does my ex have to be there when i meet his new girlfriend for the first time?

we have a 4 year old daughter together. we have broken up a year now and we have no feeligs for each other so no worries about jealousy. she seems nice and id prefer if he wasnt there so i can get to know her without him observating the whole thing. i feel when i ask this of him he will not agree and dont know why. he even told me he explained to her that i was nice so should there be a problem for him im not a man so dont know how they think like that haawww if only you guys knew what he was like hes actually rushing me to meet this girl thanks ginger. i think there will be alot of tension with him there. i mean he can introduce us but then id want him to go. i think we could have girly chats and it would be more relaxed too.

muddlingalong	"Honey, its going to be girlie chats you know. You'd be better off clearing of to go play billiards or something. But if you wanna stay........? That's fine" And make sure it IS girlie chats as well. He'll soon buzz off

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.	I'm wondering how serious he is with this girl. Are you going to want to meet EVERY one of his girlfriends? If this is someone he is going to spend quite a bit of time with then I think you have the right to meet her since she is going to be around your daughter. If it were my girlfriend then I wouldn't have a problem with you meeting her alone.

ginger w	If you guys don't have any feelings for each other i wonder why he doesn't like that? Maybe he's afraid you'll tell the new girl something bad about him? Just assure him that you will be respectful of him to her. I think it would make you both relaxed if he weren't there anyway.

Their mommy!	Is this the girlfriend he's known for a month? Back off, lady. He has every right to be there. I'd be creeped out if my boyfriend's ex wanted to have some "alone time" with me. There should be nothing that you have to say to her that he can't hear.

charles	NO

r m	would you like your new boyfriend meeting your ex husband alone for the first time without you there? what i don't understand,is why you have to "meet" with his girlfriend in the first place. the two of you are divorced, and your new partners are no concern of business of the other, neither do either of you need the consent or approval of the other. wierd....

Sophie	Why do you want to meet her without him? Are you still friendly with your ex, as in do you meet up to do things as friends, not just for the benefit of your child? If not, I don't think it's really relevant or necessary for you to meet up with his new girlfriend without him being there.

Agnostic Queen	I think it would be too awkward for her to meet you without him there..... after all this is about you and him and your daughter, meeting her is only so you feel comfortable with your daughter being with her father and the new girlfriend. You should all meet for a lunch some place casual..... keep the conversation light.... you will know in minutes if you like her and can see your daughter around her.... thats really what this is about right? If you both feel comfortable maybe down the road you two can take your daughter someplace public and have some chat time without your husband around... like the zoo.

sheloves_dablues	Is there a reason you need to get to know her? The only thing that matters is that your ex ensure that anyone in contact with your daughter is safe. Whether you know the person or "approve" of them is irrelevant.

Scouse	Perhaps she does not want to meet you without him being there. In honesty you may quite like her or even like her lots even trust her but I do not think you can be friends

Jessi Lowrie	you could ask her what she thought about it like without him knowing but not it being a secrete because you wouldnt want him to think you were going behind his back with that.

Lorena is ready to Bob-It	What is wrong if he wants to be there?