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wife wants to leave home and take kids?
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wife wants to leave home and take kids?

a friend wants to take the children and leave the house. Her husband has become abusive. She doesn't have a job, but i gave her phone numbers where she can get help. Husband said she can not take the child with her. Can she leave with the child without a restraining order on him or even a Police report? she has yet to report him. I am afraid she will stay because of money what can she do?

The the kids with her and run.

Mechelle T
Yes she can leave and she needs to either go to a safe shelter or someplace he can't find her. They both have custody and he cannot keep her from leaving.

Common sense isn't anymore..
She can leave with the kids, he said that to scare her. as for keeping them though, she will need to file for custody and cite abuse. So a police report might be wise

Sup Plicating
She should contact a legal aid attorney and a women's shelter immediately.

Though, I say that if she feels it's a bad enough situation to remove the children, then it's bad enough to get police involved.

Not having a job is not a reason to stay in an abusive relationship. There is always family that will step in and help someone who is in this situation. ( I have been there myself) She can leave with the children, but that does`nt mean he is not going to pursue her.

The first thing she would need to do is get temporary custody from the courts. If she leaves with the children and does not obtain that, then he can just come and take the kids from her if he wants and nothing is there to stop him.

Once she leaves, if he threatens her, or harasses her, that is when she can get a restraining order against him.

Getting her and her children in a safe place should be her first step, filing for custody second, and then she can worry about finding a job. It is amazing how many offers come through when someone is in this type of situation. I was offered a job 2 days after leaving my ex, yet had such a hard time finding one while I was with him.

I am sure she feels hopeless right now. You need to reassure her that this is the move to make and that you and others will be there to support her while she is going through this difficult time. When we know we have support it is much easier to make this type of move come to life.

If she leaves she MUST Take the child with her. If she leaves the child behind, no matter what the reason he will claim that she has abandoned the child and sue for sole custody. He will do this to hurt her and to scare her into staying with him and accpeting his abuse.

She must take the child because if she leaves the child with him he will most likely begin to abuse the child and take his anger and frustration at not being able to get you out on the child. The child is even more defensless than your friend. She should not listen to her husband who will say and do anything to first keep her under his controll or to hurt her as much as he can.

There are shelters where she can go with her child and they will help her to get back on her feet and away from the abuser. She must do what she knows is right and not let this big bully frighten her into doing what he wants.

Dating Coach
You have already given her the advise, it's up to her to take it or leave it. She must decide what she wants to do.

Most people in abusive relationships go back to the relationship 7 times before they stop going back. It either takes the police arresting someone or some major event to them to leave.

If the police show up at her door, that called a clue.

She should call 911 next time or leave before it happens. She does not want to work or get a job, so she stays, because that's what she wants.

Momma Fearless
She needs to get out of there! Whether she has made a report or not, she is taking the children out of a dangerous situation. Because the husband is abusive to her, this means he will loose his children in a second if she steps into action. The way the law will see it: if he is abusive to her, there is no reason why he cannot be abusive towards the children.

She needs to make a police report, file for a restraining order, and a divorce. In the divorce, she will get both child support AND alimony (until she remarries). If he has a lot of money, then most likely she will get a lot of it monthly. The court will not say no to this because of the abuse.

Of course she can leave. And yes, take the child with her.

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