do you think if a man has cheated on you, and lied numerous times you should still stay for the kids?

joplynne	apsolutely not. The kids want you to be happy. Being lied to and cheated on with slowly take away all your self worth. Save yourself and get out. There is no true way to spare everyones feeling when dealing with your husbands flawed character. There is a loss of the family unit. But for the sake of your children don't expose them to his wrong behavior anymore. It will not allow you to be the mother you should be and will set a terrible example of how to treat one another.

acilias	don`t take arush decision it`s ahub of your life did you discuss with him about lied?? did you tried to help him to stop lying?? i want you to tell him that you will give him one last chance then you won`t stay any more

koolkaw	I was in a similar situation and I had to leave with my daughter. We left everything and moved far away. Today, we are both happier and healthier for leaving him. Familiarity breeds contempt. By staying for the kids you all will suffer tremedously, self esteem, pride, etc. Don't stay for the sake of saying that your married to someone who obviously does not respect you or the children. He has no sense nor concern for you or your marriage.

The Lonely Skywolf	I would say no. But Don't allow your kids to see him.

patchouli	no,no, no!!! I know it's tempting to stay, especially if you are a stay at home mother without any real marketable skills or you don't have money saved or are nervous about going back into the workplace or the million other reasons you might contemplate staying...among them you may still love him (?!) but I am telling you as a grown woman whose parents stayed together for the kids for way longer than they should have, please don't. kids are not stupid. even though they may not understand the complexities of the relationship or exactly what is going on, they know and feel that someting is wrong. they hear the whispered arguments at night or witness the sarcasm or silence at the dinner table or the absence of a parent at the dinner table. children very often blame themselves as they do not understand adult relationships and need to find SOME reason for why things are wrong. I know when my parents finally split up, me and my siblings breathed a sigh of relief. and we were only like 10, 9 and a baby. but we knew. ok, not the baby but me and the 9 year old. we knew. and life got so much better when he left. no m ore tension. sure we were poorer, but we had a much happier life with no arguing or tension or strife. so please...find a way to leave. you are not helping your children by staying. keeping the family together for the sake of having a mom and dad is an antiquated idea and doesn't do anyone any favors. have the strength to go. your kids will ultimately thank you.

*wonderful lady*	i think as long as you guys get along, with and around the children, its fine. if you've forgiven him, i would be surprised and give you props...i couldnt do so. ive been cheated on NUMEROUS times, all with guys i was with for atleast a couple years...i loved them too much to let it interfere. but in the end..."once a cheater always a cheater" is pretty much FACT and "liars lie all the time" its like a disease almost incurable for some reason! i say .... stay if he treats you right. and as long as your kids dont witness your guys' arguments or bickering if any...its hard on them, especially if the find out that you guys are miserable but only together BECASUE OF THEM. :(

I love my husband	Absolutely not. You are probably fighting all the time and that environment is not good for children. You children will grow up better adjusted if you two are not at each other's throats all the time.

Chris	Let's do everything for the kids. Eat ice cream and jelly beans for dinner and run away and join a circus. Don't blame a decision to stay on the kids. If you can't repair the marriage through hard work, counseling and prayer, divorce and get support for the kids. If you want to stay and accept the behavior, don't blame the kids. However, you can blame yourself 50% later when they mimic his behavior...OR YOURS.

lil debbie	OKAY I HAVE BEEN THROUGH WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THE ONLY THING IS I DONT HAVE ANY KIDS but my opinion is this if a man is lying to you he dont care about you are your realtionship with him, and if he is cheating on you knowing you have kids he could care less about you or that child or children you see what I am saying ? so what you need to do now is go and pack up all his stuff go to the court house get custody of your kids and tell him to get the hell out and dont be easy because if he thinks there is better out there then he needs to be with that better and if he is cheating on you with her then you already know what he is going to do with her so if you love yourself and those kids then do like i did move on and i knw it is going to be hard at first but hunny time heals all wounds believe me i know i been through and if you have to move then do so but make sure you get custody bee good and do it for the kids

Gucci S	NO!!!!! Your kids will understand when they get older. Get out of the relationship before it turns ugly. Good Luck

sagie29	NO.staying for the kids is an excuse. What are you going to teach the kids. it will be hard, but move on, get all the help and support you need from family and friends , and don't wait for things to get harder. My brother is going through the same thing and now his wife is taking him for everything. good luck

BRITCOURT	Ash yourself this question-Are you happy? If you said yes, then stay. Kids aren't happy unless their parents are happy!

the Helper	I was in your situation with my kids mom..I left..started a new life and things only got better for me..I didn't ask her for anything except to spend some time with them so that they can still say they have a mom..Obviously you are miserable in your relationship or just plain unhappy..I don't know..but if you are here asking this question..i hope my answer helps..for your sake and the children..do what's best for you all...good luck

Karramel	No you shouldn't stay for the kids. If forgiveness and trusting the man again isn't involved and your feelings have changed let the man move on.

graphixgirlin06	No, I don't think its a good idea, for one your not happy, and obviously neither is your husband. Staying together for the kids, is one of the worst things you could do. Kids sense these things when their parents are not happy, the hear you argue, they feel your not happy...it ends up hurting the kids. It is also not good for them to see it, it could hurt their future relationships when they get older...remember kids learn a lot from what they see. Yes, divorce is also hard on kids, but it does make a difference on the kids when they have Happier parents! hope this helped..

Kayla L	Absolutly not! Your kids will understand whether its now or later but you deserve to be happy too. Just make sure they understand whats happening and why. They love you and they would want you to be happy.

ken401lam	no, get the picture of his action, file divoces, have him pay for child support

willow_raevynwood	It really is your own decision and you need to figure out if you can forgive him for what he's done or not. If you can't, then you need to leave. Your kids will be able to tell that you 2 are having problems and it will lead them to have issues of their own. If you can forgive him, then seek counciling.

janicajayne	If you can live with it continuing then stay. If you can't, then leave.

Trollhair	He didn't just lie and cheat on you. He lied and cheated on your kids. Is that a good environment to have them grow up in? People need to start taking responsibility for their actions. I hope he has a good job. Child support is approx. 32% for two children. At least you will have some money coming in. If you can catch him in the act of adultery you might get alimony. Depends on your state. Nail the pig.

StarShine G	No you are hurting the kids by staying . they know and sense you are having problems... leave.. the kids will adjust . you will to.

halfcracker	Not if you want your kids to respect you when they're old enough to know the truth. Your sons will treat their wives that way, and your daughters will end up tolerating men who treat them that way. Even GOD says you can leave after infidelity.

bellagirl1414	DEFINITELY NOT! Why should you subject yourself to a lifetime of misery, knowing that he is unfaithful and wondering everytime he leaves the house... You will be so emotionally unstable and your children will suffer for it! You should leave now and start a new, secure life for your children.

tko43078	Heck no. The kids will be happier not having him around too.

ME	It's a tricky situation I've been there, I chose to leave...my children are happier and more loved by the man I'm with now, it really is your call...good luck

andrea_bazile	no take ur kids wit u and leave him while it is a work

38C	NO. Don't. The kids will understand when they get older. When you are sad they are sad

Michelle :	no!!! the child will know there isnt true love there and he will suffer right along with you and your man.

bmoline	NO

JabbaWockee	well... its ur decision... we r not living ur life!