how to make my husband be kind to me cause now I am pragnant I am from asian?

L	were you a mail order bride? Tell them you want an upgrade!

The Naughty Librarian	Stand up for your baby! Tell your husband you cannot do all the things you usually do because you are pregnant. He will just have to wait. Some men don't really think about the baby before it's born because they can't see it and they don't feel it like you do inside of you. Talk about the baby often to remind him. Make sure you let him feel the baby kick and ask him to come to doctor's appointments with you so he can see the sonogram and hear the heartbeat. Talk to his son about the baby that is coming and tell him how he will be able to help take care of it and play with it.

crusinana1	if you want a happy life , leave him its not worth putting up with bull s--- lif is to short and you need to think of your baby, there are places you can go and make him think,of what he is doing to you he sounds so selfish and mean good luck and wish you all the happyness in the world,again good luck

Divine Miss M	Dear Asian Wife, Please go and find other Asian women who you can talk to and become friends with. You are not your husbands slave if you are in America, and he cannot hurt you or your baby, just because he is older or American. There are Asian Women's Groups who can help you if you are an abused or unhappy woman. You seem to know how to use the Internet, so try to find a group that you can contact that way. Where do you live? I know there are some Asian Women's groups in the NY area for Example Asian Americans for Equality. Good luck and G-d Bless!

Sassy Woman	It sounds like your husband is set in his ways and isn't changing anytime soon. Believe me you would not be the first single mom raising children. I have beeen raising my 11.5 year old by myself no government funds no child support just old fasion hard work try it it works.Stop filling sorry for urself only u can change ur life.

Holly	aawww, hunny thats ruff!!! i'm sorry your in this situation! first of all i want to say i will pray for you! because its not easy to be where you are, with out anyone on your side for support. i may not have the best advice but what i can give you is spiritual support. sometimes well most times, you cant really change a man, :(

S007	Look for women associations in your area online or in the phone book - they can help you make a transition to a new life. It sounds like you are abused, if not physically, definitely mentally, you are a free woman, you are NOT this man's slave! I've been there, being abused by a very controlling husband, it took me 5 years, but I finally left him - I was all alone in a foreign country too but I wasn't pregnant. I just want to let you know, it can be done, you just need to want to leave enough and contact the right people who will help you. Good luck to you and your little one.

mizryLayne	If he didnt start out being nice he wont start - Hardest thing you'll ever do is walk out the door but its the best thing for you to do. There are a ton of places that can help you get started on your own no matter where you live. If you dont feel safe trying to leave call the police for help - that's why they're there. You need to concentrate on making sure you're happy and healthy and you bring a child into a caring, loving environment and it sounds like that isnt going to happen where you are now.

m d	leave him you deserve better. you can't make some one change

ashleybredesen	if he is mistreating you.....leave!!!! you should not have to go through that. if you don't have family, call the woman abuse hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). they will help you find a way to deal with this better than most of us here could. good luck!

shecklalonavitch	Does he realise the baby is his, i mean does he have any reason to doubt it, also is he having an affair, i only ask these questions because it sounds like he is cruel and might hurt you, sometimes men will kill pregnant women if they think the child is not theirs or if they are having an affair, i don't want to scare you because it is rare but i know that it could be a potential danger. You need to make sure you take care of yourself and the baby. If he is violent to you you should contact a domestic violence hotline to get more information and help , including womens shelters.

MK	I wish you had not got pregnant. Would have been easier to leave him. I hope you are educated. Let me say one thing: If you take it, he will give more = negative things. Right from day 1 you should have put your foot down. If u are in the US, it is easier to get help against him. So be brave and stand up. He will never change.

peter s	I am so sorry for you. If you are not here legally, you could report you to immigration, and they will pay your way home. It may be better. There are also agencies for immigrant people, that will help you. Also, places were abused women can go. You don't deserve to be treated this way.

Aredhel	Sorry to say this, but: WHY DID YOU MARRY HIM? He really doesn't sound like a "caring" husband. You cannot force him to love you & the baby, but you definately can say "THAT'S IT: I'm done cleaning!" You should have more respect for yourself! And you deserve better! If I were you... I would tell him: "WHAT? If you're that smart... go do it yourself!" I hope you're not a situation were you "need" to stay with him... 'cause you should definately leave the house. I always say: "If I need to clean and cook for somebody who's always complaining... why not be SINGLE and just cook and clean just for myself? At least this way I only do it when I feel like!"

badkarma	divorce his dumb ***. call dshs and get help,they have shelters and help for such problems

Roland'sMommy	If he's just nagging, you can IGNORE that. Just stop cooking and cleaning. He'll get the point. If he doesn't like the way you do things, he can do it himself, right? After a few months of having to do things himself, he'll probably be grateful for your assistance. If he's abusive in any way, they have women's shelters you can go to. You need to put yourself and your baby first. I might also suggest counseling - for both of you, it might help understand how to communicate better.

Helpfulhannah	So very sad =( Normally I wouldn't recommend leaving the father of your child, but it sounds like you need to move back with your family or you will be miserable all of your life. Best of luck to you and God Bless you and the baby

lheng:)	you're saying you're an asian? where exactly?

Sara D	Find a sponsor and get the h*ll out now because if he doesn't respect you now, he never will!

sugarscamp	Are you saying you're in a foreign country without your family to care for you? Well I'm afraid there's nothing you can do if he's the way he is, just try to win over his heart, recapture the moment when you were first in love. I'm sure it will work better for you in time Good luck!

gamedic6304	If he won't work on your marriage too (or even admit there is something wrong) you cannot fix it yourself. If he is the type who believes females should be pregnant and in the kitchen, then I doubt you can convince him to change. At least try to get him to see there is a problem. Then work on getting him to counseling. Good luck.

Proud Spainard 88	Pae e-mail me and I will answer your question and your concerns. michaels.

nuniestar	You need to tell him that you are hurting and that everything he does effects you and the baby equally! Maybe tell him that you are unhappy with the situation and that you two could possibly see a counselor. Maybe he doesnt realize that it is upsetting you. You need to tell him EVERYTHING about how you are feeling, make him realize that you are pregnant and you shouldnt be under all this stress that he is bringing upon you! Good luck!

berlytea	you leave his a--! no man is in the position to order his woman around-he's a controlling piece of crap! do you want your baby to suffer through this as well?

rosie recipe	it would probably have been better to solve this before you got pregnant. Personally, I sholdn't want to get pregnant by a man who was unkind to me

â™¥â™«i luvâ™¥â™«juicy fruitâ™¥â™«gum	beat him up

Senior08	Leave him