is it natural to NOT want to find anybody?

WORKING OLDER SMARTER BLONDE	just take some time to heal. you will know when and if the time is right again to fall in love. you need to heal first.

chto tebe nado ot menya skazhi?	every guy has to be in love with some one and if you dont love anyone then you are gay(your parents dont count)

Linda K	It's natural to feel this for a while at least. I am divorced (three times), yeah I know, sounds like a real loser. But part of me felt that I couldn't trust my judgement again with men, because I kept picking the wrong one. Then I started to feel that I would be better off alone than with someone because of how it complicates your life. Well, three years after the last divorce I finally let someone into my life again. For years I was convincing myself I didn't need or want anyone. It was a way of protecting myself from being hurt again. But once I dropped my guard and considered the possibility of being with someone again, I was finally happy again. It's very normal to feel what you are feeling and you may never want to be with someone again. Each situation is different and if you were hurt enough before, then you may never let your guard down again. And there is nothing wrong with that. It takes guts to put your heart out there again.

christiel35	I have been where you are right now and I want you to know that I am very sorry for your pain. My first husband done the same thing to me. I decided right then and there when he left I never wanted to love or get married again. I went to college worked all the time went out drinking with my friends and I just shut down. But 5 years later I found one man that treated me with respect and he showed me that I could learn to trust and to love again and I promise you that this too will happen to you it will just take time. Good Luck!!! Don't give up You will find your true soul mate just be patient. All women aren't bad

nkdp86	Give time and nature time to heal your heart to allow you to be able to trust in the order of things again. You sound like a man who has depth and character and with trust and open heart, you will attract the right person.

belladonna1386	lt's okay to be alone.

RPrincess	You may feel that way now, and it perfectly normal, but give it time and you will want that love and commitment again. Especially if you were happy in this last marriage. I lost my husband back in 2000 and didn't think I would ever find someone else. It took some time and a few wrong choices but I did find him and wouldn't trade him for the world. I wish you the best of luck and if you ever need someone look me up, I'm just a message away.

kiki68	u are still mourning the loss u have undergone, accepting that soemthing u thought woudl last forever is no more. take ur time to work out ur feelings of sadness, anger, betrayal, etcv. look at the reasons why it ended objectively and see what u could have done different. look also at what the whole experience has impacted on u. u will be a better person for having worked thru the whole thing alone without the complications of another emotional relationship. then one day when u are really ok and not even looking, love may fall on ur head-bam! if it does it will be great, if it doesn't u will be at peace with urself.

SpiderDijon	i think it's natural. i've been with my baby's father for 3 years and don't want to marry him. if we ever split, it would be hard to deal with, but i'd get over it. there are just too many fish in the sea for me to stick with one forever. and currently, i don't even feel the need to be with anybody. it's just not appealing. nobody says people HAVE to find a mate. being solitary is being free.

Meng-Tzu	You sound like someone who knows what you want or don't want. Something will probably find you, even though you're not looking for it. That's the best way really.

Jennifer	Well, there is alot of good advice out there but here I go: Yes it is okay to feel that way, My husband left me, and I felt like I lost my soul mate and I didn't want to deal with anybodys bull. And trust me, I do know how you feel, cuz this just happened recently to me. You seem like a great guy, and give it time. It's true, you may never want to marry again, or it may take you quite a few years dating someone before even thinking that way. That's how my brother is now(also divorced). So don't worry about anything, and just start doing things for yourself, and have fun! Jennifer

â™¥~â™¥devilwithbleudressâ™¥~â™¥	Its very natural. Now, the unnatural thing to do is to be a loner. You must, as a single person, mingle with friends/relatives and go to the movies, go out to eat, go to parties, cook-outs with friends/relatives.

teriwilburn	It's natural to want to just be youself it part of the healing process

Sunshine	It's fine to feel the way you do..I've been there before myself. After I divorced my ex husband it took me one year to get back into dating. I took that year to do the things I wanted to do. Guys could not understand why I never wanted to go out. I spent my Saturday nights at home with my kids (I have 2) or spend time with my friends. Dating was not on my list at that time...But after I got over all the feelings I had after my divorce I started dating again. I met a wonderful man.We took things slow...He was divorced also.so he knew I didn't want to rush into anything right away. To make a long story short..We married 8 months later...I'm happier now than I've ever been. So my advice is to take this time to get to know yourself..have some fun...When your ready for a relationship you'll know it...

lily	I think you will see things differently in the future. For the the time being take time to heal.

Miss Candi	I know what you mean. I like coming home and not dealing with another adults issues. I think it is good to take some time off from all the emotional stuff that relationships bring. It is a good time to think about what you are looking for in another person. Just to share a thought, I don't believe in soul mates.

â™¥ Blondie â™¥	WE are in the same boat... but i am happy and content to be alone.... i don't put up with anyone bs ......i don't want tooo anymore.. and I cook if I want to.. clean the house.. if I want to... no one to grip at me... NO ONE TO PLEASE.. BUT ME... yeah,, it is natural.. WE both have been burned to a crisp... and don't want to go thru the heart ache ever again... maybe someday... if it all falls into place ... I will do it again... but not anytime soon.... good luck... I no the feeling...

dudleydo	You have not gotten over the loss of the person you loved and your probably never will entirely. However, there may come a time when you meet someone special again and will be able to feel some of the things you felt in your first relationship. Every relationship is different and I really hope that you do not isolate yourself from anyone that might be a possibility. Love comes into our lives in silence sometimes, give it another chance soon, you will not regret it.

delorisjp	It is normal to feel this way. Over time you may change your mind but don't think you are abnormal because you're not interested right now in seeing anyone. It is ok. I've been there and had those same thoughts. It takes time for wounds to heal. Give yourself time and take care of you. I know this is hard but hang in there. It will get better.

florida	there are other women that will love you

TwyztedChyck	Apparently you have reached a plateau in your life - and that's okay. Sometimes it's better to just float along for a little while. Sometimes we just insticntively know that that's what we are supposed to do. I think it gives us some time to reflect and repair. And also, if we would just slow down and be still, we would be able to know what we are supposed to do next.

Kristi	Time will heal you and when you are ready you will want to move on. Your still mourning her leaving, its kinds like losing someone that has passed away. You will move on with you life when you are ready to, you will just need lots of time to heal. So just take it easy, take it day by day. Don't let push people push you into anything you are not ready for. This will only cause you to push away more from a healing heart.

Darlene a	Take timeout for yourself and allow God to heal your broken heart, and then and only then will you be able to trust, and love again.

Goethe's Ghostwriter	I spent three years asking the same thing. No one around me wanted to say anything except "it's for the best". Don't wait for anyone of your wedding guests to stand up (if they didn't object to union at the wedding, why won;t they object to breakup now?). They and everyone else will show you what a marriage certificate is worth: $0. The Divorce decree is what is valued in America. Protect yourself with a good attorney. My wife of 13 years left me (pushed me out of relationship) and I felt like you do now. In many ways I still do. Yet I did find someone else who loves me. I will never believe in forever love anymore, but I'll be happy with someone who wants me rather than try to hang onto someone who doesn't. Your ex doesn't deserve the satisfaction of seeing you alone. You don't have to ever be remarried to allow yourself to live a better life (unless you're thinking of becoming a priest!). Good luck.

Ellen H	I felt the same way after my first marriage ended. I was young (23) when I left. I dated some, and had a couple of serious relationships, but none that I would have married. Out of the blue, 12 years later, I found the person that I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. Just live your life, enjoy other people when you are ready, and you will be fine.

mochachreme	You'll eventually get over that feeling. Some take longer than others, but when you do you'll look back and say what was I thinking???

Ro	It is perfectly okey, if you don`t want to go out with anyone else.....Just wait, if you are destined to be with someone else, one of these days you `ll find the right one and then you`ll say.....Never thought this would happen..........I`ve seen a lot of people like you and now they are remarried( no elaborate wedding) and they are very happy...... Good Luck & Be patient......Don`t give up the ship.....There are lots of fish in the sea...............

Mrs. Rhonda Rabbit	My mother has been this way for about 18 years. It makes me sad. Although, it makes me sad because I have love and need love very much. ( From a partner) She is quite content alone, she likes the freedom, the sole responsability etc. However, I do believe, because it is not common, she feels alone very often. I mean, all her friends have mates and anyone who doesn't, is looking for one. This makes her want one too. Sometimes! You never know what can happen over time, and you never know who you will meet. Maybe someone will catch your eye. LOL Either way, you are human and whatever you feel, is what you feel. Keep an open mind,.......... for the romantics like me can't imagine not having someone in our lives and we also can't imagine other people without someone, no matter what they say they feel or don't feel. LOL

cheeky	it is a natural feeling. i have been there twice the second time, i thought nothing could ruin. as i had my second wife on a pedestal. yet she left with another guy. i am now in a relationship that has lasted 15 years, we have been married + divorced and lost more than money. so my love today and i decided to not live with each other. but to spend weekends together and sometime during the week. it works well for us, we also have a 10 yr old son. so do not spend the rest of your life alone.

Mia	I think that's how you're feeling RIGHT now....wasn't married but i thought i wouldn't date again because of a bad relationship...but now I've met somebody new and I find myself WANTING to give it a try...I know that because you are in the situation, it's hard to see otherwise...but don't look on it like that...things WILL change...