friends fat wife?

ready	you butt out!!!!! he needs to love his wife

Bruce W	he's into exercising and gym stuff, then she must be into doing dishes, laundry and lifting baskets of cloths, pushing a vacuum cleaner, and house cleaning of all sorts and this to is called excersice, maybe not in a gym but still it takes energy to do. keeping him happy by doing these things around the house isn't really considered sitting around. is he looking @ it this way or just assuming she sits around the house. he really needs to know what she does do while hes away at the gym and take it from there.

carmine r	fairness has nothing to do with it. she must be content doing what she is doing or not doing. either way that is her choice and she is entitled to make it. maybe if he would talk to her they could reach a compromise. maybe she would be willing to exercise one or two days a week. he could join her. it might help the relationship. just my ideas. hope it helps.

Rachel	Unfortunately, he believes in taking care of himself and she doesn't. There's not much he can do, perhaps he can suggest they workout together - but only she can truly decide to make that effort and more then likely she will continue to remain the same.

I LUV CARPET/VINYL ETC.	fat people need love too....if he loves her let them be..

scubalady01	Fair? This has nothing to do with fairness. What if she earned twice as much as he does. Should she be giving him hell to earn more to make it fair? If she takes a shower twice a day and he takes one once a day, should she tell him to do it twice to be fair? I hope you see how ridiculous this is. If he doesn't like her being fat, then that's between him and her. He can encourage her to lose weight if he doesn't like her size, but ultimately, the decision is hers. If she decides to stay fat and he's unhappy, then he needs to draw the consequences and leave. That may sound a bit harsh, but it's the truth. Arguing about fairness and complaining to friends is just childish. Geez...

beanerjr	your friend sounds like a whiner why is he complaining to you are you going to fix this for him.

IT'll GETCHA DRUNK!!!	he needs to talk to her about it then.

William Wallace	Without getting a female in on this I can tell you two are heading for a disaster. You need to say nothing to her at all, him on the other hand needs to be more about the issue of health and he needs to approach her like come with me and we can do this together or he needs to tell her he wants her to be healthy so they will have a long life together and so on. I would get a friend of hers involved in it and see if she can get somewhere first. And quit using the word fat, by using that word and she somehow here's her being referred to as the fat wife will totally blow any self esteem she may have had. Good luck.

k9dad	It's ultimately his problem because it's his wife not yours. So you have to work on changing his thinking if that's possible. What does he do to motivate her himself, because you didn't say in your question. She may have physical problems know by her Dr. that prevents her from exercising. She just might resent his working out at the gym so much. She may be insecure about going because of perception of there's all these skinny girls flaunting themselves at the gym anyway so why should I sweat my %^& of just to look like them. He has to find ways to motive her starting in his home first instead of confiding in you. Hopefully he can turn it around so you can here how he has got her out just walking. A positive conversation instead of the negative ones your having.

Wen	Good luck with ur friends wife.......mayb if u and ur friend started by askin her to go on short walks n build them up to a 30min walk then she might just get up n start doin things without any one pestering her....or she may be havin hassels at work or with family or other friends....have u tried talking to her to find out why she is like this in the first place.... Did u stop to think ur friends wife may have a medical problem aswell.....mayb if he wasn't so inlove with himself he might notice his wifes needs....and not just his own.....if u or ur friend r of small build then u 2 should just thank ya lucky stars ...that ur not FAT...

Me	If it upsets him that much, why doesn't he do activities with her? They can take walks together and do stuf together.

WHOISTHEPUPPETMASTER?	that's a decision that she has to make for herself.....if she ends up going to the gym to work out just because someone else does it, she won't be happy about it. she really has to want to do it and be motivated to enjoy it. He should encourage her about the health benefits in exercising, but he should not force her. p.s. instead of the gym, there are other forms of exercise she may consider........tennis/ walking/ bike riding/ swimming........he can join her in some of these activities for encouragement as well

crankyissues	Sounds like your friend should express his concerns to his wife instead of you-- That is a very touchy subject for most women, and should be handled between husband and wife..... not husband, wife, and friend of husband! If he loves her, then he should invite her to join him in activities to get her out of the house, then work up to the gym-- but she should never know that he involved his friends in his worries about her being "fat".....

as03149	definetly make it a couple thing. once he gets her to the gym chain her to a walker and NEVER let her off till shes normal. the above posters are lunatics. myob? these people are friends, friends share there thoughts. should love her for who she is? of course you should...you can always love someone, but you might not like some things they do which is ok. just get her interested somehow.

Jane Marple	I would never marry a man who goes to the gym every day! They're superficial and self-centered. Maybe a guy who goes 2-3 times a week cause he's concerned with his health but Never with a gym addict. I bet she has 8-10 lbs extra and he qualifies her as 'fat'.

Queen	You can't make her eralize she is being unfair. You are not in their mariage. He can tlak to his wife and start going shopping with her...choosing healthier foods and parking farther from the Grocery Store...so she can take that extra walk... then he could hold her hand or kiss her or something out of the ordinary.... and then try and tell her " we should do this more often" and start setting up days when they take walks together around the park.. She won't know what hit her when she starts dropping off those pounds!

Sabrina Devareoux	get out of that situation now. there is no reason for grown adults to think lifes always fair. there are health conditions that prevent weight loss.

sasy_kibuta	they have to discuss it..he can convince the wife but he should not get mad if the wife refuse to

jezyka	how is she not being 'fair' He's living his life, she's living hers. It's not effecting her. If he has such a problem with it, why did he marry her in the first place?

kim t	The tow of them should go together, great idea!!!

Urban Hermit	tell your friend just hit on the "Dumb Belles" on the jim.

NY	tell your friend to spend time with his wife like window shopping or playing badminton or basketball to help the wife into sport & also the best way to spend time as husband & wife :)

Cathy	Was she the same size when they got married? Either way, it's not your problem. How would you like it if your wife (or girlfriend) asked her friends how to tell you you're too small?

keral	take exercises in home

Jordan	This has nothing to do with you but " your friend" should make it a couple thing. Throw little subtle hints!

tmc0037	You're right, that isn't fair. Convince him to sit on the couch all day too. Then they'll be even.

Shavon	Why can't they go to the gym together? Make it a couple thing.

just a girl	if he loves his wife he should not care some much about how much she weighs but who she is on the inside.

M R	What the heck does fair have to do with it?