can tell you. good luck sir!

goldnrod	Had the same situation and got it worked out. The best advice I can give you, that will help you get through this, is to read a book I came across, when I too, was seeking advice. It's called "Dark Nights of the Soul", by Thomas Moore. It will help you understand how to find your way through this ordeal.

bhemsom	you know if the question was the other way the answers would be to get rid of him, so in the interest of consistency, throw her out.

sonny	I don't know if it will work out. It will always be in the back of your head that she cheated. The trust issues will be hard to achive. You say you love her. Does she feel the same? Why did she cheat? There must of been a reason.It can work if you can honestly forgive and forget, and put it behind you, never to be talked about again. Even when you have an arguement. Especially then! Maybe a marriage counsler can add some help. Just a thought. Anyway, good luck and I hope you won't lose her.

rsnurse2005	well it involves a lot of work... for both of you.... if she cheated you guys need to go to a counselor at the nearest church of your choice... then once you forgive her , you have to forget it forever and never bring it up again and if you cant do that it wont work... she has to be very upset and regretful of what she has done and she has to express this to you deeply... go to counseling!!!

Canada Lady	yes it can work if you both are ready to really committ to it

grandm	Personally, I'm a firm believer that once trust is gone, it's gone forever. Without trust, there's no basis for marriage. If your beliefs are different, then go for marriage counseling. Whatever you decide, good luck!

destine4_69	You state that you love your wife and do not want a divorce! Does your wife feel the same about you! Your wife made a very serious mistake! but, love can pull both of you through if you are willing to work things out! I would reccommend that you and your wife keep the communication line open during this time of hardhip. You each will need the other to bring this relaitonship back together. I know that you are hurting but she is hurting also. There was something else that she thought she needed to bring her to the point of deception! You and she can both work to fix the problem. If the two of youcan not work it out on your own...seek counseling....Do not give up on your woman! Love is worth fighting for! GOOD LUCK!

shoshidad	Get a professional marriage counselor involved. Go to your local bookstore and browse the self-help section for books on building relationships. Good luck.

First L	Talk her.Try rebuild your marriage. Maybe search one priest or social advise and ask her what she hate in you.Don t lose your marriage friend