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why is future ex dragging his feet?
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why is future ex dragging his feet?

ok this is a two part question -- i'm going through custody and the lawyer for the kids asked if i seeing anyone -- what do i think the kids father thinks of me -- how relevent is that to custody? i contacted their father because he was to pay for the divorce and we have custody issues -- he ignores me -- he tells the lawyer our marriage failed because he drank and he lost his job --when the reality is he bullied me and my kids -- and abused us -- he has a gf but calls late at night when i was sick and says if i need anything let him know -- i never call him for help --he's always asking the girls about me --if i'm there -- if has a gf why call to help me? why ask about me? i never ask about him -- the gf doesnt like he's still married but he tells her he cant afford it -- its under 300--he was to pay for it -- and because he cant he just ignoring it knowing i wont date until its done -- so i'm working ot to get it done. here's my 2nd question-- why is he putting up road blocks for both of us to move on? i've already had a lawyer tell me if he disputes it or drags it out it would cost me 300 an hour -- he got what he wanted a life without kids and responsibility. our 20 yr old even confronted him about the divorce and he said he would do it - but then tells me .. well i cant afford it. is this a midlife crisis? more controling? is he in deep denial?







LovingBeingAMom
Rating
He's just being difficult. Men can be like that sometimes, especially when they have pressure on them to perform, even financially. Also, yes, it IS relevant if you're seeing someone--because you can't use him having a GF against him in court if you have a BF, so it's just a common question and something that your lawyer does in fact need to know in order to fight for your rights to your child.


Jane Smith
I dont know much about the technicalities of divorse. But it sounds like he is still trying to control you. Is there no way that you can just try to save up for the divorse yourself, have the papers drawn up and go to his house with your lawyer and get him to sign them on the spot. Tell him that you would like to see him, and then shock him with the papers. he wont have any choice but to sign and then he will be out of your life finally. Even if it takes a while for you to save up, Im sure you are maybe not ready to date yet anyway. Or maybe you could borrow the money from a family member or friend, be careful with that though.


seven answers
Rating
im married. i cant stand these fools these days who gets these devorces. what the hell is wrong with yall stop tis dont do this to your children you fools. you got married in gods eye and now you devoce dont you knowgod hates divorce.and if you dont believe in god then why would you get married there is never a reason i dont care if its cheatig or abuse or money you work better as a team. dont do this i cant think of not being wih my wife and i cant stand her MOST of the time but i love her mre than anyone dont do it. yu may b mad for one little month then throw away everythng thats stupid. ad your going to mis him. stop b4 something bad happens. and talk about custdy its his child too give him half i bet you wont.cause it take a fool to do what your doing


Tinkerbell
These are relevant questions for custody. The court will need to have information on your background, stability, income, ability to provide for the children, and any other adults that are in your household that the children may come into contact with and live with. The court need to be assured that the decision made on custody is in the best interests of the children. The question about what the father thinks of you is probably to know whether there is an amical agreement between you, or whether you have a conflictual relationship. This information will also help them in their decision about custody and how it will be implemented. There is no need for you to contact the father directly if you do not have an amicable relationship now, the lawyer can follow up the divorce proceedings. He may be calling you because he is feeling guilty about his past behaviour, or because you are the mother of his children and he wants to make sure you are all OK - this is being responsible. If he can't afford the divorce, then share the cost, or if necessary you cover the cost. He may not even realise he's putting up barriers to moving on - it may be that he just hasn't got round to doing it or hates the paperwork etc involved. I wouldn't spend too long trying to analyse his motives. Reality is he is a bully and did not behave respectfully towards you so you are better off without him. Make sure the divorce goes through, try and keep things civil to help the children adjust to their new home situation and start to live your life. Good luck.







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