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do i file for divorce or just stay separated wid my husband of 11 years and father of 5 children?
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do i file for divorce or just stay separated wid my husband of 11 years and father of 5 children?

we have separated many times in the past. lately its been 2 months. hes moved out but refusing to help financially.but i know in time he wil help its only now coz hes hurting.am hurting too but so many mistakes had happend that living together sometimes was very difficult and frustrating.we have different religions.he said he stil loves me and does not wish to marry someone else in the future as his personal wish and religiously he is not allowed. i stil love him too but living togther is hard.we somehow get on well living apart.when he comes to see the kids its more peaceful and happier wid no aggravations and fights.so do i file it or just stay separated and see what future holds??

Only you can answer that question. Is this life you have with your husband enough for you? Are you starting to resent each other because of your differences? It can be a lonely existence being in this type of relationship. Does this interfere with the children's lives, having a mom and dad that are not together ...or happy? Children can feel if something os wrong. You have to weigh the pros and con's of staying married...and not. If you're asking this question, you're already at your wits end. Someone has to reach a decision here before all concerned are torn apart. Do what you feel is right, and necessary. Someone will get hurt, it's unavoidable. I hope it turns out the best way for all concerned. Good luck, I hope this helps.

eventually he will meet somebody then you'll know how you really feel, why are you thinking about destroying a family of 5 children? they deserve two parents together, how can you put them through this? you're all equal members in that family, why ruin their childhood?

Stay separated for now - it's only been 2 months. What religions are you? I realize that religion can be a big barrier in relationships, because it is often the core of a person's beliefs and can affect their lifestyle very much. If you both still love each other, I believe there is hope yet. Eventually you should both sit down and talk about the issues, and try to get to a point where you respect each others different lifestyles. Seeing a good relationship counselor is also a good idea. See if there is a way that you can both compromise and live in a compatible situation. If there is no chance of compatibility, then divorce may be the only option.

if this is habitual and it couldn't be fixed then might as well quit wasting time and end it now-move on and make a better life for both of you

love and life
um nooo

maybe he should live apart for a little while. Another tip is make sure he has a refuge he can go to, to get away from the family when he needs to. My husband has a "man cave." it's our spare bedroom and it's his space for the things he's interested in with a TV, video games, collectible toys and a radio for when he wants to escape.

♥The Mrs.♥
Separated "many" times? Its quite obvious at least one of you is not taking this marriage seriously. Either some major things are going on (in which case you should divorce) or someone or both of you are petty and not really ready for marriage (in which case you should divorce).

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