how can i convince my future wife that by taking my last name,it will not hurt her career?

leona	First of all taking your last name shouldn't hurt her career it should boost it up. Secondly i think you need to ask her if she is ashamed of you and your name or something. anyways she can still have yours and her name, dude is called a hyphen.

Spiral_Dancer	The question I would be asking next is: What EXACTLY is her career that makes her last name an all-important thing? The only thing that comes to mind is if she is a movie-star or celebrity, and if that is the case, you have to admit, a name means ALOT as a Star & if she's already made a "name" for herself, you're going to be hard pressed to get her to change it. Otherwise, if this is just some simply issue of her just not wanting to, I would try to be progressive & supportive & let her roll with it, if that is what she wants! "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet!" What does she think about hyphenating (sp?) it? Otheriwse, I would say love her for who she is: a strong, independant woman who loves you enough to marry you, but wants to assert that independence regardless of her marital status & keep her family name.

miranda s	Tell her that she isn't gonna lose anything buy taking you name. in fact she will gain something. you. and if she is worried about herself over you and your relationship. then you guys need to talk about more than what color you want the bridesmaid dresses are going to be.

daljack -a girl	Respect your wife's decision to keep her name. She's going to marry you so that should prove her commitment.

Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot	I moved my maiden name to my middle name and took my husband's last name. I think it better defines who I am. And since it's still my name, I don't feel silly writing it out/using it.

butrcupps	Sorry, guy, it's a personal choice and more women are doing just that. It doesn't make them any less married. I don't know if the career reason isn't really just an excuse. I think women like to be more independant these days and keeping their last name is a statement.

zether	how about you take her last name just kidding if she doesn't want to take your last name then tough, but if she is using her career as an excuse then perhaps you should look at it as a sign of her being selfish and only thinking about herself, and maybe you should just drop her and be done with it

Sufi	how can you convince her if it's not true. prove why it is true. get some women who changed their names and then got lots of big promotions. i think it might be true depending on her profession. think about how you would feel about changing your name and if it would impact your career. talk and understand.

SeAwAvEs	But it may hurt her career... kinda like how everyone thought the world would end in Y2K because the century was going to change and if they did then no one would be able to hire the number and their pay checks may get lost and.... wait actually thats not really like it at all now that I think about it.....but some banks did have problems dating stuff.... maybe shes worried about that? why don't you take her name?

dashiznititis	You forgot to mention what her profession is, because it might hurt her career if shes an actor, model, or polotician. Name recognition can mean alot in certain fields. Sorry im not much help, but she may have a legitimate point.

iamacarguyru	Would it hurt her career? Is her name tied to her success? Or is her career tied to her talents and skill?

Dr. Bodivine	Why don't you come to a compromise and let her keep hers and put your last name with a hyphen? There is no need for her to take your last name. It is an old fashioned practice, which is very chauvinistic.

TO	if you love her, respect her decison! Do not force her to take your last name if she does not want to. you want your marriage to last forever or your last name??

hey_finny	screw what her last name will be man, what's important is that you're male children will one day have your last name, that's what's important, the bloodline.

LEWG	It probably won't hurt her career, but I'm sure alot of people won't know who she is at first with your last name. Also, that's who she is - tell her to add your name to hers....if you are convinced that it's ok. I know you really want her to change it to yours but it's 2007 and most women are now just adding the last name - it's kind of like we don't want to lose our identities.... from a hypenated woman who's children will have my hubby's last name :)

swamp elf	How can you guarantee that? What is your name. Is she established already with her own name. Perhaps you are being selfish or stubborn or something. Old fashioned.You can not convince her.

thebillthatknows	if you have an African name and she is white then it may be bad for her depending on her profession , allot of people are still racist and would not "deal" with her just because of that

Hollynfaith	Honey, this isn't something you convince someone to do. This is part of the tradition of marriage. And either she is traditonal or she's not. You can't force someone to be someone they are not. However, if the ceremony you are about to have is of the traditional nature, then you may want to consider talking to her using that approach. Tell her how it makes you feel to keep her own name. I hate to do this, but you may also want to ask yourself what you are getting into. I am of a very traditional upbringing. Taking on my husband's last name was part of the committment honey....my committment to him, we joined as one. If your fiance is so adament about not changing her name for the sake of her career, you may want to question where you fit into the equation. Are you always going to be willing to take a back seat to her career? Because this is just the start sweetie. My advice would be to speak up before it's too late. And while you are talking to this woman, be compassionate, understanding and firm with your feelings. Don't let her make you feel bad for wanting this. This is important to you...and if that's the case, being that the two of you are about to join in marriage, it should be important to her too. Remind her that a name does make the person....a person makes the name.

jo.joggers	let her make her own mind up..though in the olden days when marriage was made the woman took the mans name its a modern day thing to not take it...is her carrer the only reason? i guess it could hurt her career but i doubt it...

GrzlyBear8	What's her career? Is she a journalist or a television news person?

Russell	how would it hurt her career??

effy z	lol

Isabella	I was so very proud to take my husband last name . But on the other hand ,i was sad loosing my maiden name ,i was daddy's little girl and having my dad's name was a honor . so to solve my sadly dilemma ,i make sure i sign my name always my last name ,and maiden name .

pepper	She can use your name in public - but maintain her maiden name on business records and personal financial records. If you have discussed this with her and she is adamant about the issue - will it deter your union? A deal-breaker? I'm sure she won't care if anyone refers to her as "Mrs. so-n-so" but it's quite another thing if she has her own business, especially if the business name and her name are one in the same. No argument (to convince) will be valid without knowing her specific reasons for wishing to maintain her name.

sarlha	It's not going to hurt her career. Women get married all the time. Names change. It sounds like she is just making excuses, and doesn't want to take your name. Can you live with her not having your last name? Can you accept that? Jane Doe and Bob Smith?

hdoyle1967	Taking your name is great but what if all her clients or whatever only know her by her maiden name. If you agree to have the same names its normal for you to want your childrens names under you name but this has to be made clear before you get married. What do you want and what does she want talk to her and understand that it may be just a name not something that degrades you. Talk about it communication is the key to any relationship, take care Heather

thedrisin	Yeah... see David's answer! This kills me how men who insist that women take their names never "think" about how they would feel if they were to take their wives' names. Put yourself in her shoes. And if you're willing to take her name, then do it.

David J	Hey I have wondered this...... why don't you take her last name? Neat twist but I bet most men would baulk at the idea of it. Now after reading that think about how a woman might feel about changing her last name to yours? Hmmm. Got you thinking didn't it. Good Luck

Joy	that may not be one you can win. Why will it bother you so much if she doesn't?

bad angel	zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzâ€¦