is it abusive if...?

williams7eleven	tell your husband to keep up the good work!

cfoster001	If your husband is doing those kinds of things to your son, then he is abusing him. He is abusing him verbally and physically. That is no way to discipline and no way to treat your son. It seems to me that your husband has a problem with his anger. I would consider on you telling him that he needs counseling. Because what he is doing to your son, will also lead your son to seek counseling too. As parents, you are suppose to PROTECT your children, not HARM them. And you as a parent should not stand by and witness this, because you are also to blame! If you know this is happening, then you need to do something about it. If your husband never apologized, which he probably won't, then that tells you that he is not going to stop what he is doing. So do what is right and protect your children and get your children and yourself out of there as soon as possible!

jude	he is abusing the boy, and this will affect your son later on in life by your son having a low self worth, or he will become an abuser to his children, because this is what he is seeing from his role model. perhaps your husband was abused by his dad as a child. does cause real damage. your husband has an anger issue. needs to get in anger management. he is taking it out on the poor child, cause your husband doesn't really like himself. if he refuses to get the therapy get him out of your home and away from the boy. it is up to u as his mom to protect your son, it is your responsibility not to allow this bully to take away your son's self worth. your child comes first, your son is probably very afraid of his dad.

gabby	your husband needs to learn self control( remember the saying: keep your hands too yourself) i don't believe in spanking or pushing-good luck-

mjohnson1422	He is clearly mentally, emotionally and verbally abusive. He should not be pushing him at all and if he pushes hard enough for you son to fall down I would say that is physically abusive. You should call the Dept. of Children and Families for guidance and protection.

Stickman	i truly believe in disiplining your child, in everyway! that includes giving him or her a smack. however, i believe this would become a problem when it is the ONLY way to comunicate with your son! which is the picture you've painted, so my advise is that one after noon when you've got some time to yourself, confront him! Don't attack him, but just tell him that you've noticed that hes been hitting him more and more and you don't agree and remind him that if he (your son) is to truly learn from his mistakes then he needs to understand why he's being punished not just the pain ....which requires communication from the Dad to the son! hope this helps, Nick

sheila, TTC	i think your the cause of your son's clumsiness is that he is so afraid of your husband. if your husband wanted something done right he should of done it himself, he should of went to buy the disks himself. do not allow your husband to continue abusing your son. this time it was a shove, next time it might be a punch in the gut or face. yes it is abuse.

Savannah	this is a sign of abuse yes. get out ASAP

Jennifer D	Yes, that is abuse.

david o	YES IT IS Husband needs help

sandy l	here's the thing if we all went to the authorities every time a parent lost there temper then we would have all the kids in the custody of the state. this sounds to me like your husband has some problem with managing his negative emotions and controlling his behavior. parenting is a team effort you are one of the coaches and you need to discuss this matter with your husband. he knows as do you that what has taken place is wrong . he knows as well as you that there is no present reason to think he will not repeat such actions again. he knows he loves his children he wants more then anything to make it as a dad. he wants that trophy that says worlds best dad and i think you want him to win that too. well the game is far from over. i know professionals are required by law to report any incident of suspected child abuse. i also know that they dont do that. in a case such as you have in your home the family doctor can be of great help. medications yes sedatives can be used to treat this issue some of the pills the person does not even have to swallow they just put them under the tongue and they work all most as fast. now pills are not alone going to fix this but they will help . the doctor may find that your husband would be well off with an anti depressent. i know that some people i have seen with my own eyes stated taking the anti depressent and the mood in that home changed completely it was like all the tension just flew out the window. so you see the doctor can help you and your team make it he may have other things he wants your husband to do like attend some meetings but he will be able to help you all god has been helping already and if you ask him by way of his son he will help you all too. may the peace of the lord comfort you. may the love of the lord surrond you and may the wisdom of the lord guide you . remember blessed are the peacemakers.

adazhia	Yes, verbal abuse is as bad (or worse) than physical abuse, and your son is getting both. Your husband can also be ruining your son's self impression and that is extremely dangerous. I've was also abused as a kid and the physical stuff you don't feel anymore, but the things that stick to memory are the put-downs.

lana1meyer	Yes, that is considered abusive. It is considered emotional and mental and physical abuse. Because by law it is abusive to yell, hit,and use mental abuse on a child. It sounds like your husband has an anger problem. He needs to understand your son instead of yelling at him. Does he realize that your son has a problem following directions? Maybe you should consider counseling and if that don't work then maybe you and your son should leave.

the MRS.	yes ma'am...he is abusive.

Blazin'22	Your husband HAS got to STOP IT! That is ABUSE! will he dare do that to a co-worker or even a stranger??? Legally, assault constitutes physical contact, so He CAN"T DO THAT! I am sorry I sound REALLY EMOTIONAL but I have a 12 Year old brother with ADHD that finds it hard to follow directions, and I defend him when my parents sometimes get frustrated with him! I will DIE and even KILL for MY BROTHER! but that is YOUR SON! come to his deence FOR GOD"S SAKE! please! he will always remember that! My brother still remembers when I came to his defence against a bully when he was 8! THAT ABUSE HAS TO STOP! Tell him to never lay hand on your son again! Girl! GROW A BACKBONE! defend your BABY! One day your son will not only resent his father, but you as well if you do not do something NOW! God bless!

spuds36	yes he is being abusive i would get out as soon as i could

Momof1	Yes that is abuse i think you need to leave him if he is going to be harming the child involved. There is no excuse for him to do that.

fancyface1 l	I believe you already know the answer to this question already. Yes, Yes, Yes, it is very abusive and destructive to your young sons emotionally well being. You have to put a stop to it and protect your child.

Alwaysasking	When you say "my son" do you mean that the child is your son and not his? Sometimes a man is not as kind as he should be with another man's child. Especially an insecure man. However, if your husband has also woken the baby (I assume the baby is yours together) by being loud and unreasonable, well I'd say he really has no regard for children at all, whether they are his or not. He sounds rather immature. I would agree that he is being abusive, it is more in the form of verbal and emotional abuse though, the physical side of it is not severe enough to be considered abusive. Unfortunatly emotional abuse can leave far deeper scars than physical. If you truly care about your children then you need to stand up for their rights as humans and insist that he give them all the respect that he would any adult. He may be the male father figure in the house, but that does not give him the right to belittle your son.

pussycat	yes! he's bullying him.. why dont he pick on someone his own size! seriously, you need to talk to him about this because if you dont, it'll only get worse. my husband was treated the same way by his dad. his dad even punched him in the mouth when he was only 12 yrs old and would challange him to fight as if he were a grown man. it's awful. needless to say, my husband has issues with trusting people and he's insecure. i believe it's the way his dad treated him.

thirdeye67	Yes and you should tell him that he may not touch him again because if he does, you will call CPS.

noddy	Is this new behaviour for your husband or has he always treated his kids like this? If it's new speak to your husband about this unacceptable behaviour and try to find out why he is so angry. If it's always been this way you need counselling to stop it now. You are not comfortable with this so let your husband know that he is not being the kind of father you know he can be. Good Luck

S K	Your husband is abusing your son.

rooney	NO, that's not abusive. Can't always be pleasant to your children, they have to be prepared for the real world! I do that to my 3 yr old sometimes when i am stressed out and frustrated. If that's all he does, don't sweat it. He may get rougher and rougher over time, so you may need to discuss it with your hubby. But I know it can be frustrating, a 12 yr old should be able to follow direction and if he doesn't learn he will suffer in life. Try to help your son pay more attention and focus.

l360	This is mental abuse. It will affect the child when he becomes a teenager. He will rebel if you do not do something now.

Scooter	Verbal mental and physical abuse get your children and your self in a safe place and let him decide if he wants to Seek help or if you need to seek a legal separation. If you need a safe place go to your local woman's shelter they will help you

zen522	Is this son who you say is your son a step son to your husband? He is abusive and need to put a stop to it NOW or you need to leave him of your kids safety

More Lies & More Smoke Screens	Your son may have a problem with following instructions, but your husband has an even bigger problem keeping his hands to himself. This IS abuse!!! Your husband should find some anger management classes before he pushes & your son falls & hurts or breaks something. What is he falls & hits his head, or worse? Your son may NOT have a problem other than his dad who yells & hits....

lili	yes! maybe your son is a disapointment to your husband. you should confront your husband with this issue and let him no that his actions are not acceptable. what if the next time your husband pushes your son over he falls and hits his head on the corner of a table , your husband could accidently kill him...

schneb	abusive? HELL YES. your husband needs to go to anger management ASAP