should I be hurt/offended by my husband's "gift"?

Alexis221	I dont know if I would be offended. Maybe its time to kick it in gear and work on your belly. Did you ask him why he chose that gift? I have heard though if you wear them it does help with loosing weight not sure though.

lizzy	I think it depends on if it was a plain white or tan "granny girdle" or something black and lacy.... thumbs down on the granny girdle, but if it was something a little racier, maybe he just wants to get you into bed.

Lauren J	Id be very insulted and hurt too, you are right in what you say about a womans body after childbirth. If it were me, I would put that girdle on the next time he wanted to get intimate. Just go to bed naked except for the girdle, and if he asks why youre wearing it, Id say, "Well I assumed since you gave me the girdle you dont like how my body looks and I dont want to displease you."

little big mama	You know him better than us here on yahoo answers do so you are the sole judge of this.He probably was trying to flatter you because he knew you felt bad about your bulge. Don't be so critical, my husband has special tailored mu mus made for me and believe me I need them so count your blessings!

oracleofohio	Take the nitwit for a vasectomy and then spend the weekend laughing at him! lol Ask him "wanna bag of frozen peas?" and then say "come GET em!"

cantankerousoldlady	i think i'd buy him some JUMBO condoms, lol.

Lady Hewitt	Do not be offended... thank him for the thought and be happy about it. This was very thoughtful of him i think. Ask him if he would join a gym with you or start exercising or walking with you here and there together as a couple. This would be fun and you would loose weight and that belly at the same time. Do not read so much into this. Let it go and love him anyways.

berry	You should be so appreciative. Be thankful he cares how you look.

goldwing	Give the guy a break...he did this for you, not him. He thinks you are self conscienous about your stomach and bought you something that would help you out. Why are you so quick to feel hurt? Are you mad because he knows you are not in your best shape? He already said it didn't matter to him...but it matters to you, and he is trying to help you out. give the guy a break! If you do not start taking things kindly, your marriage is in for a rocky road. I don't mean to sound nasty, for I do not feel that way, but I think you take things out of context. He is trying to work in YOUR context, not his. Put the damned girdle on and see how you look...you might be surprised at what you see...if so, your husband did a very dear thing for you!

zzHoUnDzz	I think that he thought it was a nice gesture because he thinks that it bothers you.I dont think that it bothers him because of course you cant wear it when you two are intimate.Just chalk that up to how silly men can be sometimes.Honestly,,I think he meant well,,trying to please you to make you feel better about yourself.

Moonchild	I would be hurt. But, you need to find a gentle way to tell him the truth about how you feel. Open communication is essential to a good relationship, and resentment over things like this can build up over time, and it can also become a habit to keep your true feelings from him. This can destroy even the best relationships over time. sm

Kuji	OK, it was tactless but he seems to be a nice guy so take it in the best possible way. He probably just wants you to look your best while you're still losing weight. Tell him that you'd like a part 2 to the gift... a night out.

KRIS	never given a break to go to the gym. do some sit ups at home. it can be done. i don't understand why women, especially ones that had nice figures before the baby lay around and say, it's because i had a baby. and then the 3-5 pounds a year pile on and the pregnancy is blamed. take a walk. i have to say the gurdle was a really crappy thing to do!!! and don't think that he didnt know it too!!! it's only been four months, i'd be pissed as hell!!!!!!!

moondoggy	well if it was me i would be calm and say i aprreciated the gift but why esactly did you buy it i mean im not ashamed of my body i just had a baby are you trying to tell me something (this is coming from a 16 year old male that gives alot of advice so....yeah)

childofthefifties	OK so he is an idiot when it comes to sensitivity. I hope he has other winning traits. You will know when the time is right to let him know how the girdle really made you feel. do so and then let it go. enjoy those good traits that made you love him in the first place.

star_gazer	TAKE the gurdle back and buy you what you want.AND work on your tummy when you can.AND be good to your self because my sister had hers 4 about 18 months.SHE asked her DR how to get rid or make it smaller. SO dont over do it and hurt your self.GET ADVICE THO. huggs star

kiera70	Maybe he thought the way it made you look would make you feel better about your body, men can be dumb like that sometimes. They don't have the same logic that we do, and don't understand why some things upset us so much. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you, and thought he was helping. Just tell him the truth, but nicely. Thank him for trying to be helpful, but make sure he understands how it made you feel and why. Try not to be too hard on him, though. I'm sure he had good intentions.

Shanna h	He was probably trying to be nice, but I would be offended and hurt. Talk to him and let him know that it hurt your feelings. I am sure you will work it out.

Irish	Oh, I know it hurt your feelings, but I sincerely think he was just trying to help. Men are always looking for a quick fix to their women's problems. I know my husband is terrified to talk to me about my body since I had my two children because we tend to be overly sensitive about how we look, especially when it's impossible to get five minutes to change it. I'm sure he recognizes that your time is limited, and losing that baby weight is hard! He was probably thinking that he could boost your confidence in the meantime, and believe it or not he's telling you he loves you just the way you are. He just wants you to like how you look too. I know it hurt your feelings, but remember that having a baby makes you a more sensitive (emotional) person too, and he really didn't mean to give you the wrong impression, I'm sure of it. Men think differently than women. He saw you were uncomfortable with that "new mom body" and he thought he could fix it by helping you feel "skinny again" It has nothing to do with what he thinks of your body, just a male "see a problem-fix it" response. It's a gesture of love.

ValÂÂÂ®	you should always make something clear when he hurts you. Its honesty at the end of the day. If you hated it, tell him. Men dont like the whole "going around it" thing... say plain and clear "i hate it!"

Sparky	i can understand why your feeling this way, i would be offended too, but the best thing you can do is talk to him about it and be honest and tell him it hurt your feelings and if he is insensitive about your feelings tell him it just crushed your confidence.

OrangeCharlie	If he is not normally overly critical, I would just say he made an innocent mistake and thought it would make you feel better. Try to focus on his good intentions when he gave it to you no matter how bad it made you feel. You will be laughing about it in 30 years!